Death and the healing process

I cannot even imagine what you are going thru..First of all, I am sorry for your father and may he rest in peace. They say it does get better with time but I truly dont believe that. I think you just learn to live with it. Losing a loved one, i believe, will change your life regardless. Try to think of the wonderful times you had with your Dad. You say you are on meds for depression and I'm wondering if you've spoken to a psychologist also. I know that talking to a doctor won't bring your dad back but at least they can probably help you focus more on when he was alive and to be able to honor him in a positive way. It will definitely be a long process and of course it's not to forget your dad but to deal with it alittle better. All the best to you and your family.

I can tell you for certain that, no, the pain never completely goes away. I, too, lost my father back in 2001, and I was a total Daddy's girl. I am my father in female form. I lost a large part of myself that day. You have to pick yourself up and live your life to the fullest. You know that is what your dad would want you to do. He is likely upset seeing you like this. I know my dad would be proud of me. I have gotten married and am now working on having kids. I just lost my mom a couple of weeks ago. Neither of them even made it to 60 years of age. I am only 32 and I have buried both of my parents now. My brother is only 25! It isn't fair, but no one said life would be. All I can tell you is that you need to live your life and be happy. That is what your dad wants you to do. Staying depressed and sad for the rest of your life is not only no way to live, but it won't bring him back. Celebrate all the time you did get to spend with him. I remember the fishing trips, the Father/Child church retreats we'd go on, camping, playing board games in the living room, doing puzzles together...I could go on and on. Mom and I used to go power shopping. We'd hit three or four malls in one day!! When we got thirsty, we'd always take a break, go to Sonic and get a cherry limeade! Mom was like another girlfriend once I got a little older. If friends weren't available, I'd call Mom and we'd go have chips and salsa and margaritas at the local Tex-Mex place (I grew up in Texas). It makes me happy to think of all of these times I spent with both of my parents. I am lucky to have had them in my life and am lucky to have been raised and loved by them. So LIVE YOUR LIFE. Live it joyfully, remember the good times. When something hits you (I know it hits at random times), and you feel like crying, then cry. I still cry about my dad too. But don't let your sorrow control your life. Live a life your daddy would be proud of!

We can't say we know how you feel unless we experience the same pain but I can say the feeling of losing someone so dear to us will never go away. As the time goes by, the days will pass we forget about the pain at times but when remembered the same pain will always be felt. What your going through right now is normal. Every each of us had experience loss but just not the same pain. Just like you, I've been there. Up to now I'm still feeling the same pain, the same one that I burried my brother and my only child. It doesn't matter how long it passed the pain will never go away. I've been on meds and had seen my life drif away because of this. But in this life, everyone will go away for this life is just borrowed. We will never know who will go next. It could be us it could be someone we love. We always have to remember that life goes on, we can't live like this hurting. Though we knew it will remain we have to do something to forget at times. If we continue to be like this we will ust continue to hurt those who went away already. Their souls will never be in peace because we won't let go of them. We have to let go and continue living for them. Life is a matter of choice, for every lost we grieve and that is a process we have to deal with but it has to end as well for it will never do us any good. We don't have to blame someone for what's happening in our life just because we lost someone we won't live well anymore. If we only try to let go and accept things will be better one day. And it has to start now, not tomorrow not later but today. You still have friends and family who cares and you can start a new beginning by giving uour life back to them. My heart goes to you. And you will be in my prayers.

We can't say we know how you feel unless we experience the same pain but I can say the feeling of losing someone so dear to us will never go away. As the time goes by, the days will pass we forget about the pain at times but when remembered the same pain will always be felt. What your going through right now is normal. Every each of us had experience loss but just not the same pain. Just like you, I've been there. Up to now I'm still feeling the same pain, the same one that I burried my brother and my only child. It doesn't matter how long it passed the pain will never go away. I've been on meds and had seen my life drif away because of this. But in this life, everyone will go away for this life is just borrowed. We will never know who will go next. It could be us it could be someone we love. We always have to remember that life goes on, we can't live like this hurting. Though we knew it will remain we have to do something to forget at times. If we continue to be like this we will ust continue to hurt those who went away already. Their souls will never be in peace because we won't let go of them. We have to let go and continue living for them. Life is a matter of choice, for every lost we grieve and that is a process we have to deal with but it has to end as well for it will never do us any good. We don't have to blame someone for what's happening in our life just because we lost someone we won't live well anymore. If we only try to let go and accept things will be better one day. And it has to start now, not tomorrow not later but today. You still have friends and family who cares and you can start a new beginning by giving uour life back to them. My heart goes to you. And you will be in my prayers.

I don't know what to say to you Dasie...but I feel like giving you a hug... I also love my father so much that the thought of him going away is so horrifying for me. I can't imagine my life without him.. I've always needed him with me and I am going to need him as long as I live... Why are we like this when we all know that someday we have to leave this world.. And we'll all go alone. My advice to you would be, don't try NOT To think about your dad, feel his presense and do everything he would have liked you to do. Take care of your family. Your husband. Give them the time they need. Give them their "dasiejanie" back. By being depressed and sick all the time you are not doing justice to anyone. Not to your dad, your family and most of all not even to yourself. Keep your dad alive inside you, be what he has always wanted you to be. Smile and do the stuff he liked. But most of all, "live" your life :) with the loved ones you "still" have. Love, Maryam

you'll always miss him but maybe the grief will soften over time. mine went 15 years ago and occasionally i can still cry about it. you do sound depressed though and i think you should stick with the meds

I lost my father September 8, 2002 and I lost my brother August 17, 2006 and you never get over it, you just learn how to incorporate it into your life.

I wish I could tell you that rhode feelings go away but the thruth is -they don't. But they do get easier as time goes on. I recently went through the 27th anniversary of my moms passing. It still hurts. I spent 2 days curled up in bed not doing much of anything but remembering my mom. It's best to try to focus on the good memories. It helps. Take the time you need to heal. And be sure to surround yourself with loving supportive people. And don't listen to those who tell you to "get over it". Blessed be.... Strength to you.

try a grief group in your area, or therapy. meds don't work by themself, you have to take action on these feelings.