What could she be doing wrong?

Philippines
June 6, 2009 9:59pm CST
I have a friend who after breaking with her boyfriend started going on dates her other friends have been setting up for her. The problem is that while my frined was pretty and great to talk to (although I may be the wrong person to say this cause I am also a girl!), he dates never seem to call her back after the first date. This happened twice. She went out with two guys (not at the same time of course) and while they seem to be getting along well, they never called back after the date. What could my friend be doing wrong?
1 person likes this
15 responses
@khayshenz (1384)
• United States
7 Jun 09
I think the men she has dated realized that this woman could be looking for a rebound relationship - and they don't have time to waste, so they don't pursue her. So it's not her fault, it's not their fault either. Though we don't really know what happened in the dates so this is all speculation. For all we know, she talked about her ex the whole time. That's definitely a turn off, right guys? What she needs to do is take time to just chill by herself and learn how to be single again. Learn how to love herself. Maybe then, she'll find someone on her own. P.S. I don't see anything wrong with being set up by friends, provided that these friends know the person very well.
2 people like this
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
Oh yes, our friends would never set her up with someone they barely know. I am also beginning to think that although the date may have gone well, the guys must have felt that my friend wasn't really ready to go out. I know she knows better than talk about her ex with the guys she went out with but just the same guys can be very perceptive about these things. Right? Thanks for responding!
@eLsMarie (4345)
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
Hi scarletwitch12! i don't think that there is something wrong with your friend. it's just that maybe the guys were only up to something for the first date. maybe for some reason, your friend dated men who aren't deserving for a long time "getting to know each other thingy." :)
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
Hi back eLsMarie! Maybe it was better that they didn't get to date again cause I really think that a guy should still call a girl up after a date if only to ask her if she got home alright. Even if they are not interested! Thanks for the response! Have a great day!
@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
8 Jun 09
HI, I don't think she is doing anything wrong but sometimes they can't find something that would be interesting more, that's why they don't call. Or may be she is not over her boyfriend yet or may be the guy doesn't like something about her. Each one of us has some special thing that no one can understand or tell right the way until you meet someone you love then your partner will learn or understand something about you. Love takes time and you have to give time for her... she will meet someone later pretty soon
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
That is a sweet thing to say. I guess these things really take time! Thanks for the nice advise!
• Canada
8 Jun 09
I know it's cliche but when your not looking the right one will come along. Do you think maybe your friend is coming off as to eager or desperate? Dating could actually be fun, guys are way more attracted to independent women who are happy with themselves :) hopes this helps....
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
Yes it does! You are right, sometimes the best things does take time! Thanks for responding!
@hi2rashid (153)
• India
7 Jun 09
my dear friend get only good friends not a bad friends. be careful while setting a girl as friend
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
It was really our friends who set her up. I honestly would have wanted her to get over the break up on her own since I think dating when you just got out of a relationship may not be the best thing. Thanks!
• Canada
7 Jun 09
maybe its because they were acting all good but they were actually not as good as you think
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
That may be it! Afterall we have no idea what really happened in their dates! Thanks for the response!
@n30wing (4767)
• Philippines
7 Jun 09
Hi scarwitch12, I think there is nothing wrong with your friends, it's the guys he dated. Maybe they know your friend is not ready with another relationship, and still have a hung up with her ex. Or just those guys also is not interested with your friend, that is why. Just let your friend enjoy herself, even they don't call her up again. Have a nice day to you!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
That is great to hear from a guy! I guess she will just have to take her time huH? Thanks! Have a great day!
@tonyllenium (6252)
• Italy
7 Jun 09
the problem is she did not go out me...i usually call girls if i go out with them! I don't think she did something wrong...i think simly she went out with men that they are not interested in her and so they didn't call back after the first date!!
• Philippines
7 Jun 09
I really hope she finds a great guy like you! Thanks for the response!
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
7 Jun 09
Setting someone up with a complete stranger usually doesn't work because people need common ground in order to connect. If the only thing they have is their connection to the person who set them up, it's hard to get to know each other well enough for one or both of them to be interested in a second date. Also, and I hate to say this, but my son used to consider girls his friends set him up with as hard up and desperate. Your friend needs to work within her own social circle, or to widen it in order to meet new people and let things go naturally from there.
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
That is probably true. The problem is that some of our friends really insist on setting her up. Guess it isn't helping her at all! Thanks for the insights!
@reckon21 (3479)
• Philippines
7 Jun 09
Maybe there's really nothing wrong with her. I think the guys are having second thoughts about dating her more. Maybe they have their own reason. Looks and personality doesn't really make a sure winner in dating. It's about being comportable with the one you date.
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
You make a good point. There may just be little chemistry to signal the start of something that could cause a second date! Thanks for the reponse!
@srganesh (6340)
• India
7 Jun 09
The first thing she should have avoided is going dates with set up boy friends.A long term relationship is possible if there is something striking in between the two.They should have mutual attraction before going for a date.otherwise it would end as a nominal meet.You could not expect more.Cheers!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
I guess it doesn't work for some people. Getting set up does tend to be more complicated than regular dating with all the expectations from the people who set you up in the first place! Thanks for the insight! Cheers to you too!
@whizkid08 (715)
• India
7 Jun 09
Well, what I feel, your friend must be in search for a boy with whom she could go along. And that's the reason she doesn't call the guys back after dating as she doesn't find a match with them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
Actually it's the guys who do not call. But maybe you are right too. Maybe it wasn't much of a match for both of them. Thanks!
• Canada
7 Jun 09
or maybe they're secretly dating by not calin bak :P
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
It suddenly turned out to be a secret affair huh? LOL!
• United States
7 Jun 09
There's a number of things your friend may be doing wrong. The most obvious is that she smells! I cannot stress this enough. Tell her to get some mints and wear some STRONG deodorant. You can be the prettiest, funniest, loving person but bad hygiene will send them running.
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
I can assure you that is not the case!
• Canada
7 Jun 09
or maybeshes going out with your momma xd