The truth about motherhood

It was never a shame to admit that most of the time we're not able to do all responsibilities as a mother to our kids. I had been a mother of one and I will say that during the time she was stilll living I had many days of skipping bath. Not once but I say its like 3 times in a week. I had so many things on hand plus the special care I should give her since she was very much sick. Many times I serve leftovers to my siblings since their just young ones by then and I am standing as their parent. They go to school without eating breakfast sometimes because I have to take care of my daughter before I can cook a meal. Not able to do things for our children at times is nothing to be ashame off, the reaility is we are just humans and we can only do things 1 at a time. We can only do so much if we have more body and hands.

Nobodys is perfect so even if I try to be one, it is really impossible. But I am doing my best for my kid. I am giving her the best that I could. Sure there will be times that you will run out of patience but I tried my best not to say anything bad to my kid though sometimes those word slipped thru my mouth. But whenever I scold her, I axplain to her that I got mad because what she did was wrong and I always apologize. But as much as possible I try not to get angry not only with my kid but to everybody. It's just good enough to think that I didn't hert anybody's feelings. I try to be more tolerant and more understanding. If they did me wrong and it's not that big deal, I will just not mind it. I just let them know that it is wrong and that's it. Happy my lotting to you! God bless.

Careful hon. Sounds like you are surrounded by a bunch of Stepford Wives. I'm glad I don't live there. I can't stand people who are pretentious. I'm a "ptsa mom" but I've been guilty of all the things you've mentioned. The women you mentioned are either liars, have housekeepers and PLENTY of help, or their neurotic. PLEASE don't become one of them! lol I'm no super-mom that's for sure, and I readily admit it. I came across a book title and I've been wanting to buy this book, but haven't been able to get it yet. It's called "confessions of a slacker mom" I believe. It's supposed to be pretty funny. You're neighbors really need to lighten up.

My oldest daughter used to get upset with me because I didn't sound excited enough when she brought a good grade home from school. She always brought home good grades and of course I praised her, but it wasn't a reason to have an all out celebration. I admit after a number of complaints I kind of got ticked off about it. I was always there for her and she didn't lack for attention. Like you, I tell my kids I love them all the time. I don't care who is around to hear it. "I went through hell to have you and by god, I'll say I love you whenever I please! Just be thankful I'm a forgiving person." Okay, call me a mean bad mother but my standard answer for when they say all they've done and how much I owe them is: "I gave birth to you. Top that." I'm there when they need me. If they have a problem they can talk to me without my being judgmental or suspicious (my mother would accuse me of things just for asking a question). I don't coddle them but I treat them fairly.

im not a super mom myself but what i do know is that i try to be real all the time, and i try my best to do my bestest best..well you know what i mean... of course i'm not perfect , at least not all the time, but all i can say is that, no one will care for my kid more than me... no one else... except my for my own mom of course who loves her grandkid so much as much as i do... and i think that's something i have to be proud of for myself. even if no body cares ;)

im not a supermom either... i try my best to do what is right for my kids... make them learn things on their own, i seldom help in their homeworks, i only do that when i think it is very hard for them... while i see other parents, they do their kids homeowork... i would spank my kids if need be, when all the other kinds of my disciplining technique dont work, spanking is the last option. i have told them when i've had enough, that they can move out here and stay with their grandparents or aunts if they like... i always do my best to show them i love them, and make them understand how hard it is to be a mom, deaf, no work... and if they do good, behave and be just be good kids, rewards are always there, praises, kisses, hugs...

I used to think my mother was super mom because she used to work two jobs and she always managed to do a lot of things for us, but as I got older I saw things in a completely different way. She left my grandmother to take care of us, and my grandmother cooked, cleaned, and did just about everything. I would hope to be that way for my kids, but I know that I might not be. No mother or father is perfect, in fact, most parents are always doing other things and they cannot afford everything for their child. You are by no means a bad mother, you just get tired. All parents get worn out, it is only natural. I know I would if I were a mom.

I was wanting to follow your link and read up on the piece you mentioned but it would not load for me. I will try again later.

Just 50 years ago mom's didn't have to be "super mom's" Mom was just super if she made sure her children were healthy, clean, went to school, did their homework, brushed their teeth and had good manners. There was no PTA, science projects, school carnival to bake 100 cup cakes for, scoccer practice, dance lessons, music lessons etc to get to. There was also no I-Pod, game systems, computers, gotta have latest clothing brands. Children wore their sibling's hand me downs, ate leftovers without question and only got new clothes for their birthday or Christmas and were thankful they had something new. Mom's had extended family to help with raising children. I wore my brothers hand-me-downs or home made clothes my grandmother made on her foot peddle sewing machine. I don't remember shopping for new clothes till I was 6 and entering first grade then it was only one or two dresses at the start of each new school year. Birthdays in our house were not held at Chuck-E-Cheese and gifts were focused on things we needed rather then gadgets or latest fashions. I had one birthday party when I turned 10. Other then that my mom would fix my favorite meal and we would have home made birthday cake for dessert. In my late teen years my parents would take me out for a nice meal at a restaurant and shopping for just one new outfit from JCPenny. If we wanted something special we had to earn all or most of the money by doing chores at home or small jobs for the neighbors. I gave my own children what they needed and very little of what they wanted. Our house didn't have cable TV, internet or cell phones. All the TV's in the house were cast offs from other people..... still are. My daughter didn't get a cell phone till she was 16 and even then it was a prepaid one given to her by a family friend who felt she needed one for safety. We gave a limited amount towards her phone as rewards for doing chores or getting good grades, other then that she had to buy her own minutes. My son was hard on shoes, dragging his feet and wearing holes in them before he outgrew them. When he wanted some special shoes with an athlete's name on them I told him if he could keep a pair of shoes in good shape till he outgrew them we would pay half the cost of the special sneekers he wanted. He was a fast grower especially his feet so he he needed new shoes quite often but most of the time they would wear out even faster. It took him two years to figure out how to not tear up his shoes. We kept our word and helped buy one pair of $100 shoes.... He found out they looked good but didn't get to enjoy them long as he out grew them in just a few months and didn't hold up much better then cheeper brands anyway....... He soon asked if he could have an extra pare of Payless shoes instead of one pair of fancy ones. They had daily chores and helped fix meals. I was more generous then my parents when it came to birthdays but because we instilled good values in them and they understood the value of a dollar they didn't ask for anything extravagant or asked for $ towards something special and saved up for it. I took advantage of the school breakfast and they helped serve breakfast at school to get seconds. Not because we couldn't afford to feed them but they liked having breakfast with their friends. This was one way to get them moving and out the door on time. Once when my son was in 2nd grade and outgrowing his clothes faster then we could buy new and because he was growing so fast he would get hungry and was always eating. He would sneek biscuits or fruit into his back pack and eat in the classroom. A teacher at the school thought something must be wrong at home just because he had tight fitting clothes and was bringing food with him. We got a home visit from DPCFS.... Our home was a bit cluttered but clean. Fridge and cupboards full of food.... and new clothing bought for my son just two weeks before with the tags still on as he had a growth spurt right after we bought them and we were going to return them for a larger size..... No they didn't always get a full bath everyday but were required to wash up and brush their teeth everyday. When they came home from school that day they told me the social worker had been at the school too. She got the same accounting of daily life from my children and gave me a call the next day to tell me keep up the good work and wished all her calls turned out to be false alarms and closed the case. Hat's off to mom's who struggle to give their children what they need. My children are grown now 19 & 22 years old. They spend their money wisely and are happy to refurbish a second had item rather then pay full price for new.

"Super-moms" aren't telling the whole truth. I don't care who they are or what they claim, they're ALL human and humans will go into overload or meltdown if they try to do too much for too long. They're either in denial or they simply want everyone to think that they're super-human and can do it all... WITH a smile on their faces! Well, either that or they're androids! The part about these self-proclaimed "super moms" that scares me so badly is that they are creating bigger-than-life expectations for their children! If their children grow up and realize they can't do it all, the way Mom did, they'll feel like failures! I think it's much healthier, for the moms and for the kids, if mothers can show their children that they are NOT infallible! You should read a book written by Erma Bombeck entitled, "Life is What Happens When You're Busy Making Other Plans." It's hysterically funny and SO TRUE! There's also a video, a one-hour "standup" (actually he sits through most of it) by Bill Cosby entitled "Bill Cosby, Himself" which shows parenthood like it REALLY is. And it, too, is hysterically funny. When I first saw it, my kids were young and I could identify so well with everything he was saying! Most of this show is about parenthood and it made me feel so darned NORMAL! LOL We had "leftover night", too. We also had "pizza night", usually Friday, the night after "leftover night". When I was working full-time, pizza night was not just a treat for the kids, it was a treat for me for making it through another week. I pretty much had to do it all by myself and it was HARD! Working, raising a family, cleaning, cooking, taking time for YOU, spending time with hubby and, especially if you're going to school yourself, it's enough to drive a person insane if they feel they HAVE to be perfect! Apparently, those neighbors of yours who act so shocked when you're honest with them don't have much of a life for themselves; they're too busy being "perfect". You're quite normal, freedom!

Motherhood............ Hello friend, I think that you are right to be real with your children. There is nothing wrong with eating leftovers, particularly in light of the fact that there are so many children all around the world that are starving. I think that the moms in your subdivision are just a bunch of fake phonies. They are what alot of us would call wanna-bees..... I've seen the type before, they are plastic from head to toe. While I wouldn't tell my kids to "Get out of my face". I would probably just walk away if they were getting on my nerves or saying things that was a real nuisance. Personally I think that you are doing a great job of teaching them about life. There is nobody that could be a better mother to your children that you can be. I'm not exactly a morning person myself but I get on up and watch over them. As my hubby is the one that cook the breakfast around here. Because he knows that I"m not a morning person. So in closing, you have to do what works best for you and don't worry about the opinions of others......Happy Mylot mom!...

Nobody is the perfect mom or wife. Those women are just too self indulgent or snobby to admit it. We all have our good days and our bad. Plus, it's hard with one kid. You have 4. Mom's who can have that many happy healthy kids deserve a metal. I about pull my hair out sometimes with one. I do my best to do whatever I can for my family, but we just can't do everything. Having a break every once in a while is needed. If not for them, for you. The happiest parents and kids haven't lost themselves in the situation. You can't neglect yourself as a person, it will just become too much.

I had five kids. Four of them were born within the first five years I was married. So...I had my hands REAL full. :) btw...the first four were BOYS! wild little indians! I mothered them as my mother mothered me. This was in the seventies....and good old Dr. Spock's advice was all the rage. I took the right advice in what he said...and threw out the rest! I felt it did them good, prepared them for REAL life to have to help around the house, help take care of the younger ones, share their possessions, and be respectful to elders. Moms are not servants and they are not taxi drivers. They are not waitresses and short order cooks. They ARE teachers and mentors. REAL life demands that you know how to survive and surviving means you take care of yourself. A parents job is to prepare a child to survive on their own. Don't get me wrong...I cooked three hot meals most days when they were real young. But as they got to an age where it was safe...they were allowed to fend for themselves if I was busy. I also made it fun to cook, clean, and care for the babies...for them and for me. As a result of raising them to be independent...they ARE! My sons knew more about house cleaning and taking care of babies than their young wives did. lol

My girls love to eat school breakfast because they get to eat with their frineds before the class's begin. If you've never been to the school during breakfast time, you've seen that it's usually filled with other kids who's parents let them eat at school .Wether they pay for it or it's free lunch due to low income. It doesn't matter, they're eating food!!! That's like compairing expensive shoes to cheaper shoes. As long as you're not letting your kid go barefot then what difference does it make? Is it some sort of status symbol to the "perfect mothers" that their kids get their breakfast at home? That is completely ridiculous. I have three daughters and it takes a lot of water for all three of them to bath daily so they get baths every other day too and if they haven't gone outside and got muddy or something then i don't make it a big deal if they skip a bath. Those mothers you're referring to are probably not that special either and only claim to be perfect to try to out do each other or just so they can make you feel bad so they'll feel better. I'd stay as far away from that type as possible. I'm sure your children don't love you any less than those other mothers' kids love them. Isn't that what's most important? That your children do get food, love and shelter whether it meets the onld lady down the roads standards or not. :)

My philosophy in life is to flow along with the tide with just the basics intact. For that, I have to mix and match schedules, food, clothes, study time, bath time, TV time…everything. Each mother to me is a supermom if she manages to bring up her child/children as a basically good human being with the right values towards society. I don’t care if your children have skipped bath or take school breakfast…even my son would skip bath sometimes, take coupons for the school cafeteria, eat leftovers (in any case, I cook in bulk for at least 2 days, saves food, fuel and time), not have super shiny white uniform (like they show on TV) and such…and here you are talking of 4 kids! I also do not care if my house is a little dirty midweek, if the books are strewn, the cushions haywire…I don’t have any help at home and to me, more important is serving homecooked food (not frozen or takeaways), studies completed and some time to sit and relax with the family. I am not asking for help from anybody so I don’t really care whether people label me a supermom or a failure.

I am not a mother but I act like a mother to my only nephew. My sister work at night as a call center agent and I am responsible for my only nephew at times his mother is out for work. I can say that my sister is a loving mom and she is the best mom in the whole world. She works hard for her child's education and future and she even manages to take care of her child when she is home.

I did happen to catch that show and that's funny because I am almost never watching tv but my daughter had it on and it caught my attention. Some of the stuff was a little over the top but I think we all could relate. I raised 4 and I know how tough it can be to find time and energy and set priorities. I've never been one of those "super moms" and actually never tried to be. I am who I am. I'm not perfect. No one is and those super moms that look their noses down at others...they aren't for real. I just don't buy it. There is no way that they have never said something in anger that they didn't mean or cut corners somewhere to find a little time for themselves. Either that or they have an awful lot of help. There is nothing wrong with left overs and no kid ever was harmed by missing a bath. We all say things in anger that we don't mean and I imagine every mom has missed a shower or two or maybe more. I wouldn't even want to give the impression to my girls that it is normal to be that perfect. You know that inside these women are hating their lives.

I feel your pain. LOL. I am a single mother of 4. The kids don't get a bath every night. Like you said, if they are inside, what's the point? I have used the phrase "I gave you life, I can take it away." I don't cook breakfast, we will either pick something up on the way to school, or they will eat it there. My house is a cluttered mess. My two older children (12 and 8) help out tremendously with my two youngest (1 1/2 and 12 weeks). I don't know if there is actually a mom out there that can "do it all". If so, I would really like to know how she does it. I think that it is in actualilty a bunch of bored women trying to outdo the other bored women by stretching the truth a little bit to make themselves feel better about their own lives.

hi there, i have 21month old son and for me he is already a handful. I am not a morning person too, since my son wakes up early like his dad, his dad always wakes me up so i can make my son a breakfast and tells me that at least wake up when my son woke up, but what i do is ill let my son watch cartoon channels in our room (he moves into our bed as soon as he wakes up) until im fully awake and ready to make breakfast. With one son i have and i already feel like im always occupied how much more of 4 kids that you have. Kids learn from what they see we do and not from what we say. Being a mom is a full time job and our only consolation we get is see them well taken care of and their hugs and kisses knowing they appreciate what we are doing for them.

Good Lord... Sounds like nobody works in your neighborhood. And sounds like the Moms in your neighborhood need a dose of good old fashioned southern smarta$$! I despise pretentious people. We watch Noggin alot in my house, and always have, and my six year old is a 'Terriffic Kid.' I work weekends, and I know their Daddy tries, but they don't get a bath every night on a weekend. He just don't worry bout it :) We don't eat home cookin' every day, but we do eat good, even if it's takeout. I think people should stop listening to the "experts" and stop trying to be supermom or 'bombshells' and just enjoy their kids... have fun with them, see what they really enjoy doing or eating, and most of all... stop judging parental abilities based on how exhausted we are after a day with them. Just chill :)