Forgiving and labels...
By ahgong
@ahgong (10064)
Singapore
June 18, 2009 9:44pm CST
I was listening to some self help tapes by Robert Shemin.
In it, he mentioned that when people put a label on you, it is TOUGH to peel it off. No matter how hard you try, you can never peel it off yourself.
And other people will judge you based on that label that was "sticker-ed" on you even though you never ask for it.
This label could be anything from calling you a stupid fool to considering you an idiot no matter what you did to labeling you a criminal for life even though you have served your time and are trying to make amends.
So happens, recently, I was watching an episode of Ghost Whisperer and this theme of labeling came about as well.
The episode was titled "On The Wings Of a Dove".
In this episode, there was a ghost, Julian Borgia, who was a criminal when he was alive. He was jailed for killing a man during a robbery. He explained to Merlinda that the killing was an accident and recounted the events of that day to her.
During his prison sentence, he saw the error of his ways and was trying hard to seek forgiveness from the parents of the man he killed.
When the parents of that man refused to grant him forgiveness, Merlinda turns to Julian's family. It was when he was forgiven that he managed to move on to the other side.
Throughout the episode and the one before this, we were given a very scary outlook of Julian. His tattooed body, his fierce looks and his behavior, we just cannot help but think that he meant Merlinda and her husband harm.
See what I mean? Labeling.
It is only after he explained himself, and show his feelings that we begin to understand that he is not able to move on after he died because he could not finish his task of seeking forgiveness for the wrongs he did when he was alive. Something which we would never be able to see if we judge him based on his looks and his behavior.
Which got me thinking. Is that what life is all about?
Forgiving people and seeking it for the wrongs we have done to others?
And would you forgive someone when they seek it even though you have been seriously hurt by them previously?
Would you label someone just because they do not fit into your definition of what is suppose to be? And would you help that someone to seek forgiveness if he/she approaches you for help?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
19 Jun 09
Very nice story. It helps to understand what forgiveness is and it allows us to learn something, we become more likely to find the strength within us to become forgiving. Regardless of the person, the circumstances, or the degree of pain involved, forgiveness is a challenge. It's not something that comes naturally to us. There are times when the hurt inflicted by a person is too much to bear and forgiving is almost impossible, but the only redress is to come back to spiritual approach to garner enough strength to forgive the wrong doer. Forgiveness is a form of healing. It's the only thing that allows us to move on after being hurt. It's realizing that we have better ways to spend our energy.
1 person likes this
@ezekiel71 (132)
• United States
19 Jun 09
one thing ive learned from my recovery class is you cannot control what people think, say or do. Everybody have their own opinion /perception of things it doesnt matter if its true or not. for me labeling is like name calling, it realy sticks on you for a long time but your character can surpass any label that they stick on you. You dont have to prove to anybody that you are not what was labeled on you, just move on and be yourself,be the best that you can be dont try to please anybody because you cannot, its hard to please a person who is immatured (thats how i call people who label othr people). Peoplet see other peoples flaw/mistakes but they dont see theirs. sometimes we put label on people by how they look, big mistakes. Forgiveness is essential both to the offender and to the one who got offended. Forgiveness is releasing your offender from his guilt and giving yourself a chance to move on and be free. You cannot help somebody to ask forgiveness because whoever is the offender ,he/she must face the person and seek it himself, words are important in asking forgiveness.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
20 Jun 09
yeah, I see what you mean. I am careful not to label people because I am very aware of the repercussions, but sometimes we do it even without intending.
I find that forgiving others - and ourselves, which is quite needed sometimes - is very important. I dont' know if it's part of the great design of life, but I know that it can free people - both forgiver and forgiven - and make life less stressful.
However sometimes we're just too forgiving. I know I am. And people sometimes take advantage of that. So we need to be forgiving, but be careful as well.
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
19 Jun 09
For normal ple or majority of us, seeing is believing.. WIth the type of mentality that has been instill in us over the last few decades , we have already accepted the way things are.. Thus, whenever we see something that usually is spotted on bad guys, the first thing that comes to our mind is that, they are bad guys.. IT's the image that scares us, rather than the things they will do, or gonna do..
So especially when the case of what u mentioned happened, it's even harder for one to accept it because he had done it, and it's a fact.. IT's hard for the family to forgive him based on one incident, because 'that's what the image protrayed, had always been doing'..
Even for u and me, if we see a heavily tattooed guy out there, first thing come to our mind, he's a bad guy or mobster etc.. As he approaches us, the first reaction from us, is to run, even though he dun mean harm to us.. haha =D
It's just human instinct and those values, that had been passed down over the years.. haha =D
@patchmypal (344)
• Philippines
20 Jun 09
To forgive is a virtue. For both the offended and the offender, forgiveness speaks of humility and the ability to move on and live a better life. But of course individual differences would tell us that it may be easy for others to forgive, and difficult to others as well. But still there is always room for one other chance to do better.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
20 Jun 09
Hi ahgong! I love that show! I think that it is very hard to get out from under a label. I think that more often times than not..people are misjudged by several things. I try not to label people but to be very honest..there are certain looks that intimidate me. I try to get past this though. Maybe it is the unfamiliar that makes us do this..or maybe it's the labels we are taught as children. I think that inner peace is what seeking the wrongs we have done to others is about mostly. I think that I would try to forgive but then again I guess it would also depend on what they had done to me. I would want to forgive them..but I don't know if I would.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
19 Jun 09
i used to think that too, but i learned over the years i've been label many time through my life, and the last time i was label was a bad thing. but yeah i knew that what i was label wasn't nothing like me
and i had freinds and family pull that label off of me. but most of the time and in the pass i learned to pull of those negtive label and not worry about what anyone think of me.
because i am a good, caring, loving and helpful person. i dont pass judgement on anyone for any reason.
