Long before m modm died she quit wanting to go anywhere

My grandmother just passed away in January of this year at the age of 89. The last two or two and a half half years though she had to live in an assisted living facillity. Up until about six or seven months before she passed away she had her full mental capacity and all her wits about her. She had to go into assisted living because she had a really bad knee which caused her to fall. The last fall she didn't break anything but she was on the floor for a while before she could get to the phone and call for help. We were extremely close. I was closer to her than my own mother and I loved her and still do more than anything in the whole entire world. I always told her that if things got too difficult for her that I wanted her to come and live with me. But after the last fall my dad and uncle decided to have her go to assisted living and she agreed. When she was there though we took her out to family things as long as we possibly could and before she went there she was still driving and would come down to my house all the time. For the last eight or nine years of her life before she went into the assisted living place I would do all of her laundry because I didn't like her driving to town to go to the laundymat. It took some coaxing on my part because she always felt like she was bothering me or taking up too much of my time but I convinced her to let me do more for her. And I loved it when she brought laundry down here because then we would sit and talk and I would make her coffee and lunch or if it was later in the day she would stay for supper. She also liked the fact that I would hang her laundry on the washline at home. She always did that when she could because she loved the way things smelled after a day on the line in fresh air. I would also send leftover home with her or take them down to her so she would have stuff to eat but she was an excellent cook and did so up until she had to go to A.L. She was always there for me whenever I needed her and at times when I didn't realize I needed her or help she would be there to show me I did. I miss her so much, but I'm glad that up until right at the end she did go out and did enjoy things in life. I'm also so incredibly grateful that she gave me the opportunity to take care of her in some ways because like I said she always took care of me.

My husband goes up to his mom's place and helps with the property. She's still pretty active and comes down here and helps with the kids a lot. My dad is pretty independent too and my stepmother takes good care of him. He's too far away for regular visits, but we would go help it it were needed.

This conversation may be a little too close to home for me right now, but yes, I do my utmost to get my geriatric loved ones out and about. Sometimes that is not an easy thing to do, but it is always worth the effort. Anything less contributes to a downward spiral I think. Sorry to hear about your mom, but glad you had an uplifting experience on the road.

My Mother is 92 years of age. She loves to go places but has a hard time walking very much. When we are out, she uses her cane and holds my arm for support. She refuses to take a walker. But, at home, she uses a roller walker all the time. She loves to go out to eat but we don't do it too often. She's not a big eater, but still loves to go. Every time I take her to the DR, going out to eat is on the menu. Seems like her appetite is much better when she's out eating rather than at home where she doesn't eat all that much. She loves food, just not too much of it.

Of course my father is already 84 years old. I'm the one who supervise him taking a bath everyday. I washed his body with sponge and soap. He is weak now and his memory always falter. But I love him just the same.

yea i do take care of the elder and i am glad that you shared the story... i can see how it touched your heart... thank you for sharing dude

I wish I would have been there to witness that family too. We don't see that very much nowadays and it's a wonderful sight. I have to confess that due to the conditions with my in-laws we haven't been doing that many things together, and maybe we could just forget everything and start over. But some things take a bit longer to heal, specially big things like these. We do take hubby's aunt and my kids are quite attentive to her as they were to great grandma that lived with her and passed away last year.

My mom has become quite difficult getting in and out of the car and is in a wheel chair. I do take her over to the main part of the Manor so she can see people and go to programs, but I don't have the ablity to hold her up because of my fibromyalgia. Having said that, not even my brother or sister, who are stronger than I am, can manage mom alone any more. And it really doesn't matter that much, because she suffering from stroke related dementia, she does like to go out, but can't help us getting her out. We take her to my brother's when our sister is in town, but mostly we take her around the Manor because we don't have to get her out of and back into the wheel chair.

My grandmother is still alive which means that my children have a great grandmother even as they are into their early twenties. She isn't able to get out as much as she used to but she still is able to go to church occasionally and does family reunions and that kind of thing.

I think it depends on where you live. When I lived in the southwest the nursing homes were packed with old people warehoused there by their children and grandchildren. I know there were those that paid attention to their old ones and visited but but you rarely saw an infirm, elderly person out with their family. I'm back in the Midwest now, thank God. I see a lot of people like the family you describe. There are old people everywhere, with their families and riding around on nursing home buses going shopping. When my mom had to stay at a nursing home for physical rehab after breaking her pelvis, there were lots of visitors. When I drive by nursing homes here I often see families sitting out with their elders. Back in the Southwest, the parking lots were mostly empty even on the weekends. My mom will never see a nursing home in any capacity except emergency, like when she fell and needed more help than I could give. My brother and sister and I will take care of her. My grandparents were never put through that, either.

All of my grandparents are no longer with us. The only elder left in the family is my husband's grandmother. My husband does a lot of her, she lives 45 minutes away from us, so it is hard on him sometimes, and although he has 3 siblings it is him that goes to her when ever she needs something, his brother and sisters will go there occasionally if my husband gets over whelmed, but he actually has to get to the point of stress before they will take pitty on him and go. She does not like to go out very much. She never really has, so it has nothing to do with her age. She likes to go out to eat on occasion and just loves ham. So every so often we will go and pick her up and take her out to eat somewhere, but it has to be someplace the sells baked ham. We invite her to BBQ's and stuff like that, but she really does not enjoy that very much. Pretty much the only family functions she will come to are Thanksgiving at our house every year, and Christmas at my sister in laws. She really seems to enjoy those holidays, probably because there is ham at both, LOL. But everyone tries to get her out more, but she prefers to stay at home watching her shows.

I know it did your heart good to see that. IT would have mine. I don't have any elderly family left but i do have some friends that i check on.

Both of my parents are passed away now. Mother got to where she didn't want to go anywhere much before she came down with alzheimer's. She got to where she had to quit driving because she would get lost just about everywhere she went. I drove her to the beauty shop every week and I would take her different places. My sister and I both took turns taking her to the doctor. I would also run her errands for her. After she was bedridden, she couldn't go anywhere any more. The hairdresser would come to her. Also, the home health aides would come to give her her bath, etc. My sister and I both still continued to go get her medicine for her and run other errands for her. It's a shame that not many people will look after their elders the way the family you mentioned above did. Kathy.

My Dad is 87 and from April - Nov. works T-F 8 hrs and 1/2 day on Sat. He shows out-buildings for the Omish. Because he has this in his life, he keeps going. My mom 88 had double knee surgery last summer and complains because she can't do as much as she used to . it drives them crazy not to be able to physically do the things they feel need to be done without help. Last weekend they went to a motor home show, garage sale, and fair. I am currently avoiding going home for a visit because I know I CAN'T keep up with either one of them. It would bother my mom too much to see it. The family you saw was wonderful. You just don't see that anymore, Especially in the kids. There is so little respect and concern for the mature generation today.

I don't have any elders to look after, GG, but I understand what you are saying. I'm not that far from there myself.I have to admit that I've slowed down some, and my daughters help me out with some of the things when I need help. How refreshing your scenario is, especially in a time when elderly people are not always given the respect they've earned.