My mother-in-law is taking care of my daughter!!!
By ryaeneolver
@ryaeneolver (87)
Philippines
June 20, 2009 2:51pm CST
Hi guys, I'm just a plain housewife having two kids, a 3 yrs old daughter and an 8 months old baby boy. I owned a little drugstore which my mom gave to me, of course this is where our daily income coming from.
This problem im facing started when I gave birth of my first child, after giving birth, my husband and I went to their house for recovering myself from giving birth, after a month we decided to go home, my mother-in-law suggested that we better leave the baby temporarily until I fully recovered myself, and since no one is gonna take care of my baby while im in the drugstore, I decided to agree with her...we only see my baby once a week. a month after, I talked to my husband to get the baby from his mother, but he did not listen to me, it frustrated me, and everytime im planning to talk to his mother about the baby, she kept on saying that nobody is gonna take care of her since I always go to the drugstore everyday, I said I will hire a maid but she said its just a waste of money. Months passed and my baby was 6 months old already, I talked to my husband again about it, but he got mad,I told him that I'm gonna get my daughter whatever happens, but when i talked to his mom, she said she wont allow it for it would be very hard for her to do that,she said shes gonna give back my baby in time, so she set an schedule,the baby will stay with me for 3 days and 4 days with her until she feels that it wont be that hard for her whenever i decided to get my daughter, just because I respected her a lot, I agreed on her conditions, but this agreement was not always being followed..Until I've only seen my daughter once a week again... I've always talked to my husband about this everyday, but it always ended up in a fight... Until I decided not to talk about it anymore and planned to get pregnant again... Now, I have an 8 months old son, it feels like he is my first baby, and I really love my son a lot... I know I made a wrong decision for not fighting for my rights on my first child...Until now she's still staying with my mother-in-law and it's breaking my heart everyday, regretting for the rest of my life... I wished i did not let this thing to happen.
2 people like this
9 responses
@jayrene (2708)
• Philippines
20 Jun 09
that's really sad... and its really upsetting why your mother in law would do something like that and why would your husband not do anything about it. i am sorry about your situation... but you know you can fight for your child's custody if you really like, but it will end up having a fight with your mother-in-law and your husband.
only you can decide what you will do about the situation, i think while the child is still young she should be in your care, because it will affect her thinking why she was at her grandmas care and not yours, and later on she will feel detached. i dont know if it will come to a point that she will be brainwashed or something so she will not come to you, but i hope not. i have seen this happen in so many kids...
i hope you can still do something about this...
@ryaeneolver (87)
• Philippines
20 Jun 09
thank you jayrene, yeah you're right i can feel that my daughter and I are not that close with each other, and its so painful really... my mother-in-law said that shes giving her back when shes already 4-5 yrs. old, my daughter, although we played together whenever shes with me doensnt want to sleep with me when her grandmother is not with her....right now, im just enjoying being a mother to my youngest son, giving all the care and affection that my first daughter did not all have when she was still a baby... now whenever im with her, I always make sure that I had given all my time and affection to her, with that, she can atleast feel that she's important to me and that I love her so much.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
26 Jun 09
This child is yours and she deserves to live with you. I am not sure what your husband is trying to do, but there is no way that I would allow this to happen another day. Unless you have signed papers to give her custody, then she has no rights to keep the child. I would call an attorney or the police and tell them that I want my daughter back. It is kidnapping if she won't allow you to take her home if you haven't given her custody or guardianship and if that is what I had to do to get her back I would. Prove to your child that you love her and want her in your life!
@bdugas (3578)
• United States
21 Jun 09
There would of been no reason why you could not of taken the baby to work with you, I know many mother's that own businesses and they take their baby with them to work. I think the mother in law got attached to the child and don't want to give it back. It is YOUR child, and you have every right to it. As for your husband I don't know what to think, is it he don't want the responsibility or raising it or is it he don't want the fight with his mother. He should of went and got his child from her. Isn't there a way to settle this by going to the athorities and telling them she is keeping your child. Either way you have a fight on your hands, sorry if it was my child I would take it and if it upset her, oh wellllll too bad. Yes you let it happen in the first place and only you can change it. If you want her there are laws that say she is your and your mother in law can not keep her, but up to you if you want her enough for that fight.
@hanah87 (1835)
• Malaysia
21 Jun 09
Please...please take back your daughter from your mother in-law.I know it is a hard decision for you but i think then you will regret with your decision in the future than now.My uncle also has this problem,but his problem is not too same with your problem too much.He give his daughter and his second son too his mother,my grandmother because her wife and he need to find more money and cannot take care their own children.My grandmother is a good mother and graandmother.Even she is very tired with her duty as a wife but she still want to take care her grandchildren.My uncle's wife is very cruel,she let her my cousin in my grandmother keeping and then she hate both of them just because she feel both of them are not like her children and hate her mother in-law.Now,my cousin hate her too much because she really mean to them in everything they do.What i scared is if your daughter will hate you and not know you too much and it will hurt you later in the future even you are not guilty like my aunt.I think you should take care her back and dont leave her under your mother in-law.Thank you.
@virtualmirage (494)
• United States
21 Jun 09
This made mea really mad, your daughter should be with you .
When I child is little is when it learns to BOND and that can not happpen if the baby is with someone else, in fact she ended up bonding with your mother in law instead of you.
And what does your husband say...I cant believe this. Its strange weirs and sounds like what happenned to my mom with her first daughter but this was in Mexico over 50 years ago. I cant believe that someone would do this, your mother in law is being selfish.
If I was you I would just march on over and get my baby, thats it thats all.
@Jakywoo (102)
• China
21 Jun 09
I am sorry to hear that.I know every woman has the mother nature.I don't know how to say.But i just want to tell you that if something become a very ending,sorrow is not a good attitude.In our life,we experienced both happy and unhappy.You hold the right to make choices.
@rogue13xmen13 (14402)
• United States
21 Jun 09
I am sorry for you loss, but you have to believe that you will get her back and see her again. Your mother-in-law cannot do this to you forever.
@Ammudoll (549)
• India
20 Jun 09
Tough situation, why she is doing like that? Is she alone and single? How are the terms between you both? She doesn't like you or what? I have seen such situations here in India, In-laws and couple will stay together but mother-in law takes care of the child. Not sure what they want to do like. but they even try to mold the child to show disrespect towards the Mom. Why don't you stay together with your in-laws so that u can have the baby with you.
@chriistmas (8)
• Peru
21 Jun 09
is sad but you have tu acept that the live is unic , you have yo help to your sister
