My teenage son will not listen

Well, if he's grounded indefinitely for the time being, I would sure come up with some fun chores for him. Something I can follow through with. I might even go as far as making a list of his last three or four transgressions, put a reward next to it, and on a day when your off, give him the first one, but make sure you can pull up a chair and supervise him doing it. I'd go so far as having a nice cool drink handy and a magazine to read. Be prepared for whining, bellyaching, dragging out the chore. It's true, you cannot exhort your will over his, you can't make him stop lying, and stuff like that; But you can sure apply some nifty consequences for the behavior. Just don't apply consequences thinking it's going to modify his behavior because the chances are it won't. You said, and I quote 'I try to talk to him all the time. he knows what to say to make me think he will do the right thing but yet he does the opposite.' [i][/i][u][/u] That is the sign of a manipulator, I know because my oldest had it down to an art form. They know just what to say and how to say it to get what they want in that particular moment, giving no thought to the consequences. Take a lawn chair outside and relax while he's cleaning the gutters (If you have gutters that is) There are all kinds of ways to get even with them for being snots without abusing them in anyway. Only have him do these chores when you are there with him. He's going to want to negotiate, you need to smile, listen to what he has to say, then hand him the toilet brush. Hug him and tell him you love him, then escort him to the linens and tell him it's time to change all the bed linens and make up everyone's beds. grab some suntan lotion, your straw hat and work on your tan while he's scrubbing out all the garbage cans in the house, including the yard can. Lets not forget the flower-beds that need weeding. And remember, it isn't going to modify his behavior, but it is going to give you a sense of satisfaction. Also, make sure you're home when he comes off his grounding. He's going to want to go somewhere, follow-up behind him, don't really expect him to go where he tells you he's going. If he goes there; fine and good. If he doesn't, have a nice reward waiting for him when he gets home.[i][/i] like mopping the kitchen floor. Also, don't expect perfection when you give him these chores. Their way of thinking is, 'if I slop through this, she'll get aggravated, do it herself and I can go do what I want to do' It isn't necessarily doing the chore to perfection, but more perfecting the discomfort from the chore. Now if your son is disrespectful, aggressive, belligerent, and 'in your face disobedient' you're not going to be able to go this route. In that case I don't know what to tell you. I always told mine, if they bowed-up at me, or ever drew back at me, they better kill me because I had a cast-iron frying pan that I would not hesitate to use. Of course I wouldn't have, but they didn't know that lol. [i][/i]

I have got a 16 year old daughter and a 17 year old daughter who both have the same attitude as your son.We tried grounding we tried not letting her stay at her friends as she was walking the streets early hours one morning on her own.In the end i had to think what i was doing when i was her age and in the end i found that she was getting to hate me as all her friends were getting invited to places etc and she was loosing her friends which was making her so sad it was unbareable to see.I sat my 16 year old down and i told her if i trust her and she lets me down once that would be her lot and she could live with her dad.She is never to walk the roads /streets on her own,she must never get in to trouble with the police and all the time to keep me informed of her movements and if she is going to stay at a friends i want to speak to the parent of that friend.She used to lie all the time to me now as far as i know she is not telling lies anymore.If his friends are allowed he look at you and think it is you being nasty not letting him do the same.My daughters and myself have a better bond now and im more like a mum and afriend now to them than just the mum.

I have 5 children. I wasn't sure I wanted to keep them when they turned into teenagers from those sweet children they were before. However, that was not an option, so I muddled through. My main strategy was to make our home teenager friendly. I fed their friends and made them feel as welcome as I could. I think it helped. No strategy will give you smooth sailing, you just have to do what you can and pray they'll come out of this time without completely messing up your life. Try to remain calm and keep repeating yourself, because they usually come around eventually.

I believe that being a bit rebellious is normal to teenagers. This is the stage in their life wherein they want more freedon...and they gain more confidence in their thoughs and decisions. I would'nt want to tell you to leave him make and learn from his mistakes. However, allowing him to learn (and hopefully not the hardway) is an option. I don't have a son of that age, but my younger brother is a year older than your son...and he is also driving the whole family crazy. He won't listen to me, since I am only a sibling...and my mom can't control him too. If only my father is still alive, maybe he'll realize that there's someone in the house that has authority. But you know what? A lot of times, it helps to make him realize the consequences of his actions. And he is not someone who has a lot of pride... those times, he'll always accept his faults and apologize. I suggest you have a mother and son talk. I am not sure how bad the situation is... but helping him see the consequences instead of nagging and preventing him from learning from his mistakes might not help much. Just a thought though...