Would You Confess an Affair to Your Spouse?
By MaryannaHope
@MaryannaHope (96)
United States
June 14, 2009 10:23pm CST
There is a bit of controversy regarding this subject...and I am curious as to what most people think.
If you had an affair, but felt guilty and stopped it on your own before your spouse found out...do you believe it would be important to confess the affair to your spouse or do you believe it would only cause unnecessary pain?
When my husband confessed an affair many years ago, he felt better for confessing, but I felt horrible. Had he not confessed, I would never have known about the affair. Still, in the long run...I believe it forced us to address some issues in our marriage.
So...would you confess? Or keep the secret til your grave?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@whizkid08 (715)
• India
15 Jun 09
Good topic!! 
I think, hiding anything or keeping secrets to your spouse may lead to a strained relationship. If anyhow, someday those buried secrets come into your attention, it can weaken the trust bond.
Confession would be a better choice.
And in your case, I must say you are lucky to have an honest husband 
It always feels good to reveal such secrets to your spouse and you should not feel bad about it.
I think, hiding anything or keeping secrets to your spouse may lead to a strained relationship. If anyhow, someday those buried secrets come into your attention, it can weaken the trust bond.
Confession would be a better choice.
And in your case, I must say you are lucky to have an honest husband
It always feels good to reveal such secrets to your spouse and you should not feel bad about it.1 person likes this
@CathyLee2009 (429)
• China
2 Nov 09
In my opinion,it's better to keep it secret...At least,holding it a long time before confessig it.Maybe confessing brings one release,but it brings the other huge pain and contradiction.And it can't make things better.so if the other hasn't found the affair yet,keep silence and let it go like the wind...
@tbmorris1 (158)
• United States
20 Sep 09
I honestly don't see where the debate is with this question. It's clear cut for me. If a person has an affair, there has to be a reason WHY. I believe if that reason isn't addressed, the problem will continue to grow even after the affair has stopped. If someone was unfaithful, they should admit to it and deal with the issues that led them to those actions whether it be not enough affection from their significant other or maybe not enough emotional support, whatever it may be as I'm sure there could be millions of reasons depending on the person. I figure you probably know that if I did this I would definitely confess to it in order to take care of whatever issues were there! I'm glad you took care of the issues in your case!
@wunderful (55)
•
22 Oct 09
my husband had one, he didnt confess i found out because I suspected and did some checking. we were in counselling. He didnt want to lose me. he should have ended the affair, not told me and addressed our issues. i am in pain and always will be. my children lost their father and their future.
@wesiati (8)
• Indonesia
25 Oct 09
confess it or not, it depends on what your heart says. if you're really sure that you want to confess, just confess. but if you're not, then don't. but you must understand that when your spouse finally find it out, it will be hurt for him or her. I asked my friend who had an affair and had stopped it. I asked him, did he love his affair, he said : not exactly. the one he loved was his wife, and he had an affair because he just had a chance and wanted to experience it. he never confess and everything goes fine....
