Is your parents happiness dependent on you?

I have never been much into poems. However, its time now again to start a new hobby. Do you know this poem byheart? I had heard the first line. I remember I had made fun of it. Prejudice, we just have to try to have less and less of it as we grow older.

Parents do live through their children. They do spend lot of energy, but it is more of a survival instinct/drive, because once grandchildren are there, they take precedence over children. Parents will find happiness in their children's achievements and success, but it does not necessarily translate into that they are happy when their children are happy. Irrespective of age every individual requires an identity and recognition. This combined with a strong sense of self confidence brings in happiness. We as children may strive to keep them happy but beyond a point, it is their individual "growth" and outlook gives them happiness. I think the following poem by Kahlil Gibran hold true both ways. Your Children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable. Even though i have read this poem many times, while typing this out it is a revelation.

I find most of the poetry difficult to understand. There are few exceptions. Poems by Kahlil Gibran are impressive and worthy of attention. I want to by heart this poem, but find more joy reading it again and again. Hope i can put some wisdom of it into practice.

Well said. It is indeed mutual. But are there circumstances when you cannot make a difference to them?

Yes I would think so. If for example you wanted to choose a particular route in life that was important for you and they didn't approve.

I did not know the term sandwich generation. It aptly describes the situation. But is it possible that we cannot make much of a difference at times?

Yours is an extreme case. Be a better person out of it. If possible discuss things with your parents. Try to give more, may be it will change things. all the best.

Wish you the best.There is nothing better than trying to make your parents happy. Safeguard your own happiness also.

Nice to hear what you say. What i meant was to what extent are you responsible for their happiness. Your achievements, fun etc are liked by them, but what causes happiness to them may be different from all this!!!