Being happy for others.
By Pose123
@Pose123 (21635)
Canada
June 16, 2009 2:56pm CST
We all want to be the kind of people who are happy for others when they experience success or a cause for celebration in their lives, but it isn't always easy. Sometimes feelings of jealousy arise because our friend has something that we would like to have for ourselves or because our friend’s success may lead to us losing them in some way. While such feelings may arise for reasons we don’t yet understand, it's important not to brush it under the rug, but to take it seriously and look at it; suppressing it will only make it worse. At the same time, we need to be sure to find a way to congratulate our friends and celebrate their successes as if they were our own.
The struggle with being happy for others presents itself early in life. If a child wants a toy and another child has it, the child will try to get it or will break down in tears. Those primal feelings are still present in most of us, and we have to acknowledge them when they arise. At the same time, it is when we care enough for someone to let go of what we want for ourselves that we grow as people. It can be a difficult dance to find ourselves suspended between wanting the toy and throwing a party for our friend who got the toy. Yet, it is in throwing the party that we share in the joy and, to some extent the toy, rather than cutting ourselves out of it completely.
Extending ourselves to celebrate the happiness of others requires a generosity of spirit that we sometimes find only in the process of doing it. So when your best friend moves to England with the person you had a crush on, tend to your broken heart but throw them a going away party too.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@ivana980 (156)
• Italy
17 Jun 09
Yes, it is easyer to be happy for the people you love, like your family or your friend... But I like to help other people and to give them happynes, when i can... it make me feel serene. I would like to be a nurse and to work in a hospital to help people that are sick, it isn't easy to explayn how i feel....
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
17 Jun 09
Hi ivana, Thank you for commenting and I think you are a compassionate, caring person. I hope you get your dream of becoming a nurse because that's the kind of people we need. If that's not something you can do, try volunteering at a local hospital. There are always those who could do with a smile, someone to talk to and a helping hand. Blessings.
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
17 Jun 09
Hello Pose. It is true that we are sometimes very happy for others. For example, when our friends or our favorite teams win the match, we are crazy for them and get very excited for no specific reasons. Or when our relatives or family members succeed in what they are doing, it makes us feel happy for them...
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
22 Jun 09
Hi williamjisir, Thank you for that comment and you bring up a very important point, sports, many people are happy when their friends win and they seem to be able to share in thir happiness. You certainly have the right idea about being happy for our friends and when we are able to do that, we find happiness within ourselves. Blessings.
@HelScream (2822)
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
I find it challenging to be like my friend who had found success and I say to myself that one day will achieve something that I will have to celebrate then my friends will be the one to congratulate me for the success that I have found. I have always encountered this situations I have to agree that we cant help but to feel a little envy for what they have achieve but I dont take it the wrong way i took it as a challenge and tell myself that he must have struggled too much to achieve this or to have this in his life. I too mus struggle and work harder for me to have this as well.. It is quite challenging for me to see my friends successful and I try to figure out how they come to gain there success in life and make my own strategies to get the success or achievement i rightfully deserve.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
22 Jun 09
Hi HelScream, Thank you for a well thought out and honest answer. My thoughts are that celebrating the success of our friends puts us in a better frame of mind. We becoming happier and more outgoing instead of retreating into a shell and this is the type of individuals who attract good things into their lives. Blessings.
@beejay24 (75)
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
in a way you are right helscream, for emotionally balanced individual they can use this situation as a motivation to do better than our friends so we can also achieve the same success. but isn't jealousy that drives people to compete to be in the top?
beejay
1 person likes this
@velentina (891)
• Mauritius
17 Jun 09
If we like a person then we get a satisfaction in helping them and if we are jealous of someone then we are unwilling to help that person and we are jealous in his or her success. I think we all should have that positive side in helping a person in difficulty. We must be happy to see others happy. just simple words like congrats, wow will do.
1 person likes this
@ezekiel71 (132)
• United States
17 Jun 09
AS human with feelings and emotions, there is always tendency to feel jealous or envy when somebody else gain something that you are trying to get or have something that we dont have. Envy is a feeling of ill will toward those who possess the things you want on the other hand jealousy is a fear of being being displaced its like "I am afraid you are going to take what i have" and envy "i want what you have and i resent you for having it". When we find somebody that we think they have it all,we tend to make up something negative about that person jsut to ease what you are feeling, you have resentment and that is in your heart beause you entertain it.It takes a meek heart to be happy for others for their success and join them to celebrate it. There is always one thing in us that other people want to have, thats how it works, we just cannot have it all. You can make your envy for you as a source of motivation ,asking" can i do that too or can i achieve that too" if you think you can then work for it but you must be willing to pay the price and if you think you cannot then settle it in your heart and accept that its Gods will.
@beejay24 (75)
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
human emotions such as jealousy is very hard to control. human as we are we always try to be the best and to have the best of everything. whether we accept the fact or not, the reality is it is very hard for us to be happy to other people's succes in life especially if we have not experienced such success.
that is why human struggle to the top of everything is never ending. after all that is what the thought of the long time phrase |"there's is no such thing as contentment"
beejay
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
22 Jun 09
Hi beejay, Thank you for commenting and what you say is true, it isn't easy to be happy for others if our own success is slow in coming. I think however that if it can be done,it really makes us happier people in our own right. Contentment is possible but it has to come from within. We can never find it in material things because we are always seeking for more. Blessings.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
16 Jun 09
You get to choose how you feel and no matter what happens life moves on with no consideration of your feelings. Until you live another's life you can never tell what trials and sorrows they are going through. I can't tell you how often I have been tempted to tell someone who thinks mine is the perfect life what it's really like, but of course the wouldn't help anyone would it.
1 person likes this
@reckon21 (3479)
• Philippines
17 Jun 09
Being happy for other is sometimes difficult to do.
You are right in saying that jealousy is the temptation
hard to resist. IT keeps on whispering in your ears...
The best thing to do is to acknowledge the fact that
we all have our moments to shine.
