Lesson learned?
By Barbietre
@Barbietre (1438)
United States
June 21, 2009 11:22pm CST
Sometimes men just do not get women, and the things that matter to us.
I have been married for 41 years today, last year was my 40th anniversary, and to me an important one. Apparently not so important to my husband. Not that he ever forgets a date, but he says I am hung up on actual dates. We had both started a new part time job, and when I interviewed I stressed the fact that on my Anniversary I would not be available, I made sure
I had off. He however did not bother, his attitude was we can celebrate another day. Which by the way would not have been that weekend, that week or even 2 -3 weeks later because of his schedule, my schedule and his babysitting days (he watches our grandchildren a few days a week). Mind you this is not a high paying job, just a p/t job in a retail warehouse store.
Needless to say I was fuming. He not only worked all day but would not be getting home until 10 PM, to late for anything. So I decided I was not going to sit home and be miserable. So I called my sister, told her I would take her to a play and dinner in NYC. She lives in Pennsylvania and I live on Long Island so we met in the city, got tickets at the half price booth and my sister in law joined us ( she paid her own way). We had a lovely time, but I was still hurt. But in the end he paid financially for it. We did do a tiny celebration weeks later, he took me to an amusement park, that is something I do like so that part was not so bad, but pretty low scale for such a big anniversary.
So this year I asked a few weeks ago if he had off on our anniversary this year, well, surprise, surprise, he managed to get off. Not that we have a big day planned but he has learned his lesson. If he can manage to buy presents for the family, make sure he has off for the weddings, birthdays and so on, he had better have me in there as a priority.
Right ladies?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 Jun 09
Men are strange creatures from another planet. Sometimes you have to translate for them. In this case, "our 41st anniversary is coming up" must have needed to be translated to "I want you to take that day off"...
On the other hand, if you DID say that to him and he didn't take the day off anyway, give him a big, swift kick in the rear on my behalf!!!
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 Jun 09
Nope, they don't understand. Or they don't want to and have the perfect excuse, "why didn't you just say you wanted me to take the day off?" lol
@Barbietre (1438)
• United States
23 Jun 09
Yes, sometimes you have to practically hit them over the head....or better yet, let them think they came up with the idea.
But we spent the whole day together a real rare thing, went to dinner and a movie, and next week we are going on a mini vacation to Hershey park and then Lancaster, PA to visit the Amish area ( we were there many years ago when the children were small, now we can explore without doing to many kid things except Hershey Park.. I am a kid at heart).
@Barbietre (1438)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I just wanted to gently remind him, but later I saw he asked for the day off a few weeks ago. I think his problem stems from his Mom who says oh do not worry if you forget my birthday, but what he does not realize is thsat is NOT what she is really saying.
1 person likes this
@marriedman111399 (1207)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I think that wedding anniversaries or any big day for that matter should be remembers by those closest to you. My wife made up my email address and screen name as the day we got married so I would not for get it. I think that is terrible that he did not get off that day so he could take you out and do something special on that day. I have never forgot ours and we do something every year.
@Barbietre (1438)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I sometimes think the longer we are married, the more he takes me for granted, so do not ever become complacent.
@Barbietre (1438)
• United States
23 Jun 09
If it had been an ordinary anniversary, I would have been annoyed but would have let it go.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
22 Jun 09
Hi Barbietre! I think that your husband did finally get the
message! And you were right to be upset about him not being
around for such an important anniversary as a "40th"! Those
milestones do mean something, but for some reason women seem
to think more of them then men do! I am glad that he did finally
understand and this year he will kind of make it up to you!
Sometimes it can't be helped that you can't exactly celebrate
on exactly "that" day and us women do have to try to understand
if there is a good reason like work! But, then if it is made
up to us we can feel better about! I hope that this year you
have the wonderful anniversary celebration that you truly deserve!
@Barbietre (1438)
• United States
23 Jun 09
What really annoyed me was the fact that he was given a choice as to when to start this job, and again it is a very small job a few days a week.He is retired, gets money from his retirement funds, so he can pick and chose what he does with his time.
@jellymonty (2352)
•
22 Jun 09
lol I gave up on men remembering anniversaries and birthdays. Its just their nature I guess and we girls need accept that either they dont remember or we give them tips to remember. I think we give ourselves a heartache and should just learn to accept that nothing we can do to make them remember or cherish our important day.. but if your husband hasn't already said it to you then HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
@Barbietre (1438)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I would have forgiven him more easily if he did forget, but he did not forget, he did leave me a card on my laptop that day.
@cobra1368 (702)
• United States
22 Jun 09
I completely agree, girl! My husband is already doing it, and we've only been married for three years! We just had our 3rd anniversary last month. I bought us a couples' massage, and I got him a card.
I didn't get squat! I mean, nothing. Nothing! Not even a freaking card!
Yeah, sometimes men are pretty brainless. But they do learn their lesson. Especially with us breathing down their necks all the time about it. I think I made him feel guilty enough not to let another anniversary pass without at least some acknowledgement! I mean, he did want to marry me after all, does that mean nothing anymore?
Ugh! 
@Barbietre (1438)
• United States
23 Jun 09
I think they just take us for granted, and you know even after 41 years it still takes 2 to make a marriage.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
22 Jun 09
that is wonderful that he finally learned, good going, mine is so absent minded that it is a wonder he remembers his own name.
@Barbietre (1438)
• United States
23 Jun 09
He never forgets, we have calendars and phones with appointment schedulers in them.
@chingmerry (414)
• China
22 Jun 09
you mean your hubby revenged for your action at last anniversary?actually i really dont know what kind of feelings for each other when you have lived for 40years.my hubby and i have lived for almost 10years.i think at least we know each other very much at present.but i still dont know whether i would more familiar with him or i would find oneday that i am not familiar with him year by year.i still dont know whether i also cann't understand his act oneday in future.
@Barbietre (1438)
• United States
23 Jun 09
We still love each other, but men seem to take their wives for granted.
