Everybody loves my boyfriend but my parents no way!!

United States
June 6, 2009 12:01am CST
IT's so confusing..My boyfriend it's a social guy.. everybody.. we find on the street say he is a great guy.. his parents tell me that he is his best son..(his father is a Pastor ) He is a guy who a lot of pastors know him all of them tells me good things about him... BUT MY PARENTS.. They don't like him and he was always a good person with them.. It hurts... because they are telling me that without their blessing my life is gonna be miserable..and what confuse me more is my boyfriend.. the pastor telling me that I'm a good person.. but I have parents.. that doesn't care about me ..
3 people like this
14 responses
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
6 Jun 09
Your parents are afraid of losing you. It's hard on parents when their kids become adults and start making plans for their own lives outside of the family home. They want the best for you but they also have fears and right now their fears are increased because you've met **a guy**! Try your best to reassure them that you will be fine, that they raised you to be a thinking, rational person and that you're not going to do anything stupid with your life. Then go on and make your own decisions. They will adjust.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Jun 09
Since I didn't see them for to long I had this 3 years for enjoying them and it hurts because I won't see them too much because.. my mother doesn't have documents to travel... and I'm expecting to live in another country with my future husband.. but what can I do.. I didn't decide to leave our original country... they decide to come to US .. and this 3 years were hard.. because they got separated here.. and we had big fights at home.. when we're expecting to have a normal family but things changed..actually they are working in the relationship... but they don't trust in each other.. I just pray for them.. and hope that my sisters will be ok..
• Pakistan
6 Jun 09
truely a nice suggetion spalladino ... i m totally agree with u !
• Indonesia
7 Jun 09
hi, i am agree too
@med889 (5941)
6 Jun 09
My boyfriend is of a different religion than mine and my parents do not like him. I find it an action of ortodoxy because I though people are far much mature nowadays. I continue to meet my boyfriend though my family has forbidden me to do so. I cannot forget all those wonderful moments spent with him so I have decided to continue my love for him, He does not deserve so many humiliation just because we are different. Once my dad said that I will never be happy in life with him, I was hurt and I cried a lot but I cannot punish my boyfriend for something he has not done. Life is complicated at times but we have to be brave and mature. I love my family but I cannot do injustices to my love.
@med889 (5941)
6 Jun 09
My dad has taken my mobile, he has prevented me to sleep on the bed and told me to sleep on the sofa. I don't eat at home and everyday I have to buy my own food, I cannot watch Television. I have to pay the bills of water, electricity and telephone it I use them. Life is boring but still I cannot let their thoughts win because I know my boyfriend is not a very bad person. We love each other and my parents think that we have sinned.
• United States
6 Jun 09
you are right.. it's like encountered feelings... because for me my parents are the example that I suppose to follow and they don't want the worst for me... but one friend (she is s mother )told me that they as parent they need your help and it's not convenient for them letting you go.. that was shocking for me.. but they changed when I didn't have a job and I couldn't continue paying.. the cable , the internet , home phone.. the 3 cellphones.. and buying some clothes for my sister.. etc..they changed.. My father is pushing me to get a job.. and that makes me feel like my friend was right.. so sad about it
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
7 Jun 09
I think there might be a reason for your parents to hate your boyfriend. I would suggest to talk with your parents and ask them why they do not like your boyfriend. I would suggest you to have talk with your parents or with the help of a family friend or relative talk with your parents. Most times it might help to remove the miscommunication if there is any.
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
7 Jun 09
I guess,the Pastor had a true remark about your parents, not because your bf is his son, rather it is because he is a parent too. I sympathize with the idea about what you mentioned "without their blessing my life is gonna be miserable"...Such is like a curse to you, which is pathetic. My question is, do your parents really have the open-heart knowing your boyfriend? Or are there a times that they bonded that is why they do not like him? If those events were never present, then they should have given a fair judgment towards your bf. Well, it is upto you if you get affected with what your parents say, when in fact you know very well about your bf better than them. You have the better standing of figuring out what is best for you. You are already an adult i guess to know what is god and best for you. With due respect to your parents, they are just there to guide and advise, but never to decide what you want. May I ask, are you still living with your parents?
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
7 Jun 09
You have to sit down with your parents and demand to know WHY they don't like your boyfriend. I've had boyfriends that everyone seems to like but my parents. I ignored my parents and followed my heart with no regrets but...in retrospect...they were right in their concerns. As a parent, I just want my girls to be happy. It is hard to see them with a guy that I can clearly see is not good for them. Still, I know that trying to pull them apart won't work but will only put distance between me and my daughter. I don't know your parents reasons. I do question the pastor that told you that your parents don't care. I am sure that whatever your parents reason...it is because they do care about your and your future happiness. I don't agree with your parents telling you that without their blessing your life will be miserable. I think they are telling you that to control you. Sadly, they are right...you probably will be miserable. What they aren't telling you is that they also will be miserable.
@mariposaman (2959)
• Canada
7 Jun 09
It sounds like everyone in your family needs to do a lot of growing up. You sound like a fourteen year old instead of a 21 year old adult woman. Your parents are probably trying to keep you their little girl and a virgin (like that train left the station a long time ago). I think you are old enough to make your own decisions. Your parents are being selfish and do not realize the more they push, the more you will push back and defend your boyfriend. Just make sure that he is what you say he is and you are just not saying that to prove yourself right, and start to make decisions for yourself.
1 person likes this
@makatron (503)
• Dominican Republic
6 Jun 09
been there, i guess is matter of tastes
@YazEid (1139)
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
Hello Lita try to sit with your parents , talk with them about your boyfriend , make sure that you understand why they don't like him , make your BF meet your parents , talk to them and if he was a good guy as you say am sure that they will like him , and don't worry your parents will respond to what you want but make sure that you understand each others
@zydtchb (32)
• China
6 Jun 09
nobody can take away your happyness,include your parants,if you beilive your boyfriend is a good man and you really love him,why don't you communicate with your parents,maybe there are something mistake
@reckon21 (3479)
• Philippines
6 Jun 09
There are many things in life that when you are younger seems hard and complicated. Maybe your parents had their own reason why they don't like your boyfriend. But don't give up,just give them enough time. Things doesn't happened overnight. Maybe in the future things will be different. Just keep on praying to God.
@stanlee81 (381)
• China
6 Jun 09
Wow,sounds confusing enough.What i wanna say is this is your own busniess.So,you have the power to deceide!
@omiami (412)
• Malta
6 Jun 09
Maybe you should give them sometime to get used to him. I know that for sure its not an easy situation. Try to assure them and speak to them. Confide with them about your worries so maybe they will understand you. Maybe they are afraid and worried about you. Maybe they are too much protective. Well what i think you should do is to follow your heart although you might go against their wish. They lived their own life so you should live yours too and in peace. I dont agree with them when they tell you that without their blessing your life is gonna be miserable. Its not a good thing to say that to a child no matter what decision the child is going to take. Follow your heart and dont let them get in your way. They are your parents and you should love them no matter what but dont let them influence your life. goodluck!
• Pakistan
6 Jun 09
our parents r more important then anyone else ... its not like they don't care about u thing is may be they think u r not mature enough to choose someone for urself by own ... u just have to act maturily n try to make them belief on u that u have choosen a right guy for u ... if they r not agree then be wid ur parents may be something is wrong with ur guy that ur parents' eyes can see n u can't.. its not that if everyone likes him so he is perfect for u our parents know us more than us may be they thing he is not the perfect guy for u .... try to talk to them peacefully n take out any peaceful n mature decision... Hope u be successful to make them agree on ur choice!
@YoungTay (83)
• United States
6 Jun 09
its just like that with me an my girlfriend her parents dont like me one bit but her friend and everyone else think we are just perfect together like they sometimes dont even like us hanging out thats strange because nobody doesnt stop them from hanging out an we dont eveb be doing anything bad its just they dont like me so we are in the same situation