I didnt know going back to school would make me feel this way
By Honeywest
@Honeywest (60)
Canada
June 12, 2009 5:04pm CST
Today ended my first week back to school. After finding out that my employer is shutting their doors i made the decision to go back to school. This july I will be turning 51 and it scares the heck out of me to be making this change.
All week has been talking about study techniques and personality types. All very casual and light hearted. I was happy and thought wow, I like this. Today was the assesment (test) of the week. I have never felt more stupid in my whole life. I left that classroom today with a pit in my stomach and almost in tears. Apparently NOTHING sunk in. Terms, phrases, styles, none of the proper names came to mind. I just drew a blank. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. I knew my brain was gonna hurt, ive been out of school for over 30 some yrs!!! But this today, was a shocker for me. Please tell me there is hope!!!!!!
3 people like this
19 responses
@clutterbug (1051)
• United States
12 Jun 09
There is definitely hope, because you were there trying at least. I'm already 51, and you have more guts than me for going back to school. Just give it all some time to sink in, and try not to let it bother you too much. Life is one big learning process as you know. You'll probably be laughing about the situation very soon. Have something delicious to drink, and prop up your feet this weekend. I have done some things that I felt stupid about, and later wound up laughing for taking it all so serious. Hang in there kiddo! You'll do fine.
@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
12 Jun 09
Thanks clutterbug
Ive had so many changes in my life in the past 4 yrs I thought this would be nothing. But its affected me the most. Think ill take you up on that drink thing lol. Cheers
@technoobs (406)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
By the way you still have that years to prove your still on the go. At this time, there are a lot of opportunity you can grab before you have to end up for retirement though.
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
13 Jun 09
Hi and god morning Honeywest. I can imagine how you must feel. I also went back to school to make a new fresh start. But I was determent to make it. Now, this was some years ago and things change all the time, so are the school and its enviroment. And we, older girls
that have had a pretty god life in working place, have not been "tested" in years. So natural, the first test is scary and even if we are not stupid normaly, it shore feels like we are when we have the test in our hands
. Now, this was the first test you did after so many years away from school, I think you need some words of curigement. Do not give up. Just get back on that horse and ride again. In time you have adjust the new " school enviroment" and you will do fine.
that have had a pretty god life in working place, have not been "tested" in years. So natural, the first test is scary and even if we are not stupid normaly, it shore feels like we are when we have the test in our hands. Now, this was the first test you did after so many years away from school, I think you need some words of curigement. Do not give up. Just get back on that horse and ride again. In time you have adjust the new " school enviroment" and you will do fine.1 person likes this
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
13 Jun 09
Yes, of course venting issues and the best place for that is mylot. I know the first times of tests are frustrating. You are supose to tell what you have learned without help, books and so forth. So no wonder you got "blanked" the first time you take a test after so many years away from school. I will tell you, if I went back and did the same school today, I would probably be in your shoe, feel the same thing.
Sometimes, a peace of paper means nothing if you can not practice what you have learned. I see that all the time with students come for their practice period. I work as assistance nurse, and if you can not practice what you have learned that peace of paper they get, do not mean anything. I wish some employer coud realize that.
And then there are people who fit great for the job who do not have the diploma, and therefore have to go back to school to get it, just becouse as you pointed out, the employer demand it.
I hope you will find a way to make your way and let the time in School be a pleshure. ( eat god, sleep well and learn how to relax, and the tests will be a peace of cake, it worked for me)
I know the first times of tests are frustrating. You are supose to tell what you have learned without help, books and so forth. So no wonder you got "blanked" the first time you take a test after so many years away from school. I will tell you, if I went back and did the same school today, I would probably be in your shoe, feel the same thing.
Sometimes, a peace of paper means nothing if you can not practice what you have learned. I see that all the time with students come for their practice period. I work as assistance nurse, and if you can not practice what you have learned that peace of paper they get, do not mean anything. I wish some employer coud realize that.
And then there are people who fit great for the job who do not have the diploma, and therefore have to go back to school to get it, just becouse as you pointed out, the employer demand it.
I hope you will find a way to make your way and let the time in School be a pleshure. ( eat god, sleep well and learn how to relax, and the tests will be a peace of cake, it worked for me)@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
13 Jun 09
Thanks anetteh
It is hard to get back on that horse but I will do it. I have no choice lol. School is not cheap and I will not back down. Its that darn little piece of paper the employers want now. To get training on the job they can start you at such a low wage. But if you have that certificate or diploma the rate goes up. Thats when I decided I need that piece of paper. I have no intention of quiting, was just a frustrating day and I just had to vent! lol
@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
13 Jun 09
thanks for your great words and I really do think it helps to vent on here also lol
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
13 Jun 09
Of course there's hope, you just have to get into the swing of things. When I was in college we were advised to devote an hour of study every night to each subject. I also used a lot of different study techniques to get the information all the way into my head where I owned it. I used to like association when trying to recall terms and phrases. Flash cards are good, too, because once you know one of them you can put it aside so you can focus on the rest. Hang in there. I'm sure you're not the only student who had a rough end to the first week...and congrats on taking this step. 
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
13 Jun 09
I went to college when I was over 40 and I was a nervous wreck at first, worried that I wouldn't be able to learn (computers) and that I'd be an outsider, on my own, because of my age. I learned that, when you're in the same class trying to learn a subject, it doesn't matter how old you are...everyone has the same struggles and after a while, the age differece disappeared.
@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
13 Jun 09
Thanks spallodino
After having my little fit and writing about it, it seems alittle silly now lol. But at the time, it was so discouraging. Thanks for your suggestions!
@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
13 Jun 09
The computer this will be the challenge. I putz around at home, muddle through things. But in class I have to do it right and have assignments handed in on time. That is alittle intimidating. Kids know adays leave highschool knowing this stuff . I will show them you can teach an old dog new tricks lol
@jeoline (81)
• Canada
13 Jun 09
Hi Honeywest,
Don't lose faith. You've already said somewhere in your discussion that this isn't the first time that you've had to rebuild. That alone tells me that you have persistence and bounce back ability. You can achieve anything as long as you set your mind to it and are willing to do the necessary work. And it sure sounds to me like you are.
Just this past week my son graduated from college. While sitting in my seat at his graduation ceremony and as the graduates were walking across the stage one by one to receive their diplomas there was heard a loud call from from the audience..... "WAY TO GO, MOM!!" It actually brought tears to my eyes. What an example this woman was setting for her child letting her know by her actions that it's never too late to achieve your goals.
Congratulations on your courage and I wish you all the best in your studies and in your life.
@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
13 Jun 09
Thats a very encouraging story. I love to hear those kinds of things. I have discovered many things about myself in the last couple yrs and it turns out that I am a fighter. Ive never just folded. Thanks for your kind words
1 person likes this
@jakill (835)
•
13 Jun 09
It was such a good idea for you to put this discussion here. Just by reading through the responses so far, and your comments, I realise that you are already feeling better about this. This is where myLot can be so wonderfully helpful.
You have taken a momentous step and it cannot be easy. If it's important, those terms, phrases, styles, etc. will actually become common place to you with use. But I suspect they are not important anyway as you have learnt what they mean and will be able to use what you have learnt.
Also, don't forget that you have one advantage over younger students, and that is your years of life experience. All that time you have been learning about life and any academic learning has to be put into that context, which will be much easier for you than for someone just out of their teens, for example. When I went back to school at age 34 (a long time ago, and I ended up with a BA degree after starting with only three O levels) I soon found that what I got really excited about was making connections between what I was learning and what I already knew.
1 person likes this
@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
13 Jun 09
Im hoping I feel the same way. And maybe want to continue on. Hopefully my next employer will have a program for upgrading. I realize I will have to take a low starting position just because I wont have the experience, but after that, I hope to climb that corprate ladder!
@cbeee3 (2061)
• India
13 Jun 09
Of course there is hope! I have no doubt at all.
Do you know how special you are? How brave, to have decided to take the plunge and go back to school after about 30 years?
Not many will have the courage to do that.
You should be proud of yourself,because I sure am,even though I don't know you.
It is just going to take sometime getting used to, like everything else that is either new, or one has left for a while.
God bless you. Everything will be ok. Don't give up! :)
1 person likes this
@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
13 Jun 09
Thanks cbee3
I am proud of myself, I look back at what Ive accomplished and in the big picture this is just a little stumble. I will bounce back and get into the swing of things. Much appreciated!
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
13 Jun 09
Good for you for trying...and it might take a while to get back into the swing of things but if you set your mind that you can do it.....well you can! Part of your problem is probably a mental block...or nerves about going back in the first place! So I hope you stick with it! Good luck!
1 person likes this
@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
13 Jun 09
Thanks you jillhill
I definately will stick with it and hope it gets easier as I go. Having one of those days I guess lol. I actually had wobbley knee when I left today!
@ionsquare (530)
• Singapore
13 Jun 09
Hi, there is definitely hope in you. Since you made the very important decision to go back to school after thirty years, you have achieved hardest part. With persistence and hardwork, you will graduate from your studies. Time will do the work for you.
1 person likes this
@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
13 Jun 09
Thanks ionsquare
Its really great that you and all the others have been so encouraging
@Ruby722 (796)
• China
13 Jun 09
Even though i couldn't undertand how your feel.But i know it was a very sad situation.Everythings like brefore you knew it.Only you changed.i think i am maturer than my peer in some ways.I can see long and worried more. i can saw something inside.not only appearance.i am just 19years old.i know even now i am beautiful but who can assure in thirty years ? Everythin will be changed.everything will be out of our contorl.there is one thing we just do only enjoy everyday. Let it be
1 person likes this
@geniustiger (1694)
• Philippines
14 Jun 09
Honeywest good day to you. Back to school is somewhat
enjoying as I also still have classes during sundays
and I found out its happy like thinking those all times
when we are still young. I know education is unstoppable
or continueing process we grow and learn more as our
age got increased. First you are uneasy but later on you
are part of the group and you not think anymore that you are
older than your classmates they learn to become closer to you.
@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
14 Jun 09
Thanks geniustiger
yours and everyones kind words have reasured me that I have made the right decission and I will look forward to this new venture of mine.
@technoobs (406)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
Its no matter how old to go back to school. I am nearing my early 30s and had not yet finished my college degree. Then as planned, I am back in school for the first semester starting this June 15th. Learning is just a never ending process in ones life. That may be in terms of other ways to get the credit for what has to be learned.
1 person likes this
@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
13 Jun 09
Well, when the rest of the class is discussing study habits and I dont have any, I was soaking it all in. But today, test day, the technical terms blew me away. What happened to just studing lol
@wenjule (107)
• Jamaica
13 Jun 09
Yes there is hope Honeywest just keep the faith. For you to be going back to school at this point in your life when you should be planning for retirement there is hope. I went back to school too the other day after working for ten years and at first I felt out of place. Then after a while I began settling in when it finally dawned on me that I'm a student again. Give yourself time to adjust, this is just your first week.
Maybe you need now to find the best strategy to retain things you have learned. Maybe a daily review of what you did might help. Get the support of family and friends. Let them take part in helping you to review or help to take some of the chores off you when you get home in the evenings. Discuss your drawbacks with the lecturer to see if he/she can give you some tips.
One thing I would like to say however is, no matter how difficult it may seem never ever give up. Behind the dark cloud there is a silver lining. Kudos to you.
1 person likes this
@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
13 Jun 09
Thank you wenjule
Your words of encouragement mean alot. I am a fighter, this isnt the first time I've had to dig down and rebuild. Just really hit home today, how out of practise I really am. Thanks again
@flaky03 (225)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
Dont be appaled if you will be going back to school considering your age. Age doesnt matter and learning is part of our life. It is a great honor for someone to continue his or her studies despite the struggles and hardships in the past. Would you believe that here in the Philippines there a alot of individuals more than your age are interested to in back to school and pursue their studies because they believed that the greatest treasure in one's life is education and on one cant take that from us.
1 person likes this
@SinfulFox (135)
• United States
12 Jun 09
Don't worry! There is hope; like you said, you haven't been in a school environment for a pretty long time, so of course you're not going to be able to jump right back into the mind games. You could take the best neurosurgeon out there and have him go out of practice for 30 years, and I'm sure he'd be making mistakes too on his first surgery in so long. I'm sure you'll adjust and get back into the swing of things, just give it some time! It's only been a week.. :)
1 person likes this
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
13 Jun 09
going back to school.........
Hey honeywest, I just wanted to tell you there is hope. Just go back in there and hold your head up high. I decided to go back to school too after many years and things didn't go as I would have liked them to. Over all it was a good and bad experience but I learned a lot of things about myself. I'm sure that you will too. Sometimes we learn what we don't like. Since you've already started hang in there to the end and don't allow anything to talk you out of finishing up the course. You may not get all A's and "B's but at least you will get a good experience...... 
@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
14 Jun 09
Thanks Citychic
I will take it all in stride and do my best. Hopefully it will be easier as I go
@o0jopak0o (6394)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
well i have stopped for 2 years of schooling so i know a little how you feel. The adjustment is really hard from the start. But as you go through the days, youll get adjusted to it.
@charlenmendoza (922)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
It was just excitement, not fear. Excited that your back to school after so long and excited that you will learn new things. Excited that you will get a different ideas. Excited with the new environment, new set of people to talk to, excited about the future awaits after school. There will never an issue of age in regards to learning. Everybody are welcome in school, whether your young or old, whether your man or woman, gay or lesbian. This is for everybody.
@rdadey (484)
• Canada
13 Jun 09
I don't know what classes you'll be taking but don't worry, after a few days you won't feel the way you do now. All that assessing and testing they do is crap and only confusing. I went back to school when I was 39 and it was hell for a few days but after it was a piece of cake, things never really changed after all those years. In no time the young students were coming to me for help Just last year I enrolled in some online courses, man was that ever confusing...after a couple days of going over everything, t was ok...I soon found out though that when you do online with the college I did it with, you're on your own.
Perhaps you're a little anxious over the events with your employer and deciding to go back to school. I know plenty of people from online who have done it and they felt the same as you did...me too...you just need to not look at your age as a disadvantage, draw upon your experiences and use them to your advantage.
Now get off the internet and do some studying...lol!!!
@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
13 Jun 09
hahaha yes, i should do that!
My past job was a labour job in reforestation. I helped grow trees and then shipped them out to the tree plants.
Now i am taking administrative assistant course. Total different industry. Im not taking online courses so that for me is a plus. I need the hands on and guidance lol. BUt once I find a job, after complete for my diploma, i hope i will feel the need to keep learning and want to work hard and advance
@jules67 (2788)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
When I applied then as a customer service representative for a call center company, never in my mind that we would go back to discussions like studying the American language, memorizing the states and their capital. It was really mentally draining for me. I had a hard time having a recall of all those 50 states. Well, I guess the age had something to do with it. No matter how much we try to think that we still have that memory, we don't.
@Honeywest (60)
• Canada
13 Jun 09
I know, what we do everyday is easily retained. But how soon we forget those history classes and creative writing skills.
