Requesting friendship just to spam people
By olydove
@olydove (1209)
United States
June 18, 2009 6:21pm CST
Yesterday I was so so surprised because a fellow mylotter requested my friendship, then she sent me a message via mylot.
Because this happened so much in the past my first thought was " Oh great another one of those that added me just to spam me "
Much to my surprise I was very very wrong, She sent me a very polite message to thank me for accepting the friend request and stated she looks forward to participating in interesting discussions with me. I WAS SO HAPPY!!!!
It's been so long since I have had a simple polite thank you for adding me that was sincere and not just an html comment or spam.. I responded to her and thanked her for requesting my friendship and also explained I look forward to participating in her discussions as well.
So early this morning another member requested to add eachother. I checked their profile and saw that most of their discussions/responses were about biz opps, and saying " add me so I can send you my link " in their replies,.. but since I had such a great experience yesterday I thought well I'll give this new one the benefit of the doubt and accept. Well I should have stuck with my gut feeling when I checked the discussions/responses because sure enough just a few minutes ago I checked my mylot email and there it was a message from this person with not just 1 referral link but a whole list of opps they are involved in.
I'm sorry I just find this method of trying to get referrals to be rude and inconsiderate, and in my opinion it ruins it for those that try to promote in a more humble and correct manner because people get so much "spam" they get tired of seeing business opportunities period and don't even want to deal with it.
How do you feel when someone adds you just to "spam" you?
Again I'd like to thank that certain friend for the lovely message it really did make my day a good one **smiles**
4 people like this
12 responses
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
19 Jun 09
Hi olydove!
Thank goodness the positive things here on myLot outweigh the negatives by far!
The first part of your topic was so sweet and just goes to show that there are definately still some absolutely fantastic people here. I can't help wondering, as I see her here too, that we have the same person on our lists and indeed she is a great, warm person 
There are many users here and some of them stand out in a crowd and I am so happy to have met them when I did 
Before I add a user i check their profile. if all their activity involves online earning ventures I very rarely accept the request thus avoiding future PMs from them.
There are many users here and some of them stand out in a crowd and I am so happy to have met them when I did
Before I add a user i check their profile. if all their activity involves online earning ventures I very rarely accept the request thus avoiding future PMs from them.1 person likes this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
20 Jun 09
You are spot on with that observation! Technology has made it so that we can say things without having to look the other person in they eye and so often we do not realise that what we are saying can hurt, especially if we are misunderstood. So much damage can be done 
On the positive side though there are also many who are not so good at expressing themselves verbally but their written words hold so much more and in this case technology has a plus. I'm sure everyone has at least one special text message on their cell phone from someone who would not have said the same thing in quite the same way had they only been able to speak
On the positive side though there are also many who are not so good at expressing themselves verbally but their written words hold so much more and in this case technology has a plus. I'm sure everyone has at least one special text message on their cell phone from someone who would not have said the same thing in quite the same way had they only been able to speak 1 person likes this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
20 Jun 09
The positive definitely outweighs the negative here and I too am thankful for that. It's just nice to be able to come to a place and actually have real conversations about anything and be treated as a human being.
I think in this day and age with all the technology gadgets people ( including myself at times ) have forgotten the small gestures of respect and common courtesy when it comes to interacting with other human beings. Todays gadgets have made things so "impersonal" that sometimes we forget that it truly is another human on the other side, so we forget to treat them as we would want to be treated.
I too have learned the little trick of checking the profile and even more so I now check also the comments and responses they have posted in other discussions. If they have in almost every response " Please add me so I can send you the link" or " If you're interested just go to my profile" in almost every single response they have, it is clear they are only looking to get referrals and don't care about much anything else.
2 people like this
@alexandra777 (643)
• Philippines
19 Jun 09
Oh, great! I could just imagine your new friend beaming with joy as she finds that you were inspired to write this topic because of her gesture! You know, some few months ago one of the old time members here added me as her friend and i was so elated i immediately sent her a private message to let her know how thankful i am that she sent the friend request! Just recently i also sent a friend request to another one of the distinguished members here and i had her know i appreciated her acceptance. Well, it only proves that positive attitudes like politeness, kindness, respect, appreciation and the likes also attract the same kinds of responses. And on top of these, i show my true self which only leads to a deeper bond i now enjoy with the two friends i mentioned.
With regards to those requesting friendships so they can introduce their links, so far i only had a few and because i am so immersed in having fun with my friends here i lose track of the time and before i knew it it's already past midnight and i still have not gone through their links!
I understand your feelings though. Those friends could have waited for that perfect time and established the friendship first before asking you to join under them. Who knows, maybe in time they will only be surprised to see you have joined them without them asking you to! (Oh, ain't that just one big idea? Perhaps i could go around surprising one or two here! I saw they have links in their profile but they never send me those! 
Hello, olydove! I pray another new friend will come your way and make your mylot days even more exciting!
With regards to those requesting friendships so they can introduce their links, so far i only had a few and because i am so immersed in having fun with my friends here i lose track of the time and before i knew it it's already past midnight and i still have not gone through their links!
I understand your feelings though. Those friends could have waited for that perfect time and established the friendship first before asking you to join under them. Who knows, maybe in time they will only be surprised to see you have joined them without them asking you to! (Oh, ain't that just one big idea? Perhaps i could go around surprising one or two here! I saw they have links in their profile but they never send me those!
Hello, olydove! I pray another new friend will come your way and make your mylot days even more exciting! 1 person likes this
@alexandra777 (643)
• Philippines
21 Jun 09
The pleasure is mine, my friend! I am quite used to being with different types of people, with varied beliefs and attitudes. I just see to it that i pick up the positives and avoid being influenced by the negatives. Let's enjoy this world, mylot is fun!
I am quite used to being with different types of people, with varied beliefs and attitudes. I just see to it that i pick up the positives and avoid being influenced by the negatives. Let's enjoy this world, mylot is fun! @olydove (1209)
• United States
20 Jun 09
That's awesome alexandra, It's always nice when some of the old timers accept our friendship for some reason it gives us a sense ( or at least me ) a sense of being approved LOL I don't know how to explain it really.
I am certainly getting to know lots of great people here and I am thankful to be a member. I hope you have a great weekend and thank you for sharing.
2 people like this
@babyangie27 (5176)
• United States
24 Jun 09
Well let me say I do not like SPAM. I add people on here as well as my other social netwroks,and within seconds get a message that says JOIN UNDER ME HERE. No hi how you doing no nothing. I don't promote that way. Yes I have blogs,traffic sites and stuff like that but just sending people that I have never had a convo
with first about wokring online a biz opp just seems cold. It's like those annoying sales calls we all get at home "your car warrenty is about to expire" come on now I have a used car ROFLMBO! And as far as mocha_momo seems like the reason they are "fighting" so hard about this topic is because they themselves are the type of person that does this. They request your friendship only to spam you. And hey they have ever right to do what they please,but we people who don't like it sure don't have to be friends with them.
Also I have something to say about a quote mocha_momo made one that distrubed me "That's like girls who go out provacitavely dressed or very revealed and then act surprised or offended when guys hit on them. What type of attention did you expect."
That kind of thinking is not only wrong but dangerous. Now This is your own words,so what I gather is that if a female goes outside of her house wearing anything but a huge paperbag covering herself(because as we all know doesn't matter what woman wear men will find something about them to be attracted to) that,that female has no right to complain or be appaled if she is unwantedly approached? this conversaion was one about biz opps and spamming and you took it to something totally different. You are right mocha_momo that everyone is intitled to an opinion and well I will be nice and not say mine.
@olydove (1209)
• United States
25 Jun 09
Very valid points babyangie, LOL I get those phone calls too it's so funny because I'm like What??? I don't have a warranty on my car ROFL. It's a scare tactic they use because sometimes people that have bought a warranty or their car came with some sort of warranty might actually believe that their warranty is about to expire.. unfortunately sometimes this kind of deceitful marketing works :(
As for the woman thing I think you're right there too!!!!!!
1 person likes this
@roberten (3128)
• United States
19 Jun 09
olydove, I am sorry for your experience. I am afraid to reply some times to requests for others because I do not want them to think that I am just using their friendship for personal gain. Do not loose faith in us all, some of us really just want to have a pleasant discussion and meet some excellent friends. Better Luck Next Time. Keep the Faith.
1 person likes this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
19 Jun 09
Aww roberten so sweet of you. Don't worry I'm not losing faith just venting a bit I guess **wink** I really do like this site I've been here for about a month now and I am truly enjoying it. I know there are lots of good people on here I've seen many of the discussions and responses I tend to spend more time reading them than anything else LOL.
Don't be afraid to reply to requests you won't know unless you try right?
Have a blessed evening and happy mylotting.
2 people like this
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
19 Jun 09
I have had this happen a few times. Any more, like you, I just expect it. I have the habit of sending referral links only when asked. Which by the way has happened. I glad to know you found a nice friend. I like the thank you people out in mylot. Yes they are out there. 
1 person likes this
@vetiver12 (163)
• Spain
19 Jun 09
that has happened to me too,
It´s indeed a bad habit, because I don´t even read the message or have interest in the company send to me that way.
@jwfarrimond (4473)
•
25 Jun 09
I've recently used this method of getting a few referrals, but I did it by placing a message asking if anyone wanted me to send them the referral link. Once they sent me that request, I've sent them the link and I don't think that there is anything wrong with that.
But it has happened that someone who has requested me as a friend has then gone on right away to send me an unsolicited message promoting some affiliate program that they are in. I just tend to ignore it if its obvious that they only made the friend request in order to send the message.
@olydove (1209)
• United States
25 Jun 09
Well in your case jw that's different because you asked if anyone wanted the message, you gave them the choice to say sure go ahead and send the link. So you promoted in what I consider a respectful manner and no that's not spam and is acceptable though it might be against the MyLot discussion guidelines because from what I understand we're not supposed to start discussions for the sake of getting referrals. I could be wrong though I'll have to double check on that.
Thank you for being honest and for posting your thoughts here.
@jwfarrimond (4473)
•
26 Jun 09
You may be right about the guidelines, I've not checked to be sure. But that can easily be got round by asking for feedback on whatever is being promoted. That can be useful as well as you'll get the opinions of people who are already involved with it.
1 person likes this
@olydove (1209)
• United States
27 Jun 09
Very true and good point. Then we can hear what others have to say about it, especially since many others have more experience than I do, it's a good way to find out whether it's a good program we can trust or not. Plus I think as long as we're only asking for an opinion then it's within the guidelines. Good tip jw thank you. :)
@ShirleyBillingsley (1544)
• United States
19 Jun 09
I certainly am one, that does not like spam, or being spammed. I do like adding friends though, and talking with them also. I completely understand what you are talking about.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
19 Jun 09
I got a nice message like that recently too. It was very nice.
And then this morning was a lovely spam message. lol I'm pretty good at ignoring them though. They don't bother me all that much as long as it isn't multiple ones from the same person.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
19 Jun 09
Closest I ever got to really being annoyed was one person who almost got herself deleted over on Yuwie for sending multiples...
@mocha_momo (212)
• United States
19 Jun 09
I think they are entreprenuers just resourcing put simply.
@olydove (1209)
• United States
19 Jun 09
Well that's interesting because I'm in more business opportunities than I can count on both hands and I don't do that to people.
It's not really resourcing it's spamming anyway you look at it and in my opinion it's not the right way to go about get referrals.
Now had this person and I had a discussion before hand and talked about business opps I might have been more open to looking at their links, but the way they went about it sorry no thank you.
1 person likes this
@mocha_momo (212)
• United States
19 Jun 09
You're only upset because you weren't asked before being sent the link. If you don't want to read it don't read it. And even spam produces business, anyway you look at it. That's the reason it exists. It doesn't exist because it's annoying, as funny a concept that might be. It's here because some clients are produced out of it, which makes it for business's and business people a resource.
@olydove (1209)
• United States
19 Jun 09
Sure spam produces business I'm not saying it doesn't. I'm just saying it's wrong.
I didn't say that " I had to be asked " what I said was if we had been discussing business then it might be different but I hadn't ever even talked ( or typed ) with this person so yes I was annoyed by it.
LOL and I didn't say it exists just to be annoying either.
I did delete it and chose to ignore it but I also chose to start a discussion and share my feelings about it ( which from my understanding is what we're here at mylot to do,.. discuss things. )
As for " If you don't want to read it don't read it " Well I usually like to read my messages so I can reply to them if needed. Otherwise I wouldn't know if they were spam or not.
1 person likes this
@Bearballew (1148)
• United States
19 Jun 09
I usually just send them a thank you. I just say, "thank you". I don't commit or not. They don't ever write back because I didn't show enthusiasm in their spam. Try thank you.
@anangf (1146)
• Indonesia
19 Jun 09
Hi,
I have this experience too. How ever it is depend to us how to maintain them. I just received asking permision for myLotter that 'only' have 1 post in their name. When i receive him, not for long he as me to join in his business
.
Its okay. I admire the attempt and reply it for not interesting, at least for now. Then, it will be okay and i did not see other messages from him.
I think it is not spamming, because they ask for one message. Not for frequency messages and ask the same. just be patient it will be fun.
Have some nice days..
I have this experience too. How ever it is depend to us how to maintain them. I just received asking permision for myLotter that 'only' have 1 post in their name. When i receive him, not for long he as me to join in his business.
Its okay. I admire the attempt and reply it for not interesting, at least for now. Then, it will be okay and i did not see other messages from him.
I think it is not spamming, because they ask for one message. Not for frequency messages and ask the same. just be patient it will be fun.
Have some nice days..