Never tell a peson who's experiencing deep sorrow, i know how you feel..

It's always difficult to know what to say in response to someone's sorrow. I've been in this situation, unfortunately too often this past year, and there are other things that you can say. "I'm so sorry." "Is there anything I can do for you?" And, sometimes a hug is the best that you can do.

The best way to comfort a person is just be there to lend an ear. It 's not neccessary telling them stuff like knowing how they feel, if you actually don't. However, generalizing..."never" to say this is different, they sometimes help. Howelse are you going to comfort them then?

I don't really agree with this, a lot of sorrow is feeling alone with your feelings, when someone realizes others around them have been there as well it can even bring them closer, we all need to know at times the bad times and sorrows we experience is not the first time in anyone has gone through this, if someone says they know through experience of what they are going through it can give them hope....

I usually try to just listen and be supportive. However I am not offended when someone tells me they know how I feel. I appreciate the fact that someone can understand when I'm in pain. Even if they haven't been through the exact same thing I have they can understand why I'm suffering. I do get upset if someone minimizes my feelings and says "oh, that's happened to me before. Its no big deal". I think the important thing is if the person is caring and understanding or just dismissing your feelings.

There's nothing wrong with saying "I know how you feel" as long as the tone of your voice is understanding, open, and non judging. It's the equivalent of saying "I relate to how you are feeling". We all have differing feelings, but at the same time when you are in distress, are upset or in grief, if you are reaching out, you want to know someone has been there and has felt it and survived. I just offer to listen, and then really listen to not only the words, but the persons pain and emotion. Sometimes, just that along and allowing them to vent and release helps.

When there is someone around me who is in deep sorrow and I have to comfort them then I am very careful in doing so because you can receive such answers very easily. So I just tell them that I have been in more or less the same situation if I have been and then I have succeeded in overcoming the obstacle because I cannot let temporary difficulties affect me all my life. I will tell them how brave they are and I am confident on that and all they need to understand is that there are people who want to see them happy and smile and who love them like me.

I cannot agree with you on that completely as even though we might have different intensity of feelings and pain we are all going through a hard time. When people say that i know how you feel when having hard times, it really gives me relief and i am sure that it does to others too. Everybody is different and we think different and looks at things in different ways but some principals remains the same when hurt or when happy.

It's true that it doesn't help much to tell the person in suffering that you know how he/she is going through. Rather I would share with the person on my own struggles, how I confronted my problems, how I triumphed over them. A kind listening ear is more important than giving advice or worse try to help them with your own understanding. Personally I'd encourage the person to be strong because suffering is a test of our faith, our strength, it's not necessary something bad, it can be something we can learn from it. When we overcome one, we've the confidence to face another, and through the process, we grow. So it's important to have friends who support and encourage one another, not friends who bring you out for drink or tell you to escape from your problems. Because it's ultimately the person's problem, the strength has to come from him/her to overcome it.

Hey, I have also heard the words 'I know how you feel' many times, but I just ignored it because I know that even though it is weel meant, it is actualy meaningless for the suffering person. We all want to help and engourage someone going through a situation and most of the time do not know what to say. I have gone through amny bad experiences where I neede encouragement and I found that the best encouragement I ever got was from people that said nothing. They just stood by my bed, maybe holding my hand, but they were just there, litening, not giving advice. Most of us know the answers to the questions we ask in hardship, so we don't want to hear it always, we just want to say what is on our mind. Sometimes the best thing to do for a person going through such times is to talk about other things in life, as if nothing is wrong.The person in the situation sometimes appreciate talking about things other than the problem. When the person wants to talk about the problem, never interfere to give answers, and only give answers when they specificully ask for it. We need to learn empathy, and move past sympathy. Empathy is putting yourself in their shoes and try to experience the pain they go through. I will be different but at least you would know what you would want if you were them. This is a very good discussion and I can go on for hours on this topic. Thanks for raising the issue. Blessings

hello charenmendoza that's so right , no one can feel the way others feel unless they are at the same situation at the same time have a good time

My usual response is: "My heart goes out to you. I've been in your place before." That kind of covers it for me...I don't want to suggest to them that I know how they feel, because we are assuming they are feeling the way we did in that situation..not everyone thinks and feels like we do, and it is wrong to assume that. I know I get irritated when people assume they know how I feel, because it is usually wrong. So I try not to do that with others.