i shall miss my father on father's day=(

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i miss my father everyday ever since he died last nov 12, 2008. we celebrated his first bday last may 1, 2009 at the manila memorial and it is still painful to remember all the loving memories of my father. i even cry almost everyday since he died and til now when i think of him, at an instant my tears fall uncontrollably. As i write this, i can still feel the hurt and sadness in my heart. i still cant accept that my father left us, i lost a father and a friend. he has been so close to me and also to my 2 sons. its almost as if i wish to die when he died. how much more the pain of my mom who had been with him for so many years. its was really sad. i love you papa.