My hubby will be leaving :(

Hmm, I can think of plenty of things to do. And no, none of it would involve you. Don't worry, I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on earth. You sound like a bitter old coot. Go play with yourself. Apparently you need it.

First off, I am a woman, not a "dude". Secondly you need to learn to treat people with respect. This is a public site and if you have nothing nice, or at the very least civil to say, then move on to the next discussion. Unlike you, I don't bash people...unless I am provoked. I've been a member of this site for a lot longer than you have. And anyone that knows me on here knows I don't start fights on here. Now leave me alone, before I report you for breaking the guidelines.

Hello sacmom! My first reply would be, “Don’t feed the Trolls.” Angolerio seems to have some problems. I’ve already seen his lack of empathy in an earlier post in this discussion thread. Now, for the more apt reply, I’m sorry to hear about the new travel. I hope does not become a common thing. It certainly seems like you understand where the original poster is coming from. I feel for you that your husband is going to be gone for a month. A good daddy is missed by his children and his wife. I hope you children can bear the time without too much discord over it. Perhaps the wonders of the internet can help and someone can send or receive videos? As far as angoleiro’s response to your post. The guy seems to be snide, snotty, and seriously lacking in the ability to empathize. If he has a wife, I’m sure she would rather have your husband than him. Not to be snotty myself, but if angoleiro’s behavior to his wife matches the snide reply to you, I’m sure she’s in a living hell. I would advise angoleiro to work on his people skills, but with people like angoleiro advice seems to be most often pointless. I agree with your assessment that angoleiro is bitter sounding. It is hard to hear or read such negative attitudes and not get a little defensive. I hope I can convey to you that allowing angoleiro to affect you is giving him more respect than he deserves. Some people have difficulties with normal conversation, but are still easily able to participate in arguments. This is called “trolling” and for some people it takes the place of social interaction. The idea is very similar to how a child who is being ignored by his parents or feels he is being ignored by his parents will intentionally misbehave to get their attention. Negative attention being seen as preferable to no attention at all. I find it interesting to introspect on angoleiro’s psychology which sees your avatar image (woman) and reads your userid (containing the appellation “mom”) and reads your post referencing your husband and then replies with “Dude.” Dude being a masculine term, it seems a bit inexplicable. In the same paragraph he expresses being confused by what you are clearly saying. This implies a lack of reading comprehension, perhaps, but more likely again demonstrates a failure to possess an adequate “Theory of Mind.” By this I mean and understanding that other minds are different from our own and have different knowledge, experiences, feelings, and responses. His mind seems challenged when asked to formulate a model of your mind in order to understand the implications of your response. Angoleiro, she said that you are an unpleasant person who is beneath her. Her comment was a rebuke and rebuff of your rudeness, indicating disgust for your insensitivity. While you expressed happiness that you are not her husband, her pointed rebuttal is that she is doubly glad not to be married to someone who is insensitive, inflammatory, and rude. She finishes with a comment that you should take care of your own personal needs in the privacy of your own house. Insinuating a circumstance where a good bit of hand lotion and a few paper towels might be of some assistance. The implication is that with an attitude such as yours, she has a hard time imagining that you could secure a female participant for such an act. It really wasn’t that hard to understand. In angoleiro’s response he claims that he’s being “polite enough.” This is exactly the problem expressed several times. Angeoliero is not only not being polite, he is .. in fact.. being the opposite of polite. He is being rude. Pointedly so. He did not, actually, mention anything about getting consoling subsequent to his response in which he implies this is what he “politely” said. He peppers his commentary with other negative and inflammatory verbiage and, in a surprising twist, implies that you are seeing the world as glass half-full. As a counter point, angoleiro has displayed by his words a pervasive negativity, looking at life with an initial reaction of displeasure and annoyance. Angoleiro then goes on with an interesting psychological turnabout. If one looks closely, it seems as if some fragment of angoleiro’s mind is attacking himself. “You are shallow, you like to complain. You think it gives you powers because you feel somewhat powerless.” This, in a nutshell, adequately explains and pigeon-holes angoleiro’s pervasive negativity. His own mind knows why he is doing this “trolling” and foists it on other targets as a way to launder his self-hated. The comment on needing consoling now becomes explainable in this light. Angoleiro needs consoling. He knows this. At least, some fragment of his mind.. perhaps the best fragment.. knows this. Being unable or unwilling to admit such weaknesses in himself, he turns them around and projects them onto other people.

I would expect that it is quite hard on you to have your husband travel that much. I am glad that it seems that you still have a healthy relationship. One hopes that, when you decide to have kids, that he’s able to work closer to home. Daddies are important, or at least I think so in my own humble opinion. The responses to your post seemed a little, odd. I guess, the pattern of speech/writing is a little off. I seem to pick up a lack of empathy, perhaps some aggression. I’m left wondering if the “voice” of the responder should be interpreted as male of female? I’m initially guessing male. Angolerio seems to expresses a lack of empathy. Missing the spouse doesn’t seem to be something which personally affects this person. He addresses that it would be worse if the spouse weren’t employed, which isn’t exactly what is under discussion. That seems to be expressing a certain defensiveness. It would lead one to at least consider that Andgoleiro would feel irritated by a spouse who loved Andgoleiro and wished for them to be present. As if the emotional needs of others would be an irritant instead of a balm. It may be that Angoleiro has autism or aspergers and emotionally connecting with others is a special challenge. Given the last line of his response, I infer that it is a notion to be entertained that Angoleiro works from home as an “underwritier” of some sort and was irritated by the emotional needs of others in the house for attention. Working from home comes with those problems, Angoliero. The person who is privileged with the option of working from home is expected to be able to deal with the distractions that result.

LOL, I thought it was a little strange too. I thought maybe I had missed something! It IS hard for him to be gone all the time, especially because we're trying to conceive children, and most practical people understand that both parties have to be present for that to happen. Immaculate conception or having the mailman's baby are not options for me! I do believe the role of Daddy is important, and my husband is ready for that role. He is doing all the traveling now, so that when I finally have our first child, he can go to his boss and show him all the time away from home he's had, which will hopefully give him more pull to be able to be home more for his family. That is what he is banking on anyway. We're doing fine. He is on a mission to get me pregnant, so no complaints here!

Thanks angoleiro, I appreciate that you liked what I said.

Hate is a perfectly fine word if that expresses the feelings one has. It is commonly used in conversation to imply something that we “dislike strongly” to a degree that “dislike strongly” seems too emotional distant and absent of the feelings we are trying to express. Man: “Dear, I’ve decided to date my secretary.” Woman: “I dislike you strongly.” Right.

Ha! Being with 4 of 5 other guys from work actually seems rather like it opens up the opportunity for trouble instead of the other way around. :) Kidding :)

And what do you know about my life or my husband? Absolutely nothing. Is it not possible that my husband is just shy and doesn't think the whole world needs to know his business? Why do you have to go reading into something that isn't there? I guess your life is just that sad you don't have anything better to do but try to anazlyze every detail about someone else's life when you don't even know the story. How many kids do I have, how long have I been married? If you don't even know that much, then you have no right to try to tell me what's wrong with me, my husband, my marriage... Get your own life and keep your nose out of mine!

Obviously you know nothing about Mylot either, because you aren't going to be paid for this ridiculous cr@p, and most of us are not here just to earn a penny like you are. If you're that concerned about money, get a job.