I have some advice
By 3cardmonte
@3cardmonte (5098)
June 6, 2009 2:12pm CST
Never use a word unless you are 100% what it means.
Nver EVER try and scratch your tonsils if you have glue on acrylic nails
Don't drink and text.
Don't drink and email.
If you have eaten jalepeno peppers wash you damn hands before you do anything!
If you're rubbing your eye, mind where you put your knuckles.
If your Dad spray polishes your Mums shoes, make sure he stays out of the tiled area so you don't slip on the floor and bang your head on the work surface
Do you have any good advice for me?
5 responses
@MrEvil (42)
• United States
7 Jun 09
Don't do hallucinogens alone, in the city.
Don't shave if there's a possibility of being startled.
Don't catch a live rat and hold it by the tail.
Don't bathe a cat without thick clothing and a good grip.
Don't take a handful of truck stop speed on an empty stomach.
Don't smoke in the dark if you're sleepy.
Don't forget to check the toilet paper in public restrooms.
Don't fall asleep with HBO on late at night if you live with your parents.
Don't try to walk on iced pavement in running shoes.
Don't forget to wear a cup when you're playing hockey.
Don't pick up a tissue with anything but the tips of your fingers.
Don't assume you'll be back in the house before your food finishes cooking.
Experience, yo.
@3cardmonte (5098)
•
7 Jun 09
some sound advice there mr Evil, thanks! incidentally whats a truck stop pill?
@3cardmonte (5098)
•
7 Jun 09
DUDE!freaky sh1t!
I live in the UK, so we dont have anything that even comes close to that here, at leat not that I have seen!
@MrEvil (42)
• United States
7 Jun 09
You know those clear bottles of orange/red pills in truck stops/ most convenience stores? It's basically watered down legal speed. Truck drivers use them to stay awake for long periods of time.
My step-dad used to be a truck driver, so he always had a bunch lying around. Being a caffeine junkie, I thought "this must be like coffee in a pill :D", and started sneaking a few at a time. One time I took several when I hadn't eaten, it was like being in the womb of a mother in a drag race. =p
@heathcliff (1415)
• United States
6 Jun 09
Excellent advice. I think I'll make note of these. Of course, I wish you had not told everyone that first one: life is more fun when people don't even realize what they are saying.
I was worried about the second one too, until I realized I have yet to ever wear fake nails and had my tonsils removed (just in case).
@georginaswift86 (111)
•
6 Jun 09
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on!!
I don't trust camels. I don't trust anything that can go without a drink for three weeks!
@sysdexlicwriter (1619)
• United States
6 Jun 09
If you live in the north (cold) country this one is always good to know:
Don't put your tongue on anything metal outside when it is cold, you may not get your tongue back.
Do not pick a mate for their good looks, it is like picking a house because you like the paint. Take a look at the inner structure to make sure the foundation is good.
