Would you forgive a HIGH SCHOOL BULLY??
By thenextnoel
@thenextnoel (396)
Philippines
June 7, 2009 11:27am CST
I recently got back to my home town after 5 years and decided to take a look around the ole place. Of all the people I would run into, I ran into this one guy who used to bully me in high school because of my stutter. Now even after all the years and all the growing up both of us had undergone, the wounds I had because of these bullies were still fresh. We shared an awkward conversation and decided to share a cab since we were going in the same direction. I thought the guy had changed but apparently some tinge of his former self resurfaced during the conversation. I could feel him trying to dominate me verbally. He even had the nerve to make me pay for the entire taxi fare which I refused.
I don't really like to hold grudges and feel happy when misfortune falls on others but apparently this bully had some tough times himself in which he was involved in a property dispute with a stepsister from his fathers former wife who tried to bully him (seems to run in the family) out of his share of the property, and he had to give up his land. The small but successful business his family had during high school also seems to be failing.
I had to do some soul searching and ask myself whether I should be happy about this or feel sorry for the guy. I've decided that even though I don't like him I actually want him to succeed in life . It was a hard decision and I also had to fight my own feelings of insecurity but I want to learn to forgive and be happy for the guy.
Can you give me your thoughts on the topic? Do you have experiences of bullying? Or were you a bully yourself? Thanks in advance for future comments. :)
1 person likes this
13 responses
@cbeee3 (2061)
• India
7 Jun 09
I was neither a bully nor was I ever bullied. But I dislike that guy, for the way he treated you.I know it may sound shallow since I don't know you, but I mean it.
It is not easy to let go of such memories is it? Especially, when traces resurface. He should have at least apologized for the way he treated you.
Oh well, sorry for getting a little crazy in my response, but people like that make me mad. :|
God bless!
@thenextnoel (396)
• Philippines
7 Jun 09
Well it was a long time ago but you're right it is hard to forgive :) Thanks for your response
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
8 Jun 09
I would not really forget the way I was bullied at school. While some people are born with bullish traits, others like me are born a little shy and introvert…so I don’t really know whom to blame for the situation. If I had the courage or the trait to respond back, maybe I would not have been bullied at all. And then again, in childhood, incidents that seem hugely important…loose their impact once we are adults. Out priorities change, so does our perception of the bullies of childhood. However, if I do meet somebody from those times…I would not really hug that person…maybe just a civil Hello!
@thenextnoel (396)
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
I guess our scars at childhood don't really heal when we get older but our priorities do. Thanks for the response :)
@rainmark (4302)
•
7 Jun 09
I've been bullied when i was in high school and even when i was in grade school. It's hard to forget specially when it's too personal and too hard to let go specially when you see them sometimes coz they reminds you the past,the bad past that they did to you. But that was the past and i tried to forget it and ignore it.
Happy posting.
@thenextnoel (396)
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
"Forgiveness is divine"
Good to know you're one of the divine people. Thanks for the comment :D
@Philbo (578)
• Canada
7 Jun 09
I got bullied by a small group of older students when I first got to highschool. I was lucky though. After the first exhibition basketball game though they realized that they might incur the wrath of the rest of the team. They backed off. I made no effort to get back at them. I think if I met any of them today there would be no bad blood. I don't hold grudges.
@thenextnoel (396)
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
Nice to hear you're with the basketball team in high school. I think kids seldom pick those who are good in sports. Thanks for the comment :D
Hope Orlando wins the championship this year, but the Lakers seem relentless!
@doggyhouz (548)
• United States
8 Jun 09
If the bully approached me i would forgive him because he asked and as an adult we must know we did stupid things when we were young. Now if you go look for a bully that bullied you, then i wont because if u did that u must not really have friends and u wante to Tleast deal with ur last resort
@thenextnoel (396)
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
Yeah we all do stupid things in the past, but some people never seem to change. Thanks for the comment :)
@heathcliff (1415)
• United States
7 Jun 09
I was lucky not to have many bullies, but I remember those few idiots VERY well. If I ran into them now I would try to be polite and if I felt they were a better person now I would forgive them. If I still see them bullying their way through life, I would probably be very hard to live with for a while. I would probably even try to find a way to make their life miserable for a bit, but I would feel guilty about it later!
@thenextnoel (396)
• Philippines
7 Jun 09
I guess some people just have such a hard time in life that they take it out on others. They need to be quarantined lol :D
@Modestah (11179)
• United States
8 Jun 09
I have not had the occassion to "run in to" any of the bullies from school - I have forgiven any injuries that they may have caused me, a long time ago - however, I do not know what my reaction would be if I did happen upon any of them.
I would likely have an aversion to them - hopefully though I would not will them any ill. Things like this have a way of correcting themselves with time - what comes around goes around, as they say and vengence is not mine to dole out.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
8 Jun 09
Well... I cannot say that I don't get some satisfaction out of seeing someone get what's coming to them if they were a bully, stepped on others, went about causing trouble just because they could, etc. Forgiving does not mean forgetting, and I probably would forgive if they were decent - but not without letting them know their behavior was disreputable and rude and I'd hope they had learned not to be like that any more.
There are people in my past who had taken advantage of me or used me as a doormat, and although I don't necessarily wish ill towards them, I want them to KNOW that I KNOW they did, and I didn't like it then, don't appreciate it now, and if they intend to or do treat others that way NOW, I will definitely spread the word about the type of person they have been and are. The only way to get rid of a bully is to make everybody aware so that everywhere they turn, nobody lets them get away with it.
@oyenkai (4394)
• Philippines
15 Jun 09
That's some strong character you have there. I don't know if I can find it in me to forgive a high school bully. I actually can't find it in me to understand why some people enjoy hurting others - why they are so inconsiderate and self centered. In a way, that makes me self centered as well because I keep on thinking on how much inconvenienced and hurt I was but I think it's only fair for people like me who try to make life simpler and happier for other people as well, simply by being considerate of their feelings.
I think I still have an immature heart to be thinking this way and I need a serious soul searching on my own. I hope that I would find peace in forgiveness.
Thanks for the response on my discussion :)
@hi2rashid (153)
• India
8 Jun 09
Yes. school memories are sweeter memories. that will came once in a life time. we can remember what happened there in life time. so we can forgive them all.
