What do you prefer having a baby before or after getting married?

i agree with you...i also want to have a baby after marriage....i just wanna feel the thing that i am the baby of my boyfriend hehehehehe......

Hello n30wing I prefer getting married first before. As my family is very traditionally, my parents don't accept my hubby and I live together before marriage, then I think as couples we still need time to figure out if we match each other or at least we can live with each other for a life. If yes, then we can have a baby, as I think childern would grow up happily only if their parents are good couples with good relationship, so I prefer getting married first and then decide if we can have a baby. I don't like to have a baby so fast after marriage too, I don't want my baby has a broken family and want to a responisble mother if I can. Have a nice day~

Weddings don't have to be fancy or expensive. Its the meaning BEHIND the wedding thats important. Though personally myself, i would rather have been married to the person for around maybe 2 years before i consider having a child with them. I'd want to know we'd bring a child into an un-hostile and steady environment. I'd hate to think I'd put my child through years of arguments etc - Where i / my partner may not have had a steady relationship. That's just me though. ^^

Of course, I prefer after getting married. I don't want to hear any bad comment from other people. Here in our country, I know that there are so many young mother who got pregnant before married or even single mother. Honestly, I don't want to belong to their community. It's not that I'm ashamed of them, I just don't like to be a mother in a very young age and no assurance that I can give a father to my child. There is a possibility that he will run away or live us and I don't have the right to stop him since he don't have a responsibility to me but only to my child. Well, the truth is I'm just afraid of what other people will think of me and most of all I don't know how to live my child on my own.

Hi there. I agree with you, having baby after getting married is much better for me. However, i do have a baby before getting married. I could say that the wedding is not what i want, i was having a big tummy on my wedding day. It's not a good thing for my family. Although my parents did not say anything about it, but i know in their heart, they don't like the wedding was presented at this way. For me, it's senseless to imagine how the things can be restart again. However, in my point of view, i think it's better to have a baby when we have the financial foundation especially under this economic situation. Once we have the baby, most of the time, we could not find some times for ourselves, it's all about the baby. We only could do somethings (especially the house chores) when the baby is sleeping. So, i do think after marriage, enjoy ourselves first for some years then just have a baby. Have a nice day and happy mylotting.

I want to have a baby after marriage. That is my ideal order of events. At times though, things happen fast; that's why others are forced to switch the order.

I would prefer to get married first then have children or child. In the society in which I live it is not proper to have children before one gets married. Such thing in consider a taboo in our society. Never seen any myself.

I had my children after I was married. It was hard enough getting use to living with my husband and his quirks. We waited until we were settled a bit before starting our family.

Yes, i love that too, having a baby after marriage, but in some circumstances it doesn't happen all the time. It is nice to feel that you have both time in each other before you will giving time to another person, the child.

This is a really good discussion and I am sure that different people have different opinions when it comes to having children before or after marriage,I am sure that some people prefer to have kids before marriage,and then I am sure that some people prefer to have kids after marriage,and I can understand that different people have different preferences,and different ideas,and I know that there are not usually two people who think the same way,when it comes to children,me and my fiance want to have kids after we get married,and our wedding is set for September of this year, because we think it would be better for our children if we are married before we have them,and plus we think that God would want us to get married before we have children,and plus since we will be married,we can save up money so we can get our own place,since right now we are living with my parents,and we can save up so we can start our family,and we do not want to have kids until we are financially ready so that way we can provide for them everything they need,even though we know our families would help us if we needed it,have a great day,good luck with your life,and all of your mylotting goals,and Happy Posting.

Yes, it is better to have a baby after getting married to enjoy first being with my husband. In my case before I've got pregnant we spent almost one year and then right after our first year wedding anniversary I became pregnant. Not only to enjoy the partnership while not having a baby but to prepare also ourselves for being a responsible parents. It's hard nowadays to be a perfect parents because of many things around us like economic problem and so on.. So better to have a baby after marriage.. Have a nice day friend!

I have 3 children and I'm not married. I don't think that I will ever actually get married because I don't think that marriage is about the things that people have made it out to be. It's more about 2 people that are making the commitment to love each other and be there for each other for the rest of their lives. Why muck things up with a legal piece of paper?

surely,..wedding first b4 baby

Having a baby after getting married is a proper way. I don't want the reason of getting married because of being pregnant and the pressure of the people around us.

I would like to have had my children after I got married but, alas, I had them both before. I tried to conceive for the whole six years of my first marriage. Then my marriage ended and six months later I found myself pregnant. A pleasant surprise, yes. But I was pretty much alone and my parents were less than enthusiastic. Don't get me wrong, they embraced me and my child but they did let me know they were a little disappointed. With the second child I was at least living with my boyfriend. We are both from strong Catholic upbringings and I feel we would have gotten a lot more happy, congratulatory reactions if we were married. Even to us there was not as much happiness initially. Whether we know it or not, I think there is a certain mindset that says it's not right. When married couples announce their pregnancy the whole world cheers. When unmarried couples announce their pregnancy, at least with us, I felt like some people were happy for us, others were talking behind our backs, etc... initially. I think even me, myself, I would have been more excited about the pregnancies had I been married. Perhaps that's just me. *shrug*

YOu ar right life is not very easy and getting tougher all the time. For us it was best to wait til after we were married to have kids. Plus, it's just the right way to do it in my opinion. I don't shun anyone who has had a child before marriage but it depends on that persons life and age. As my friend from highschool she's 34 and she's a GRANDMOTHER! Her then 15yo (now almost 17) had a baby last June & now her youngest who just turned 15 last month is now expecting! Their mom wasn't ready to be a mom when she had her oldest @ 18, nonetheless are her girls as teenagers. I just shake my head when I think about it, how awful for her girls to throw their education away so they can be the latest fashion statement by pushing a stroller around. Either way I hope I instill in my kids to wait to have kids til after they are done with college, maybe have a house of their own & definatly married. It's too hard to be a parent on your own & there's no guarantee when you are not married if dad will stick around. *sigh*

Personally I would rather have kids and NOT the marriage at all. I am not a fan of marriage. Don't see the need these days! I don't think it really matters before or after though, to follow your line of thinking. Just when you both feel you want to start a family you should go for it.

Both my mother and I were married first and then we got pregnant and had a baby. I consider that to be the appropriate way to do things. Now, my daughter who is my only child, is a single parent of a 3 and a half little girl. She has no intentions of finding the baby's father or getting married, that is unless Mr. Right comes along unexpected. She doesn't date and is looking for a nursing assistant job since she is now licensed by the state. Happy MyLotting. have a great weekend

I want to have kids after I get married. Maybe even adopt instead of having kids of my own. I would never have a child before marriage, because I think you always have to wonder did the person marry you for you or did they marry you because they love the child and/or feel obligated.

Im not married and I have a daughter and another on the way. Peopel can judge me by this but I dont care at the end of the day me and my partner are very much in love and we dont need a piece of paper to show that. Marriage these days is so expensive and I cannot imagine spending £20,000 on one day just to get a piece of paper out of it.