I'll start keeping diary in mylot.

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These days I always feel panicky as various exams are coming.Actually I am not afraid of exams;I just put huge preesure on myself as I aim high and dream big,thus I seldom feel content with myself.I push myself to such an extreme degree that I feel guilty about every idleness.I also attempt to reach high efficiency on my work in a long span of time,which is,however,almost impossible both in terms of psychological and physiological sides. This afternoon I think I have suffered frustration.We had a spoken English class and the foreign teacher who has been teaching us this year, is preparing to leave this university and move to another big city(one of the biggest and most influential cities in our nation) for his wonderful opportunity.Therefore,the class this afternoon mainly consisted of our presentations or performances and he brought his digital camera to record some wonderful moments.He told us he expected every one of us could present the best of himself or herself.I have long been active in his class and have made several well-appreciated performances,so accordingly,he is quite impressed by me and as well he expects me a lot.Things,nevertheless,didn't go smoothly. I did audio dubbing,the scenes of which I've familiarized and the lines I've memorized and performed naturally.But when I got on the stage,I shamefully felt nervous.He used his digital camera to record my dubbing but I just spoke in a terrible way.I didn't sound clearly of the words,the speed of speaking was too much in a hurry.This resulted in the horrible consequence that when I stop speaking,the character in the movie still continued opening lips!I just feel it sucks,everything. This is a disaster to a girl who has an extremely high degree of self-respect and always eager to do well in everything.I can't bear my disappointing presentation.Why on earth could feel nervous?How can I screwed up? After complaining and dumping all the grumbles,I pondered over this catastrophe.I am thinking that maybe I still didn't prepare well,I didn't take it serious nor try to be creative.I simplily settled myself with a relaxible task and didn;t sacrifice enough time on it.My attitude is obviously improper, negative and passive! This big disappointment warns me a lot.I should be earnest and down-to-earth so as to try my best to fulfil every task assigned to me.