How much money to give at a wedding?
By leyisa
@leyisa (486)
Canada
June 9, 2009 9:04pm CST
Ok - So I'm invited to a wedding (another one...grrr) next month...My husband and I are also taking 2 of our kids with us (one new born, the other 6 yrs old). So usually when it's just me and my hubby going, we give $300 as a gift ($100 each to cover our plate and then $50 each for gift). My question is: do I have to pay more if i'm taking the kids? Technically my newborn is not going to eat their food - do I still have to pay for her? and my 6 years old is probably going to eat off my plate...do I give another $100 from her....I was thinking of only giving the normal $300...is that too low for 2 adults and 2 kids???
2 people like this
17 responses
@calyxus (825)
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
You mean you pay for the food whenever you attend a wedding? 
For the gift it's OK...
Because here in our place, whenever you're invited to a wedding party, all the food is free. It's like eat-all-you-can, really. 
But maybe I just didn't get what you mean.
However in my opinion, you just go ahead with the usual $300, I think they won't mind... LOL 
For the gift it's OK...
Because here in our place, whenever you're invited to a wedding party, all the food is free. It's like eat-all-you-can, really.
But maybe I just didn't get what you mean.
However in my opinion, you just go ahead with the usual $300, I think they won't mind... LOL 
Then I guess you are not obliged to give a bigger amount?
So you could still go for the 300 bucks... 
@Trgg649 (18)
• United States
11 Jun 09
If they have a wedding registry, I would recommend contributing in that. That way it actually helps them out if they are like moving into new homes. I believe that gifts do not really matter that much, but your presence and support to the couple. I dont really like the thought of giving money as gifts, but then again if you don't really have the time and are clueless what to give, I would guess its a good second option to replace the wedding registry contributing.
@clorissa123 (4926)
• United States
10 Jun 09
$300 is way too much for my budget. I usually go alone myself, and I only give $50 for the wedding as my token of congratulations. Although I eat their food, but what I ate has limitation too. So, $50 should be enough.
@leyisa (486)
• Canada
10 Jun 09
True - $300 is a bit much but that seems to be the tradition around here...Atleast from what I hear..Normally ppl say that you should give enough to cover your plate (which is usually anywhere from $80-100) and then a little bit extra for a gift...These weddings are starting to get too expensive :)
@Jennlk84 (4205)
• United States
10 Jun 09
I've honestly only been to a few weddings now that I'm out of my parents house and an "adult." So I may not be the best person to answer this question. 300$ sounds like a lot to me! Unless maybe you're closely related to them? I honestly had never heard of people giving money to pay for their plate. That is so generous though. I'm a bride to be. Getting married in a week and a 1/2. I will be grateful for whatever we get - because I honestly don't even know what to expect! lol
I'm anxious to see what others thoughts are on this. It would be a good thing for me to know when going to weddings in the future!
@leyisa (486)
• Canada
10 Jun 09
Hey Jennlk84 - First of all, Congrats on the upcoming wedding - try to enjoy the day b/c it goes by way too fast :)
With regards to the $300, I am fairly close to the bride and am also in the wedding party as a bridesmaid (which means I have to spend even more money to buy my dress...gosh). I am fairly sure that you will get atleast $100/pp for your wedding - ISn't it tradition in the U.S. as well to give money...I thought it was a north american thing (I'm in Canada)
@AlyssaCB (68)
• Canada
10 Jun 09
Typically what we do where i live, (western canada) we give $100.00 per plate and $50.00 per adult as a gift and $25.00 per child as a gift.
$100.00 x 2 Plates
+$ 50.00 x 2 Adults
+$ 25.00 x 2 Children
$350.00 which i know seems like alot, i might just do the $300.00 because your children are so young.
@doggyhouz (548)
• United States
11 Jun 09
My thoughs exactly. Im chinese and that is wut we usually do. Best gift do come in small packages especially when there green inside
@anggareds (96)
• Indonesia
10 Jun 09
i think $100 is too high to be given at wedding. I usualy give just $1-$5 because they invited so much friends, so why should we give them so much money ?
@tonyllenium (6252)
• Italy
10 Jun 09
mmh i don't know really because it depends from tradition there and people that invited you to the wedding!I think may be you can give something more,not much,if you take your 2 kids too...seeing that normally you give 300$ if you can in two!!In reality i am not really experienced about it..so i just suppose that..
@regal_aeros (2605)
• Singapore
10 Jun 09
well.
i normally pay for my seat. Meaning if each table costs around $500, with 10 people sharing a table. Each seat is $50. So i'd pay $50.
However, if i'm very close to the bride or bridge groom, i would give anything more than $50. Perhaps $100 (per person).
For your case, because you are bringing kids, ideally it would be best to pay for both their seats too. Taking my calculation ($50 per seat), that would be $200 for your entire family. =)
@chriswolf (360)
• China
10 Jun 09
I guess this depends on the tradition of your city and how good your relationship is.
In my city, it is very common to bring children to dinner withour paying anything.
Above all, you have to get someone to babysit your children if you don't bring them with you. So I suppose the host will understand that.
Just take it easy.
@leyisa (486)
• Canada
10 Jun 09
Hi Chriswolf - the Bride is a very good friend of mine and i'm also in the wedding party. I'm not sure that there really is a tradition here (in canada). As long as you cover your plate and perhaps give a little extra for a gift, then it's ok....It's just confusing b/c with the kdis coming, I'm hoping that I dont have to pay for them as well...
@doggyhouz (548)
• United States
11 Jun 09
I was taugh when ur invted to the wedding and dinner you try to give the amount it cost them to feed ur party. And additional as well as the real gift and thankyou for allowing u to share this happy moment with them.
@rdadey (484)
• Canada
10 Jun 09
Give what you normally do, if you change it once then you will be questioning whether to change it again for some other reason. It even covers your rear end in a way, because if two brides ever got together and compared their gifts and one said she got $300 from you and the other $400...well you know how that story ends. $300 is a generous gift and is plenty in my opinion. Sticking to the one price will be less stressful.
@cathy78513 (283)
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
For me it depends on how close I am to the couple. If they invited me eventhough we're just acquaintance I don't think I have to give a pricey gift. If they are my sisters or my best buds in college, I'd probably give more. With the ecomomic depression everyone's experiencing right now I think it's that thought that will really count.
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
10 Jun 09
Saying about weddings really make me heartache... My husband's company co-workers had been sending wedding invitations to my husband every month (sometimes even 2 - 3 a month) for the past 6 months, until we are very scared...
As for your case, it's really up to you how much you will like to give. If you do think thet $300 is fine, go ahead and give $300 to the couple. As you mentioned, you don't really think that your kid will really eat a lot...
@expressnature (265)
• India
10 Jun 09
The money you give not depends on the number of persons. Anyway as usual if you give $300,it is not wrong to give extra money. It's your own wish to give money to marriage. Also no one will ask you why you are giving this much money. If you feel to give money for your babies, you give or else give the same $300.
