What do you think about soap in the mouth??

she's three.

Thank you for bringing up a good discussion subject. When my son was young, in second grade he was using some awful language on the playground about other kids mothers . We got proof that he was saying these things and then my husband put soap in his mouth . We let a therapist know about the soap in the mouth and she told us that she thougth about reporting us for child abuse . She told us that we should put our son on the school bus in the morning in his pjs because we had trouble getting him up and ready for school. That is not abusive , but soap in the mouth is?? I'm sorry but if I were a child Id much rather have the soap then to be put on the school bus in my pajamas . I could never shame my kid in front of everyone on the bus ! I don't see anything wrong with the bar of soap in the mouth if they are old enough to know what they are doing and you heard it or have proof of what they said .

It is not wrong to show dominance over a child. In fact if we do not most of the time they take advantage of the situation. When I say "because I said so..." I'm telling that child this is my house and my rules..just like any parent would. There are consequences for things we do that displease those in charge of situations. ...for instance in grown up life if we speak in those terms to police officers it can get us arrested. We do not give our children harsh consequences because we are abusive. We give our children harsh consequences because the consequences for doing these things to people that command our respect are often dire and irreversible. To speak that way to a commanding officer, to talk that way to a policeman, a teacher, clergyman, would be embarrassing and wrong. SO, we punish them because to do these things is wrong and to not have consequences of some kind is wrong. Children are NOT small adults..they are children. They have to be taught through example, consequences and boundaries that we set for them up until such time as they can make their own judgements. If I let my daughter call the shots (she's six) she would not only swear like a sailor, but she'd climb everything she wanted too..and that means school walls, water tower ladders, trees, bridges. This kid thinks she's a mountain goat. If I don't tell her not to do something and she does it and falls and kills herself...is it her fault or mine? If some kid gets arrested for rude and lacivious conduct for harassing a girl is it his fault or is it his parents' who didn't bother to teach him simple manners? We cannot watch our children 100% of the time so we have to instill in them the idea that if they do the wrong thing, something will happen whether we catch them at it or not.

The thing is, and I guess I should have mentioned this before is, she heard me using the A- word. I was pissed at my husband and called him the name in front of her so that's my fault. The f-word she got from him. We do cuss like sailors though.

How are you going to justify punishing her for something she hears you do all the time? Children model what they see. It doesn't seem fair to punish her for something you've shown her how to do!

Angelface- Just because you say it doesn't mean they should. More than the word you said it is how you said it. Perhaps more important is to teach her its not cool to call names etc. She shouldn't use words to hurt people and that is important too. If you said the word in anger you can explain that's a grown up "mad word" and she shouldn't say it. If she won't stop, and the soap makes her remember...associate it using phrases like "those are soapy words..we better clean that mouth up"..or something..to remind her. But tell her you are doing it so she will remember that the wrong words "leave a bad taste". She will learn eventually. She's not an adult, she doesn't need to act like one any more than she needs to be treated like one.

Quite frankly even though you said this wasn't aimed at ME it was, you chose to post it in response to what i said...not to the first person that said it (first responder).