What to do, advice pls....
@charlenmendoza (922)
Philippines
June 10, 2009 5:42am CST
its a story of someone near to me, she have a boyfriend that she don't know if the relationship is true or not. she dont know what is her boyfriend plan for them. no talks about the future. its been 8 months but never talked about them.
does she need to move on or wait until the time he talks about their future. they are not young anymore. their on their late 30's
4 responses
@bluishrose (2289)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
I think its too early to talk about the future because its just 8 months only. Though they are in their late 30's maybe the guy is still not in a rush to have a family. Is the guy been married before? Is the couple stable already? maybe the guy wants evrything to fall in place before settling or talk about the future. Better yet to have a peace of mind brought out the topic in a nice way without scaring him off. Its always nice to be open with each other.
@bluishrose (2289)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
If that's the case maybe she should start thinking about herself. But honestly if she really love the guy maybe she should work on persuading him to have a family. On our first year of my boyfriend till the second year we never talk about that topic. I also wondered where are we going but thinking about his past (he's annnulled) i should give him more time. were on our 3rd yr and its just now that he started about talking and planning about our future.
@charlenmendoza (922)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
the girl started asking actually i think just recently. She started saying like, what is your plan today, tomorrow or the future? she never specifically asked about their future. And he said nothing, i want to stay this way forever. Maybe he didnt mean it but what about her happiness, what about her dreams, what about the wants and love of having a family, a husband and kids.
@charlenmendoza (922)
• Philippines
15 Jun 09
Congratulations that your relationship is successful. I just hope that everything will be lucky just like you. but we know that some are lucky, some are not. i wish you all the best in life.
@jayrene (2708)
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
i think she should discuss this with her boyfriend. she should open up, and tell him what's in her mind. maybe he's also waiting for her to open up about it... she will not know if she will not ask. i think there is nothing wrong to it if the girl will make the first move in talking about their future. if when she had done that and her boy friend dont want to get married yet, and your girlfriend wants to have a family of her own, then i think she move on with her life and find someone who will want to share the future with her and start a family of their own.
@charlenmendoza (922)
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
she already talked to him so many times. they been on for almost a year and she asked him about his plan. he said nothing. he dont have any plan. he always as long as we love each other and thats it. nothing about family, nothing about kids. its always love.
@jayrene (2708)
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
if that's the case and if that's not what your friend wants, then i think she should just end the relationship. she will no be happy with it knowing that she wants a family and he on the other hand have no plans for it. i think it is best for her that she finds somebody else who will love her more and make her happy.
@regal_aeros (2605)
• Singapore
10 Jun 09
what about asking her to broach the topic?
Perhaps he is also having a hard time trying to talk to her about their future plans?
I mean, since your friend is of marriageable age,i think she would want to move on if this partner doesn't want to settle down am i right?
And since he is not indicating anything, perhaps she could make the first move. =)
@charlenmendoza (922)
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
so if your a guy and i tell you, i was thinking of breaking up with you because i think you dont have any plans for us and im not getting any younger, i love you but i want a family of my own. How would you feel? its like i dont love him that much that i cannot wait for him, for the time that he is ready.
@elghrasya (501)
• Philippines
11 Jun 09
Maybe his boyfriend wants to be sure if she is the right girl for him. And maybe he is not yet prepared to get married because of the budget. Just wait tell that to your friend and if she cant wait then make a move. Ask her boyfriend about the things she wanted to know.
@charlenmendoza (922)
• Philippines
11 Jun 09
is there a timelimit for waiting. Is it 9months enough for waiting? i mean anybody who are into a relationship at the right age, let say 35, do you have to wait more than a year for you to say she is the right girl.
I actually said and all of our friends said move on because we think that there is no future. We heard it so many time my friend asking him about their future but no answer.
thanks for the replies
