'Hi Friends and What's Up?'
By zandi458
@zandi458 (28102)
Malaysia
June 21, 2009 3:03am CST
Have you noticed or realized that friends we have here are slowly disappearing from the face of mylot? Their once regular responses to our posts are missing and their sudden disappearance becomes a big question mark. Why aren't they keeping in touch with us anymore?
In this digital age and the deluge of online networking sites, keeping in touch with friends and families the world over would not be much of an issue. In fact, lives of those around us seem to become even more public with online status update facilities like twitter and facebook. Unfortunately, there are still most of us who take our friends and families for granted. No, not in the manner of being cruel, cold or distant but just simply by putting off what we keep saying we should and would do - call to catch up. We assume that there would always be a 'next time' or 'another day' to catch up with them. But procrastination is the worse human disease that can eventually allows the 'connection' to die a natural death. Not making an effort to listen or pay a little more attention to a certain someone might one day becomes 'too late' and this particular person decides enough is enough and walks away.
Many of us fall into these traps. We're too busy with our daily routines and too tied up trying to make it in our careers that we unconsciously put our loved ones and friends aside. Sometimes we do allow those little glimpses of guilty consciousness to seep through. To make ourselves feel better we tell them, "I have been s-o-o-o busy with work." I do not mean to sound morbid, but we cannot dictate what will happen tomorrow. Nor can we assume, take for granted or live in a clouded fog of denial about the presence of those dear to us. You'll never know if the last time you sadi Good-Bye to a person would actually be THE final good bye.
No, you don't have to constantly breath down the neck of a person taking into account of his/her every step and thought. You do not have to stalk a person to show that you're far from taking him/her for granted. The occasional "hi, how have you been" or "hey long time no see/hear, what've you been doing?" will suffice. Once a week? or possibly once a month? Make time to those closest to you from the busy schedule to talk and listen - doesn't have to be a heavy or intense discussion each time. What matters is the gesture or the effort taken to let them know that they are not sidelined and taken for granted.
I think that has been more than enough said. So, what's your excuse?
9 people like this
24 responses
@strawberrybaby39 (2086)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I don't have many friends on here. I like making friends on every site i am on. I don't get many people responding to my stuff on here. Some people just don't have patience anymore for making friends on any site. But I have made some good friends on the other sites I am on.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
23 Jun 09
There is no harm in requesting for friendships here as this is a social networking site and one of their primary aim is to make it possible for the unknown to meet the unknown. If you are interested to be my friend am more then willing to accept you as my friend. 
1 person likes this
@strawberrybaby39 (2086)
• United States
23 Jun 09
Sure I would like that very much to be your friend. If you would like to send me an add invite I will be sure to accept it. Thank you very much for ask me to be friends with you. That it very kind of you.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20216)
• United States
21 Jun 09
I have no excuse. But each time I find that it's been a while since I spoke to someone all the excuses come to mind. As you get older it becomes even more important to keep in touch. Friends and love ones are gifts to us and we must never forget that.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160626)
• United States
22 Jun 09
You are so correct that there is not a real excuse, but they come up anyway. I am not getting any younger, and neither are the ones I care about.
1 person likes this
@littleowl (7157)
•
22 Jun 09
Hi zandi, many people on my friends on myLot seem to of disappeared and there seems to be less and less discussions coming, it seems a shame as I have so many friends and hear from very few of them, only mainly people like yourself sometimes it makes me wonder if I should write down those whom I answer discussions to and those I don't then turn their notifications off as they are seem no longer to be around. What's my excuse? guess there isn't but have been ill yet have been away for a few days that is about it..and that is being honest! hugs LoLo
2 people like this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
21 Jun 09
Hi zandi~ I know that you are so right and you have made me
think. I haven't seen my mother in a very long time. There
of course, is a good reason for this, although I'm sure most
people would think that I am the most terrible daugher on
this earth. We don't get along. It is a very complicated
relationship, although I do love her she makes it very
difficult for me because she is constantly putting me down
and being verbally abuse, as she has been all my life. I
know that I "need" to see her, but everytime I get close
to going to see her something happens and she pushes me
away. I don't want to have something happen where I will
live the rest of my life with guilt. You discussion really
upset me because I do know what I need to do and am so
miserable knowing that I have no choice. As I said, it is
a very complicated matter which I can't get into. But, you
have brought it into perspective once again and I thank you,
I guess. Hugs, Opal/Leslie
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 09
Hi Opal, No matter what happened in the past that brought about this strained relationship between mother/daughter, time to think of how to normalize the relationship otherwise it will haunt you for the rest of your life when she is no longer around. For once, try to be thick face and force your way to make amends with her. Am sure she needs you when she is in a helpless situation that is when she is too old to fend for herself.
@sandymay48 (2030)
• Canada
22 Jun 09
Hi Zandi...I think people are on and off of here for various reasons...A lot like me are in our summer season now and are outside more enjoying the weather as we only get a few months of it all year. Im sure everyone has different reasons. Some people were busy with exams and finishing up school for the year, Some just have other obligations that have to be tended to. My excuse is that we have bought a new house 2 months ago, with a blank yard. We are now in summer so have basically a very short growing season to get things started. Most of our time is spent outdoors for now.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 09
This is something I learned from here that people in the west are busy once summer sets in. We have sunshine all year round and we take it for granted. Never thought of doing anything in our backyards like growing vegies. We rely so much on market buys.
@harshrosicky (626)
• India
21 Jun 09
Oh man you write a lot......i started reading what you wanted to say but then i lost you after about two lines when i saw how much you have written.....there is something about how people are disappearing from mylot and not responding much........this is true and you may get attached to someone by reading their views on life.....you also start adoring people on their thinking and how their philosophy of life but the true fact is everyone is here for money and eventually they get some active referrals and then start with some other sites....if the money is rolling automatically then why does one need to waste the "precious" time......many a times you would have had a headache after reading some pathetic discussion but forced yourself to respond because of the money.....but if you would have some referrals then you would have just "quit"......why get pain in your head......
It maybe that you have referrals and you come here just for fun.....i am talking about the majority population......
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 09
LOL...are you bored with my rumbling? Hope not. I talk a lot too and friends are never bored when they are in my company. Sorry for this long winded post and hope to make it shorter next time.
I have no referrals in mylot and am acting on my own self. Yes, I have lots of fun interacting with the worldly population of mylot. I did meet and made friends with people all over the globe through mylot but some have just disappeared after being here for few months. I don't blame them for ditching this place as the worsening economic situation pulls them away and their priorities need to be addressed first.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
21 Jun 09
Well, I do agree that many times we can tend to let other things get in the way to where we ignore our Real friends and family, and then our online friends as well. I know that for me it has happened many times for sure. But lately I do try and keep people informed more of what is going on in my life, and updates as well just so even if I am not keeping in touch as much I am still thinking about them as well.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
22 Jun 09
Hi Zandi!
You have a valid point to make that 'friends' should remain in touch, even if they are too busy to come to mylot. There are other channels to communicate and dropping a line or two occasionally is not a bad idea, so that the other one should not feel side-lined. I think disappearance of friends here from mylot has become a regular phenomenon, members attend to their other important tasks, before coming to mylot. And if they do not find time for mylot, they do not come for weeks together. Few friends are here, who keep you informed about their absence and disappearance and some do not even inform and disappear. I make it a point to inform my friends, if I am disappearing for few days and expect the same from them. Those of your friends, who have been absenting themselves, could be reminded through mails/PMs etc.
You have a valid point to make that 'friends' should remain in touch, even if they are too busy to come to mylot. There are other channels to communicate and dropping a line or two occasionally is not a bad idea, so that the other one should not feel side-lined. I think disappearance of friends here from mylot has become a regular phenomenon, members attend to their other important tasks, before coming to mylot. And if they do not find time for mylot, they do not come for weeks together. Few friends are here, who keep you informed about their absence and disappearance and some do not even inform and disappear. I make it a point to inform my friends, if I am disappearing for few days and expect the same from them. Those of your friends, who have been absenting themselves, could be reminded through mails/PMs etc.@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
22 Jun 09
Hopefully, when the 'intended friends' read your post, they will get in touch with you, sooner than later. Friendship should be nurtured at all cost and in the best possible manner.
1 person likes this
@renitaperrone (547)
• United States
21 Jun 09
I can't answer for MyLot as I don't seem to have many friends on here as I haven't spent much time here. I know I've heard discussions on other sites about people being unhappy with MyLot and how they are deleting discussions for no apparent reason, etc. But, in general, you are correct... lives are busy and we have less & less time to keep in touch with people. Sadly, finances require more work just to survive, which leaves less time for idle chit-chat. that's one of the things I love about some of the non-paying social sites. You can just post a quick thought and read other people's thoughts and feel like you've been a small part of their daily life.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 09
Being an established social site, Mylot is not as lenient as other social networking sites and has made many mylotters leave in frustrations. I hope the admin scrutinize every discussions before deleting. I have been through to that experience of having my discussions deleted for no reasons and it is really demoralizing when it happens to anyone.
@mastredawn (95)
• Trinidad And Tobago
21 Jun 09
Could it be that because of the interests that the mylot friends don't receive discussions, a lot of times I receive mylot discussions through email, only from mylot friends and then there the mylot digest, but if I were to go to mylot friends and look at their discussions started, there would be a lot that I havnt receive through email. Or maybe the friends have come onto mylot to try somthing new and now all their interest here is lost.
2 people like this
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
19 Jul 09
Hello my friend zandi458 Ji,
In my case, your observation is totally correct, I have been missing and was not in touch with you all. But reason sited by you have no bearing in my case. On 27th April, our elder son met with serious Bike accident, sustaining serious leg and wrist injury, making him bed-patient upto 7th June and we lived in hospital, but God is great, who saved his life and at present he is on walker. So I could hardly get time to come and meet with you all. At present, I am one month behind my schedule. I do not want to skip single discussion and respond to everyone, but as per turn. May God bless You and have a great time.
1 person likes this
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
29 Sep 09
Hello my friend zandi458 Ji,
I am so greatful to you that you have shown interest in my son's health and you will be happy to note that he has started going to his office since a week of his own by any support. God is great. I feel that you are more than my neighbour, like a family member. I think this isn a great community feeling. Regarding my responses, I would never skip . At present I am lagging behind 25 days. But I want to be serious and response to the point. last week i posted a discussion "EARTH COMING TO END BY 31-DEC-2012", I have about 30 responses including its sub-responses. It becomes my duty to response to each member. It may take time, but I would not like to become defaulter. Thanks.
May God bless you and have a great time.
@myfb2009 (8296)
• Malaysia
23 Jun 09
Yeah, i am also spend less time online recently when there are just too many offline household jobs to handle. Especially during my son grown-up moment. Now, he's creating a lot of extra work load for me to handle, so i am only able to online when he's asleep or playing with his cousin or parent in-law. That's why, you will find that i am always gone missing in action for most of the time. But, don't worry, to all my Mylot friends, i will always come to visit Mylot when i have the time. Maybe, after i had enrol my son into the kindy, then perhaps i will have more time to online....
1 person likes this
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
24 Jun 09
There are people who love to keep in touch,some like me will find a little time 3 times a week,, and then there are other who will maybe write once a month,, I feel everybady is different as u say we do get busy in our daily lives,,is it not true
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
24 Jun 09
The rat race world has made us run hustle and bustle leaving little time for our friends but that isn't a good excuse to let our friends in the cold. What is life without the word 'friends', just saying a 'hi' will not take away much of your time, right? And I appreciate a friend in you.
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
22 Jun 09
This is a very good discussion. Whenever I speak to a person, I always ask "How are you?" It's just the way I was taught to do, especially if they ask how I am first. Mylot does take a lot of time I've found out. I try to come here everyday and spend a lot of hours responding to discussions, responses, rating discussions, and starting some discussions myself because I want to make some money. I didn't work at it yesterday because I wanted to take a break from it (yesterday was Sunday). I enjoy Mylot, though. Kathy.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
23 Jun 09
Hi kathy, You have cultivated a friendly approach by these habitual greetings. I think only those who are interested in writing stays tune to mylot for longer time. Of course some days we do take a break from mylotting as it can become monotonous if we come here everyday.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160626)
• United States
22 Jun 09
I have missed some on here. I have also waited too long to visit people at times, especially when I did not know what to say. I live with some regrets.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
22 Jun 09
I don't think they've left us unless their profile isn't there any more but I do believe it's more like "SUMMER IS HERE" kind of thing. Gardening, grass, sightseeing, visiting are just a few ideas that I can come up with. Like hubby and I have been working in the yard and woods for a long time and finally finished it a few days ago then we have my parents that we're caring for and that's just a few things that's going on with us for there's so much more.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
21 Jun 09
GOOD MORNING ZANDI, No one can write a discussion as well as u do, I LOVE READING EVERYTHING U WRITE BUT HAVE TOLD U THIS BEFORE. You put soo much thought into them, they are great.ONE thing i think has happen to some of our friends they are just busier in the summer, are out more & not in front of the computer as much. I know when i sold on ebay it was alot slower in the summer. I hope that is the case here. I do love hearing from all my friends & like making new ones but i have alot more time to stay on the computer than working folks.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 09
Thank you for saying so....something that is so inspiring. Since we only have one season here and everyday to us is busy but still have time to spare for networking. I don't know about the western world where people welcome summer with excitement and have their agendas full of activities. That could be the reasons for communication breakdown.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
22 Jun 09
PEOPLE are out & about lot more here in the summer. I feel sure that is some of what is happening. I guess people get bored w/mylot to but it is a blessing to me. HAPPY DAYS TO U.
1 person likes this
@EliteUser (3964)
• Australia
29 Sep 09
Hey,
Yea I have actually have noticed that many of the friends that we have are actually slowly disappearing from the face of myLot, I don't exactly know why either. I also think that you do not need to talk to a person that much in order to be a friend. Make sure you have a good day, God bless and Happy Lotting!!
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
22 Jun 09
Hi zandi, what’s up? (LOL). You have raised an important topic. As you say it is all too easy to keep putting things off until we have more time. I have a friend who I meet for lunch every fortnight. She has had serious health issues ever since I met her years ago and now her condition has worsened and she is facing dialysis and brain surgery! I am so thankful that I make time for her on a regular basis.
I meet my parents, sister and niece every weekend. I think it helps if you schedule set time with the ones you care about because, as you say you never know when your goodbye will be the final one so I urge everyone to take stock of how they spend their time and allow some for the ones they love.
I have noticed some old familiar avatars are gone with the people behind them, it’s a shame...I hope to see them back...I really do...
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 09
Be it in the virtual or real world we should always be in constant contact with our friends so that the bond of friendships remain strong. Knowing your friend is sick and you have made her life a little comfortable by being around her always. life is so unpredictable, we should take each day as if it is our last day on earth.
1 person likes this
