when some one dies
By saw2207
@saw2207 (1359)
United States
June 12, 2009 11:05pm CST
what words do you have for the family to express your condolences . . .Today my friends dad passed .. .I always fine it so hard as to what to say .. so I remembered something I had read about how a child helped someone .. and it went like this . . .
An elderly man who lived next door had lost his wife . . so to pay their respects, the boys mom took him next door to express their sympathy. The old man was sitting in the backyard and the boy ran over to him and sat in his lap, He sat there for quite a while. Later at home his mother asked him what he had said to the grieving man . . the little boy said to his mother . .
"Oh I didnt say anything...I just helped him cry."I think it is a beautiful story . .
Do you have anything to share about what you have or wish you said or did yo help someone mourn?
6 people like this
9 responses
@albert2412 (1782)
• United States
13 Jun 09
I am sorry to hear you are an orphan. I know waht it is like to be unwanted and unloved.
@marriedman111399 (1207)
• United States
13 Jun 09
I just tell them that I am sorry for you loss and if I knew the person I might bring up some good memories of him that I can remember. Also if the person was in alot of pain then I might say that he is in a better place now and he is in no more pain. I am sorry for your friends loss.
2 people like this
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
14 Jun 09
my dad passed away in early february and i remember a lot of people not knowing what to say. i think it is important just to be there and tell them how sorry you are. what people say in german is the best, basically, 'my heart hurts for you because of your loss' i think that says it quite well.
1 person likes this
@grammasnook (1871)
• United States
13 Jun 09
This lil guy has the right idea, sometimes words just do not do it but a hug to know they can release their pain is the best thing. Out of the mouths of babes and into the mind of an adult. Children teach us many things and we dont even realize it
1 person likes this
@grammasnook (1871)
• United States
13 Jun 09
oh and for your loss please accept this ((((((((((( hugs )))))))))))
1 person likes this
@sweetie1026 (1718)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
I know the feeling coz' two of my family had passed away already. My mom was the first a few years back, then my only sister last February. Yes, it is very difficult for us to console friends who have just lost loved ones. Nothing we say can lessen the pain they feel, so i think just being there for them helps a lot. Just let them know that you will always be beside them to support and always a shoulder to cry on.
@sweetie1026 (1718)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
Yes, just the presence of friends helps so much in times like these. No need for words because you know they are there because they care and love you. You are welcome and thank you too!
1 person likes this
@saw2207 (1359)
• United States
13 Jun 09
sweetie you certanly chose the right sn for yourself on here for you sure do sound like a real sweetie!
thank you so much for sharing with us here. I am sure it was hard losing both your mom and your sister especially in a short time.
Its nice to know that someone is there . . thanks again
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
14 Jun 09
sorry to hear your friend's lost
the story about the little boy is really nice and i agree...
sometimes we do not need a word to show our sympathy to someone, when we lost a word to show our feelings just a touch can make them feel how much we care for them and just be with them...a sincere action can deliver a thousand message...
and its really true that sometimes action speaks louder than words...
1 person likes this
@jezzmay (1845)
• United States
14 Jun 09
Sometimes it is best not to say anything.I let
them know that I am there for them.Then if they
want to talk you do not have to say anything.
I have a friend who just lost her husband of
30 years. I have no way of knowing what to
say I was only with mine for nine years.
@saw2207 (1359)
• United States
14 Jun 09
jezzmay .. I agree sometimes there just are no words. .. and that I think is the best time for a{{{{hug}}}} . for a hug can break down barriers that sometimes words can not do. At times it can speak more than any words can say . . The beauty of a hug is in its simplicity. A simple act of caring and kindness and it costs nothing!thanks for sharing and know I am sending you lots of &hearts&hearts's and{{{hugs}}}
@betlynfrnds (4069)
• United States
14 Jun 09
I am so sorry about your friend's loss. My thoughts are very similar to what young boy did in what you read - help the grieving ones cry. When my friends lose loved ones all I can say is "I'm very sorry about your loss". I give them a hug and cry with them. Later we bring up fun things about the person. Many times it's not what we say or struggle to say but the fact that we're there with them sharing in their sorrow. Sometimes, depending on the circumstances, bringing food or helping with chores and errands can really help the family. Their lives have been turned upside down and doing little things for them can be a real help.
@betlynfrnds (4069)
• United States
14 Jun 09
You are very welcome. I hope time begins to heal the pain for all of you soon.
@sugarfloss (2139)
• Malaysia
13 Jun 09
Hello saw2207. I lost a friend not too long ago and while we were waiting for post mortem, I didn't know what to say. I cried with them. But the brother did not cry but instead consoled us. I felt bad after that and stopped crying. We're all still sad cos it was really sudden.
@saw2207 (1359)
• United States
13 Jun 09
sugarfloss,....so sorry to hear about your friend. . . sometimes life just sucks. Just being there I bet helped the brother. . .it is from friends we find the strenght and desire to go on. It is always nice and important to know people have compassion and love for the ones left behind.....
I will say a little prayer tonight and remember your friend..
Happy Lotting and Peace be with you
1 person likes this
