When someone uses you as a reference (for a job). . .
By tiff1496
@tiff1496 (570)
United States
November 12, 2006 8:07am CST
Aren't they supposed to ask first?
This has happened to me on several occasions. The most recent was a friend who, during our conversation, said "oh by the way, I put your name down on my job app. as a reference." (I think most applications ask for a non-work related, non-family reference or something like that.)
Surprised, I just said "oh" and left it alone. I was always taught that if you wanted to use someone as a reference for a job, you ASKED that person first. I thought it was pretty presumptuous of this friend--and another--to just "use" me without asking first.
(FTR, the first friend who sent me a reference form--I just threw that away, as I had no idea that that friend was even LOOKING for a job. This one recently--their intended job never called anyway. But STILL!)
What do you think?
1 response
@hellparadiso (358)
• United States
12 Nov 06
Well, I don't think there's necessarily a hard and fast RULE declaring that you MUST ask permission before using someone as a reference, but it is considered polite and good business etiquette. For me, if someone calls about one of my friends, I like to have a little warning about it so I don't stumble over my words and sound like I'm lying. So what my friends and I have done is, we've all agreed that if someone asks for a non-professional, non-familial reference, we can use each other's names. Also, whenever I leave a job, I ALWAYS ask my supervisor if I can use his or her name as a reference for future applications. This has caused less embarrassment when I have to use someone for a reference that I haven't worked for in a few years.
