Mother's 2nd marriage

I understand how you feel. Having lost your Dad when you were one 2-years-old, you, yourself was there for your mom every step of the way. You've been her ally, an extension of her life. Years have passed, she found someone else to share her love with and now, trying to have a second chance. No one really knows what future holds for us. I know that there are things you do not like about this man. But your mom separated with him before and had gotten back with him. Perhaps she sees something in him that you don't see. Perhaps, she really loves him. Perhaps, this would make her happy, no one really knows. We would only know if we take the plunge. Support your mother, like what you were before, still be with her every step of the way.

HI, MY MOTHER IS IN SAME SITUATION, BUT SHE IS MARRIED WITH THIS MAN 15 YEARS. You know first time i was agree with she, because i was convinced that she is mature enaught to make this step, and i was very polite with this...man..but is not a real man. Now, he is all time drunk, is a stupid, make my mother don t want see me or my brothers..as he say.."i must be all for you baby" and my mother seems that like this, she fight with us a lot for this jerk. I am really pitty, and i think that she deserve what she have now.

No, my mother never got married. She has been with two men and both were disappointments.

That's hard to say without knowing more information. It's possible your mother is just tired of being alone and is settling on this man even though she's not 100% happy with him. Or it's possible that they're wonderful together and there's no better man out there for her (except your father of course). I think you need to have a heart to heart with your mother and find out why she's marrying this man, does she love him, is he good to her, or is she just tired of being alone?

I think at that point in your mother's life, she probably knows what she wants. I'm sure she cares about your feelings, however, I doubt you would be the make/break factor in her marrying this man or not. The best thing to do is just be happy for her. If she doesn't mind the drinking and cursing there really isn't much you can do about it.

Have you tried to talk with your mother??

Well right now, I guess the best that you can do about it is to tell how you feel about it with your mom. But, I really doubt if she would heed your plea not to marry him. So right now, you and your mom should have a one on one serious talk about it and don't expect that you would convince her to stop or postpone her plans of getting married. Let's just hope that your teacher has changed already from his past attitude and will be happily married with your mom. Sometimes we have to allow love to flourish for we are not sure if we are just misjudging a person's intent. i know it is a risk they have to take but what can you do to stop love from happening if both parties are willing and free to be married again.

I think your mother at 64 is already too old to be married again. Maybe she really loves that man. But basing on your statement about that man and his attitudes I have doubts on him. I just hope that he won't be a problem to your mother then. I think you have to talk to your mother honestly, if she listens then it will be better but if she won't then it will be her decision then.

It is really a hard thing to accept a stepfather who is not exactly your cup of tea. According to your description, this guy drinks and curses. To be honest, I don't think he is a man of good temper as most guys who like to curse are bad-tempered. I can't stand those bad-tempered people. It makes me feel nervous and scared to be face to face with them. But your mother seems satisfied with him. Then, I suggest you talk to your mom and tell your true feelings to her. After all, your mom knows more about him than you do. As soon as your mom loves you, she'll take your worries into consideration. Don't be too scared. Good luck!

Love is blind. When you are having a serious attraction on someone then you won't be able to see the flaws and defects of that person.Usually old people will not fall with that kind of relationship so easily. May be the man is too attractive to resist.One thing you should remember, that no one would listen to advice when he/she is in a serious relationship with somebody. Only time can open their blind eyes. You can't do anything to this matter, just leave it to the fate. You don't have to worry too much on this and keep concentrating on your work and family.Be cheerful and happy always.

If you were a child under for example 18, I would be saying your mum needs to concentrate on being your mum. But, you are an adult and she has done her job as your primary carer and those days are long gone. No one will ever truly understand the connection between two people, I think your mum has her reasons for wanting to marry the guy which should speak volumes. In my experience, in todays society, the world we live in is full of those who drink and curse regardless of their qualifications or intelligence. It is just life and your mum is ok with it so I think maybe you should trust her judgement and be there for her.

So, you are an adult now and your mom is an adult. I understand that you want to protect your mom and you want what is best for her. I think you are right to trust your feelings about the guys bad habits. They do not usually change very easily. If I were you, I would have a loving heart-to-heart talk (without the guy around) with my mom and explain that you want what is best for her because you love her but you are concerned about the character of this guy. You can tell her that you will support her decision but that perhaps you have a better perspective on the relationship than she does. When I was going to marry my ex, my mom was way against him and rightly so. The relationship with that man ended later on but after marriage. I knew I was going to do whatever I wanted, no matter what. No one was going to stop me from getting married. However, where you can make a difference is to voice your opinion in a loving way and stand by your mom no matter what. My mom could not support my opinion and voice her opinion at the same time. Her behavior was very upsetting to me when I got married and that almost drove a wedge between our relationship. If she told me how she felt but supported me at the same time, I think it would have been better than for her to act the way she did. I hope things work out for all of you. I am sorry you had to lose your father when you were very young. I lost my father last year and it is still hard without him. Good luck to all of you.

hard to say something bad to influence u due to lack of more informaiton about him. drinking and cursing ,joining the church can not judge him is not a good man... try more to adopt to him...........