Will you accept to be a secret lover? SECOND VIOLIN?
By icesmile
@icesmile (7160)
Romania
June 22, 2009 2:44pm CST
I f you love so much somebody, you will accept to be a secret lover? Will you accept if your lover don t want to show all world that he or she love you?
Will you be offended if your lover don t like to go in front of people with you..for a reason or other?
Can you be the second violin in a relation, if he ask you this?
2 people like this
18 responses
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
22 Jun 09
Hi, Ice!
There is no way I could accept cheating or being cheated on, so I wouldn't play second fiddle to anyone. If John were not totally committed to only me, I'd walk away and let him find his happiness. I'm certainly glad he is that committed, though!
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
22 Jun 09
Well, of course! The right person is out there somewhere fir everyone. Most of the time, they come along when least expected. I even know a few really, really happy couples who were matched by online dating sites. Are your expectations realistic? Are you open to pleasant surprises? What about old friends with whom relationships might change? Never give up on yourself, my dear!
1 person likes this
@pbrockington (500)
• United States
22 Jun 09
I could not be a secret lover. My sons father I know he loves me but he dose not love me more then his other childs mother. but she did not want a life with him. I will admit he is hard to live with but I could not play seconds. I think everyone should have a person love them fully and freely. When a person loves another they never are totally yours.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
22 Jun 09
Secret lover means big problem. In 99.9% happen when 3rd person is involved.
I wouldn't accept secret lover position. I rather to be single than be kept in dark...and as the person in the triangle...
1 person likes this
@nrn2003 (661)
• United States
25 Jun 09
I would NEVER do that. and no one ever should do that to you. If they truly love you they will show it to anyone and everyone in the world. They wont want to hide you. I dont care what their reasoning is. It is not acceptable.
@jen_barre (104)
• United States
22 Jun 09
No, I wouldn't accept that...there's some reason he's hiding me and I would be offended.
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
11 Nov 12
It could be a tough situation but if it would mean keeping our relationship safe, then I would comply to what he wants.
@rainmark (4302)
•
23 Jun 09
Well i think even i love him so much i need to let go. I will go away and move on my life better that way that be a second lover or a relationship breaker.
Coz i don't want to hurt the girl and ruin thier relationship specially when they were married.
Happy posting.
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
23 Jun 09
honestly nope, in a relationship, i am quite possessive lol..i want to be the one and only and he must not be ashamed to tell it to the world! so..its a big no-no.
@dismalgrin (2604)
• United States
24 Jun 09
It depends on the situation. If he is just shy, I can deal with that. But, if he is in a relationship with someone else, or makes it clear that he is in some way ashamed about something about me then I do have a problem with that. It I am in a relationship with someone else, then I wouldn't even be in this situation in the first place because I refuse to cheat.
@channelchang (3)
• China
23 Jun 09
actually i may be this kind of lover,for i'm a lil shy.i hope my boyfriend would understand it,if there's any.Hmmm...but there may be other reasons.some people want their lovers to be secret just because they pretend to be single,thus attracting other opposite sexes.
@angelajoy (1825)
• Philippines
23 Jun 09
I will never, under any circumstances, accept being a second violin and a secret lover. What kind of a relationship is that if you don't really commit yourself to a person? I want a meaningful relationship, and that's something that you can't just get anywhere and from anyone. Before I committed myself to my partner I really made sure that he wants the kind of relationship that I do.
@carrotman92 (446)
• United States
23 Jun 09
depends, i dont know, i might and i might not accept to be a secret lover, i am not really sure! if she dont want to go out in public with me, then i might feel alitte offended. but thats just me!
@ptcholic001 (59)
• Indonesia
23 Jun 09
i won't do it. many person is still single in this world. don't worry, you will find someone love you so much. just pray, everyone has their own destiny
@maple_kisses (2156)
• Philippines
23 Jun 09
I have accepted the fact that my boyfriend will never be proud of me. It's ok, I can dig it. I don't blame him, I am not legally separated yet though my ex-husband ditch me 5 years ago. I also have a son from another man who also ditched me after having me pregnant. And now I'm in a relationship wherein my boyfriend isn't really proud of showing me off to his friends and relatives. It's ok, I can live with it.
@ds6413 (2070)
• United States
23 Jun 09
Hello icesmile, first off I would have a hard time even dating someone who was already with a g/f. If I did I would have to remind myself it was not real so I wouldn't put my feeling into a relationship. And if he left his g/f or wife how could I eveer trust someone who cheated on the wife or g/f in the first place. My motto is "if he cheats with you he will cheat on you" 
@marianna45 (1399)
• Romania
22 Jun 09
Never, let s say that i know when somebody want to hide a relation, not because have other relation, just because don t want to accept in front of other people that he can love a woman. Was a stupid, he lose something that never can give again...so when you are afraid to show your relation in public, you must take some risks too...risk to lose who you love..
