navy life

Hi, I was in that same situation some years ago, when I was younger like you are now, and I was surprised at how many women would try to convince me my husband would cheat on deployment , even though they had no proof whatsoever that he would do this. And you are right, everyone who tried to tell me this had had a bad experience with her husband. When I would ask how they knew my husband would cheat as well they would say something like, "All sailors cheat away from home." I never saw any proof of this cheating so I learned to ignore this talk. You are doing the right thing right now with schooling, getting a part-time job, filling up your days, finding support with the other military wives and so on. Deployment is very hard on a military spouse and you don't really understand the ups and downs of it until you've actually been through that (or other similar experiences where spouses have to be separated for months at a time). It's hard when they leave, but sometimes when wives spend too much time alone, especially with the loneliness, they will start to worry more and believe more what others tell them. So staying busy like you are is best. In the meantime, just trust your own gut instinct. Remember, you know your husband better than anyone there does. Chances are pretty good you would know more than anyone whether something is wrong or not. Military wives are strong and some of the best people on earth, and I'm still friends with a lot of people we met in the military, but some of the other wives during deployment did want to make me think for whatever reason that my husband would automatically cheat once he was out of my sight for that long. I never saw any proof of that, and sounds like you and your husband have good open communication. That's the strongest point you can have in a new marriage of any type but especially a military marriage where separations from your spouse can be more the norm than being able to be together as much as you would like. Your friend probably doesn't mean any harm, she probably thinks she is helping you "see things the way they are." Don't even try to argue with her when she says these things. Just smile and shrug it away and just decide it's her problem, not yours. You're never going to convince her she is wrong, she is going to believe she is right no matter what you say just due to her bad experience. Just shrug it off and smile and ignore this when she starts this, maybe change the subject, and then just accept her good points as a treasured friend. Good luck. I wish you the best.