Raising a teen girl and dealing with outside influences

I don't have a teen daughter but I was one. The main thing is to keep the lines of communication open so if she needs your help she isn't afraid to come to you.She knows what you can or can't do? Does she have the morals you gave her right and a good head on her shoulders/ Then she'll be okay. But I know you being a great mother, you are going to worry until the day you die.All I can say is try not to worry Too much.

I am not a mother of teenagers, and I have awhile to go. But oneday, this will eventually apply to me. As a young mother and wife, I know how it is to get smoothered by a single parent ( it doesnt have to be a single parent). I was the oldest of three kids and I also wanted to have fun and often a lot of times I was careless, fearless, and hardheaded, but in order to learn from mistakes we have to make them. This where parents step in, you think about what mistakes you are willing to let your child make. I do not believe in too much freedom. I do believe you should know your childs friends especially the ones they leave the house with. Sit down and talk to your daughter. Don't increminate her, but talk to her like a concerned parent who cares about what your child values and what goes on in her life. As parents we want the best for our kids but at the same time you want them to be smart in all areas, so when a situation arise they will be prepared and won't be vulnerable. But I do believe you should set limits. The most important thing is to talk to your child. Become her friend. As females we go through so much and we know whats out there and we know the impossible and we want to protect them, but just become her friend and try not to be too strict, but give enough freedom to let them know you care about them. And congratulations on her scholarship;-)

Girls are quite difficult in their teens. They think they're all grown up, and yet, they are still influenced greatly by what goes on about them in the big, wide world. However, at sixteen, you shouldn't be "controlling" who she chooses to see. Yes, keep some control over what time she has to be back in and by whom she's accompanied when she goes out, even if it's you, and I would be very careful about facebook. There's a lot going on in facebook that could be potentially harmful, so perhaps befriend her in there. The thing is, the more you try to tell her who to "hang out" with, the more she's going to want to test unknown waters, as she thinks she's old enough to make her own decisions now. In the eyes of the civil rights law here, in Britain, sixteen is old enough to work, sleep over where you want, and even leave home, if that be your choice, so it's a very difficult age. I feel it's better to befriend them, show an interest in what they do, encourage them to talk to you when they have a problem, and stay calm when it's bad, etc., whilst allowing them a little more freedom than normal. She will appreciate it, rather than getting into trouble for trying to test something out which you forbade her to do. Brightest Blessings, my friend.

As a Young Adult Female. Being that im only 23 Years old. I'll tell you what i did. My mother never let me go out or anything when i was younger and trust me you dont want to control who she talks to or hangs out with that will cause a problem in the long run. Because my mother did it to me and now we barely talk and as soon as i hit 18 i went WILD. So you dont want to be a control freak.Yes there are standerds and things that they shouldnt do but she will ONLY learn if you let her make her own mistakes and learn the hard way. Thats most teens now they have to learn the hard way in order to understand and respect what you tell them. IF not its revenage in the long run. My Father is very much racist however my mother isnt far from it either but I MYSELF know its wrong and im not. But being 16 is a hard year for a girl but i wouldnt make her feel as if shes in jail. My cusions arent they best and got me in a lot of trouble when i was younger but i learned from my mistakes and now know what we was doing was wrong. I say let her live and learn.

Hi miamilady, All I can say is try not to stress too much. Having said that, I have a daughter who will be 16 in a couple of weeks so I know how much easier that is to say than it is to do. Every teenager thinks that they are all grown up and wants to control their own life. They don't yet know or understand the dangers of the world. But not giving a teenager some freedom usually causes them to feel rebellious. My best advice to you would be to get to know her friends. Make sure that they feel comfortable enough to want to hang out at your home. Even if they get a little rowdy at least you know where they are and what they're doing. My daughter's friends know that they can come to me if they need help and I treat them like they were my own. So, even my own daughter would rather not be hanging out at home, as long as friends think it's a cool place to be she's o.k. with it. I would also suggest getting to know the parents of her friends. I have become close friends with some of my daughter's friends' parents. This way I know what kind of upbringing her friends have had and what kind of morals have been instilled in them. This gives me a whole other level of comfort when she's at her friends' homes. If I don't have a good feeling about a friend's home life I just don't allow her to go that home. However, I don't just give her a blatant "no". More likely I would make up a reason why they should spend time at my home instead. Maybe I would ask them to help me out with something or I might tell them that I made them a special treat because I thought they were going to be hanging out at our place. But I don't start arguments with her. That's pointless. Hope that's somewhat helpful. I know we all could use a little help in trying to raise a teenager.

As a teen girl myself i would say do not give her too much freedom, but also do not smother her. if let have her own way then restricted, she will go off the rails. it is very important to keep the balance between pals and discipline when dealing with teenage girls as if they are given an inch- they will take a mile!

I think it depends entirely on the teen. My mother knows nothing about computers, and has not learned how to use the internet. The household computer was MY computer, and I even had a room with a door that I could CLOSE (not because I wanted to hide anything, but because I didn't want to put up with outside noise. Mom knew that I was not going to allow other people to influence me, so she let me do "whatever I wanted." She knew I woudln't get into trouble, and I didn't.

I think teens need to be kept busy. Join them up into clubs for things they are interested in sports or music and such. Invite their close friends round and get to know the parents too. Have rules and stick to them...make sure your teen knows the rules and agrees with them. Basically, know where they are and who they are with at all times. This way, if something goes wrong you will be better able to cope and more in control.

Just the other day it was the same thing but with a young man. I had a teen daughter and guardianship of one as well. You really have to go with your first gut instincts. If she is old enough then you give her pretty full rein. One good book to read is one from the philosophy of love and logic. It can be found on Amazon.com. The site is www.loveandlogic.com. It is great stuff! If you have a good relationship and she has a good foundation then there shouldn't be a problem.

I don't envy you! I've done that six times now and I will tell you unequivocally, boys are MUCH easier to raise through that period of time than girls. The best advice I can give is that a child will live up to the trust you have in them. The trick is to provide guidance without forcing compliance. All kids will make mistakes, you just need to provide the support to minimize them.

I don't have a teen daughter but I do have a teen sister. Daughters are more precious. And I think you raised your daughter very well and i have to congratulate you on that for being a good parent to her. Giving her freedom will earn you more respect. Just be there to give advice and listen and understand her. That's the best thing you can do for her. Her adventure is just starting. She will be the one to finish the race alone...your duty is to watch in the sideline.

WELL I have A 17 yr old daughter and she had put me through hell for a few years. But finally we get along and have a good relationship!! The freedom you give your daughter will be determined by the amount of trust you have in one another.

Well, I have kids and they aren't there yet, but I was a teen myself. Giving her freedom is not a bad thing as long as you've taught her how to make the right decisions. She will make some wrong and some right, but if she isnt allowed to make the decisions for herself she won't be prepared for adulthood. There will probably be a time or two when she gets herself in trouble and makes a mistake, but she will learn from them and that's a good thing for her to go through while she's still a teenager. If she's sheltered and goes off to college you'll want her to have the experience. If she doesn't it will be much worse for her.

hi miamilady, i have a son and he is just 2 years old. But i do have an experience raising a teenage girl.I have a stepdaughter, and yes they are fearless,always on the go and never listens. I let my husband deal with her. he is her daughter anyway.he set rules in the house. My husband said, "since you are living with me you have to submit with the rules, you can do what you want when you are earning your own money, paying your own bills and have your own place". and it was stricly enforced. Whe she got 18 and she got a job stop school and started to go out late and never say a word she is, my husband told her its time to move if she wants to stay that way. You cannot force anything to an adults, they have their own mind and they need to decide for their own and let them experience what they need to experience that way they will learn how hard it is to have a responsibility.

Nope, I no longer have a teen daughter, my daughter is now in college, but I have experienced much and there are some things teens go thru that are common. I think the majority of teens are fearless and a tad reckless...those raging hormones and that exploding growth curve at times have them at their mercy. One of things that I did when she was growing up was to keep her busy...find out what she likes the most and go the extra mile to allow her to indulge in that passion. For instance my daughter loved dance, so she was enrolled in dance programs, we took dance related trips etc. Your daughter or someones son could be interested in tennis, bowling, art, volunteer projects or so on...find the programs that are available and enroll and support them in it. Follow your gut, that fearlessness that teens seem to have in an enormous abundance at times can lead them into compromising situation...never be afraid to say 'NO' and let her know why. Never stop talking to her, they need this and although they may appear not to be listening, when they make those right decision you will know that they were. She's only sixteen, now although these young people live in a different world from the one we were raised in, it's best that we learn about theirs so that we can respond knowledgeably to there questions, issues and concerns. Sixteen is still very young, she has loads n loads to learn. I don't believe in a child learning by their mistakes, I wouldn't risk my daughter's well being on that ridiculous assumption. Share some of the mistakes and missteps that you have made and situations others that you know have fallen prey to...she will hear you and it will make a difference. Always let her know how much you love her, just how proud you are of her and that alone will strengthen your relationship with her.

Good day... I think raising teenagers in this time would be really be difficult I mean with the state of the world and morally of some people would really affect how they grow but with proper and ever vigilant care I think we can have a fighting chance.