For once I'd just like to worry about myself, is that so bad?

Exactly, I can't think of much of anything they have done to try to solve any problem we have... and that's probably because we don't go to them whining and crying about our issues, we deal with them ourselves! Here's an example that comes to mind. Lots of ppl were getting laid off at my company the past few years and I was worried. Every time we talked about it with them they were like 'oh'. That was about it! I really think that they think we are well off or something or that our problems aren't as big as theirs. But guess what - we might own a house and 2 cars, but if one of us gets laid off we'll be struggling. The problem is really they don't see all the hard work we do to support ourselves, they only see what we HAVE that they don't have. So since we have stuff, we must be fine and no worries, right? Yeah I wish!

Yep people perceive you however they want to and no matter what you say, they won't believe you are having it rough. People like that think that if you make 2$ more than they do, then you are way better off. What I don't like is when people act like we are lucky for being able to take a vacation now and then or buy something to. It's not luck! It's hard work, budgeting, sacrifice and planning. I take every major trip and every major purhase very seriously and do what I can (even mylot - lol) to earn a few extra pennies, dollars, etc. Yet others sit on their butt all day and wonder why they can't go on vacation.

same thing here... we already lost our business, we dont have that much monthly income, and still people think we have loads and loads of money, and even if i explain to them our situation, others are having a hard time believing it...

That is the perfect phrase "carry someone else's burdens". That is what it feels like! As if all their troubles are on our shoulders. It's just hard when it's family and they pretty much expect your help. On the one hand, we usually offer advice more than anything else, but on the other hand, even advice can get tiring and taxing over time. Sometimes I think we should just stop answering the phone for awhile and tell them they need to figure it out on their own. Sure they might get mad, but if they are so mad that they don't want to talk to us anymore, than that would just show how selfish they are!

Better for them not to talk to us anymore then for us to worry about them babbling over and over again about their pity problems. This goes with either family or friends. I'm not Christian or a religious person but even it makes sense that even in the Bible it says the same thing that people should be responsible for their own issues and carry their own burdens. Makes sense for those people that lack developing endurance on their part through their troubled times.

Yeah if only I could convince my husband that he'd be happier dealing with the "guilt trip" from them then dealing with all the stress of their problems and feeling like we need to do something when we really can't do anything to fix it! Thanks for agreeing with me :) Sometimes it feels good just to whine!!!

I like this sentance here: Dependent people will always find someone to help them. You know what, that is true! There were times where people hinted about how we could help them (based on what they thought about or lives) but we weren't falling for it. And yet they always manage to get by. They complain to us and want from us, but then they have other friends, or shelters, or government that helps them out. Heck, they know more about getting things from the goverment than I ever would know! I'm amazed how many people I know that get a ton of free stuff and don't even have to work. Sometimes I worry about letting everything go b/c I worry that if I stop thinking about it then suddenly something even worse will happen and we'll somehow get screwed down the line. I guess my ultimate worry always comes down to - will they be causing MORE trouble for us down the line? We have a vacation in a little over a week :) I cannot wait! My husband and I did discuss that we need to just stop giving advice b/c they don't listen. If they want to whine, they can whine away, and at the end we can just change the subject. We just get frustrated when we give advice and no one takes it. Some people ask for advice and actually want to try, but other people just want us to fix their problems. I would never up and move away b/c there are too many people around here that I want to be near! I think it's just a matter of distancing ourselves and if they get mad, so be it. People seem to get mad either way - we get guilt trips if we aren't available enough but then also get guilt trips when we are actually really trying to help. So either way, it's not good enough. So the best thing to do is push them out of my mind and just concentrate on my life! My worrying about their problems really will do NOTHING.

Right. You can please one person all the time, all the persons at a time but its impossible to please all the person all the time.

Yes, I know exactly What you mean I found out that i seem to care about other peoples problems more then i even do my own and thats one of the worst things you can do beacuse life shouldnt be about wanting to please others becuase its impossible to please every person that comes along your way so first you just need to love your self and take care of your problems first that way you wont be so frustrated when someone elce asks you for your help

It is selfish! I get tired of people blaming the world for their problems. Every time someone comes to me with a dire problem and expects me to "fix it", I can think of 10 things they did wrong that put them in that situation in the first place. AND lots of times I can remember warning them NOT to do certain things, but they of course didn't listen. Hence they got into the situation by ignoring my advice, and now suddenly they want me to fix it!