When Quiet Partners Suddenly Explode
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
June 21, 2009 6:26am CST
Have you ever been shocked or frightened by your partner who is usually so calm, so placid, so easy going suddenly losing it? Something suddenly sets him off and the normal passive person becomes an extremely aggressive and angry person?
For example, I have always been a placid, calm, easy-going and patient guy, kind of passive too, I avoid confrontations, I avoid arguments, I just want a peaceful life, but when I was living with my ex I turned into Mr Hyde! I didn't even recognize myself, I turned into something I didn't like. I became aggressive, I started shouting, throwing things and getting extremely angry and would lose my temper at a drop of a hat. Yes my ex brought the worst out in me but believe me my ex was aggressive and angry but when my ex was so used to the placid, calm, wouldn't say boo to a goose partner who suddenly turned, well even my ex had the grace to be frightened!
Have you experienced your easygoing partner or usually placid and calm other half suddenly turning without warning?
For what reason did they explode, was it you, was it something that happened, or were they provoked. What was the catalyst and how did you deal with it?
Did they return to their good natured selfs afterwards or did they continue to be a different person with aggression, anger and short fuse being their personality instead of the lovely warm, caring, patient, placid person they used to be?
2 people like this
6 responses
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
27 Jun 09
It sounds as if your ex did not bring out the best in you, Wolfie - and vice versa. Sometimes, even though we might love a person, there is something which clashes and makes the relationship toxic. Often it's hard to realise we must let the person go - but in the end, this is the only solution. When the right person comes along, everything will fall into place, and your different personalities will mesh. It's very sad to know we would be happier without the person we think we love ... but sometimes that's the truth of the matter.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
27 Jun 09
I think for me it was letting go that was the problem in that my ex wouldn't let go of me and I had to resort to drastic measures to escape! Toxic that was an understatement! Trouble is I am still trying to deal with the fallout. I have emotions that I can't deal with, the negative ones which are probably the krux of why I am feeling so damn Cr*p at the moment.
@saw2207 (1359)
• United States
21 Jun 09
wolfie34 . .
I have experienced this and yes it is quite scary. Such a reserved and sweet man he is . .. and then to have one day woken to his "other half" was more than I wanted to see. But at first I just thought . . hmmm maybe he had a bad nights sleep . . maybe there is something really bothering him and he doesnt quite know how to express himself . .
So after I saw it one too many times I called it quits with him. Maybe it happened a half of dozen times . but it started to happen more often and in closer intervals.
There are just some things that are deal breakers for me in a relationship . and someone like this .. . is one of those things for me. Please note that I did try to discuss this with him and thought maybe he needed to talk to a professional about it.... He thought I was the one with the problem . ..
I was .. and this was one of the easier problems that I was able to solve
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
21 Jun 09
Why is it that some men with the problems refuse to admit they have a problem and blame it on their partner, my ex had terrible anger issues but it was me who seeing a counselor NOT them, they refused to admit it, whereas I needed help and knew what was troubling me so I sought help, trouble is it was my ex that drove me into the hands of the counseling in the first place, crazy eh! Sometimes it's better to be alone than in bad company.
@constaanta (571)
• Germany
21 Jun 09
I have been for years and tens of years an absolutely calm person, friendly to anybody and stable against stress of any type be it on job, in family or wherever. Around the age of 52 occurred a financial disaster around me and I started to catch tickets and penalty points on the road, shouting about tax paying and step by step my iron nerves corroded. Well, my money burnt by others had ended my equilibrium. I had to take a time out of 2 years in a foreign country, separate from my family, in order to regain my personal stability. This was the time, when I "met my Jesus" again by reading 12.000 pages of the "New Revelation" and to prepare myself for eternity. Providence led me to understand that materialistic values actually are no values at all and our mission in life is to improve our souls.
@nannacroc (4049)
•
21 Jun 09
Mr Croc has quite a short fuse anyway, he gets quite angry quickly, rarely violent, but he calms quickly too.
It's me who is usually calm and placid and, up to now, I haven't frightened Mr Croc but I did frighten the youngests boyfriend once and he wasn't even on the receiving end of the anger. Middle ones partner had raised his hand to her and I had a real go at him, not violent but I know words can do far more harm. I rarely get angry, it uses too much energy but no-one messes with my girls no matter how old they get. Mr Croc thinks I may have been a lioness at some point.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
21 Jun 09
I think I must have been a wolf! Hence wolfie, because I have so many wolfish characteristics, maybe in my next life I shall come back as a wolf! No one has ever seen me 'lose it' except my ex, and they always brought the worst out of me, I didn't even know I had a Mr Hyde! Strange how some people bring out the worst in you!
@reckon21 (3479)
• Philippines
21 Jun 09
My father is always been a quite man.
He rarely talk and avoid confrontation.
My mother is the nagger type of person.
She will get angry and would hurt my father
sometimes. Like slapping him in the arms or
back. My father would just get away from my mother
and stay in a quite corner. I never had the chance to
see my father explode in anger because of my mother's
loud mouth. Because my mother left us for another man.
So...for the duration of their marriage,my mother is the
aggressive one and my father is the passive type. Maybe
my father is the most patient and most calm man I ever known
because I never seen him explode in anger when my mom is still
with us.
@clickicy (571)
• Indonesia
22 Jun 09
Hi wolfie34,
The last think I want to do is triggering a calm man anger... Boy, that type of human being is very dangerous creature, really, no mean to offend okay, I just put the fact here!
They tend to hard to get along after a fight. Moral: dont start a fight with 'em.
When they mad-its all their emotion that play. Moral: dont argue when they do-its like talking to a concrete wall.
Ooo, they will return to normal after their anger wash away as time goes by (I mean sometimes a looooong time would be needed).
