Could I get an opinion/answer?

Wow sounds like me before my FIRST marriage! Your not going to like this answer. I'm wasting my time giving it ( but I'll make a couple pennies for it) the reason I'm wasting my time is two fold, one is you can;t learn from others mistakes, the other is you already have your mind made up! There is no such thing as a mature 19 or 20 year old! Mature come with age, period. Balancing a check book, hell when I went to school we had to learn that in 10th grade. I love to cook and have been cooking since I was 15 years old, what does that have to do with maturity? I love your statement "I am not the type to just divorce someone over frivolous things" ? What exactly does that mean? You would divorce over non frivolous things? Now that shows real maturity! Sorry lad if I were you I'd hang in there and ripen a bit more! tdemex

Only you can know when you are ready and when you have "the one". My wife and I started dating in High School and KNEW we wanted it to be forever from a pretty early point. We waited until after college and life is good: beating the odds, as everyone says. 17 years married and 22 years together this Fall. Obviously you are not rushing into this so it sounds like you are doing well. PS- everybody has "issues". It is how you choose to live that defines you.

Most probably your or whomever parents are in the same situation as yours, may want to prevent a bad marriage to happen and try to avoid you or whomever is in your place, the repercusions. Why this might happen? Experience, their own, they may be seeing a reflection of them in yourself, might even be traumatic for some people. But between that and what reallity is, nobody can experiment on someone else's head, you know what I mean? I believe that one can be so mature at a very young age, but that doesn't make that person ready for the world, specially when there's love involved ... can you define what love is? If you can and you're realistic about it, you should know as well that without being materialistic, in the real world you'll need far more than just a pot to piss in. Another thing, when you say your dad not being there when you were little and mom's to take the fault, that kind'a tells something about your needs, regrets and how you are fullfiling them. At the same time, there's only one way to find out if this relationship is meant to be, do whatever it is you need to do, responsibly, honestly and most important: communicate.

Hi BeccaM, It sounds as though you have already made your decision, and it's not my intent to rain on your parade in any way, but wow!, when I look back to when I was your age (I'm 50 now), I wanted to be free until my 30's at least. Knowing how to run a household and relating with someone everyday under the same roof are totally different. There are so many fish in the sea, that I'm glad I didn't take marriage proposals when I was young. Looking back, I know how much I would have regretted settling down too soon. Some young marriages do work out, but they are rare, please be careful with such a big life changing responsibility, and take your time. Thanks for listening.

By what I can tell, you do seem mature for your age :) People probably just don't want you to get hurt if this man leaves you :( If someone who you think is your life long lover then leaves you after one or two years, you may be afraid to find love again and don't want to get hurt :( Giving up on finding love would be terrible for a woman so young and with such a future ahead of her :)

My parents got married when my mom was 18 and he was 20...they have been together for almost 40 years. My mother was raised in a similar scenario-she was well prepared for life. Though neither of them attended college, they still had many obstacles to face. Personally, if he is the right man, there will never be a wrong time to get married or engaged. If its right, its right.

An engagement and living together are two different things. I can understand the engagement, I was engaged to my first husband at seventeen, but I went to college, he went to the Navy. We married at twenty, and though I considered myself all kinds of mature, we still had lots of struggles. One of the things we had going for us is that we lived many many miles from either family, and we had to rely on each other, and also learn to work through our difficulties. I did tons of growing up after we got married. Sometimes there is a reason for a situation like this. I tell people that I met my husband and married young was because he was to die young, forty three. I look back at how much I grew up the first ten years of our marriage. I continue to grow up. I am like you and do not like the amateur psychologists that are everywhere. I encourage you to always be ready to grow up some more. It does sound like you had a practical upbringing.

I know what you mean. There are young couple out there that don't make it, but that doesn't mean that a person isn't 'mature' enough for a relationship to continue building on it. What happens if they were never ready to settle down to begin with. They are in love with the idea of being in love. My daughter is 18 and is talking marriage. I have no problem with this because i know her and know her young man. The difference here, is she's a young woman and he's a young man, not some kids playing around with the idea of playing house. Young relationships don't usually last, but not every relationship should be doomed because of the majority. I understand what you're saying and I feel for you. You are a young adult that is going into this with your eyes open, not a young girl that in pictures the little white house with the pickette fence thinking all is well as long as you're married. Don't let people get you down. You know who you are and who you are in your own relationship. They can't accept you for being a young adult, so it's their loss, not yours.

I don't know But 19years old get married .Is that a little early.you and i in the same age.but i look like a child.not mature.i think you should take care of this.maybe you can get married with this man after your finished your college.is my own opinion.i hope you don't mind.if you really like this man i think nothing can stop you..Good luck.

Hi Becca When I was 17 I got married.. Had people saying those kind of questions, and many more.. I would say congrats, that you found someone to spend the rest of your life with!! The one piece of advice I wish I would had when I got married was; marriage is the next step of a relationship.. There is a lot more to it, but if you are in love and have a great relationship its worth it!!! Just remember that you too are you, there is a possiblity that the both of you will change through the years.. The way to keep it together is to keep communication flowing between the two of you.. and if you are planning on having children in the future, just remember that having your first child will add extra stress on the relationship.. I am not saying its worth it.. Just be prepared for some extra bumps in the road.. So what ever you do be happy with yourself, and your hubby.. GOOD LUCK You can DO IT.. Don't worry about what others are saying, its your choice, not there's.

if you really love him and he really loves you, then marry him. Give time to think so that you won't regret your decision. You are still young.

I think that they say this because during your 20's you go through this change. I am 28 and I think that I married too young at 24. Of course I am divorced.... Some people marry young and stay together forever. Most people change and do not realize how much they have changed until they hit 30. Dating people also allows you to really figure out what you want out of life and a partner. It would be best if you plan on waiting until graduating college. If you are still together after you graduate, then I will give you a thumbs up. College will test your relationship. Good luck.

hi becca i jus wanted to say that every1 on this page is right ur 19 with a good head on ur shoulders........ i mean marriage is a big step in life i think u should think hard about it........ u r very mature for ur age............ if ur relationship now is going good then i say go 4 it......... jus remember that sometime things won't go the way people plan............. jus keep that in mind....... i know... i've been with my man for 4 yrs everything was going great with us until i gave birth to our son like 2 yrs ago everything went down hill we been engaged for a year now it's not going the way i plan......... but ne way i jus wanna say good luck ...........

well... to tell you the truth, I'm not pro marriage whether you're still young or old enough to do it. Don't get me wrong. I believe in marriage but I do not believe in getting married. But as we are talking about your case, well, whether or not to get married depends on the persons involved (i.e. the couple) no matter how old or young you are (as long as you're on the legal age). BUT (there is always a big BUT in every situation) remember that if you really want to get married it is better that you do it FOR THE RIGHT REASONS. You also may be mature enough but marriage is a tricky thing. No matter how mature a person is, or how mature you think you are, there is a possibility that it may not work out or there may come a time that you realize that you got married too early or there are things that you never got to do when you were single that you realized you want to do, etc. etc. Because a lot of married women actually realize these things after they got married or even years after. I am not keeping you from your decision whatsoever. I am just stating what could happen if ever you do get married. But there is also a chance that it won't happen. That you will be genuinely happy and won't regret anything, which we hope is what will happen. If you're mind is made up and nothing will change it, then go ahead. Congratulations on your engagement by the way. :) But I would just like to suggest something which can help (or maybe not). Why not try to live with him for quite some time before tying the knot? I know some people may disagree with me, but just try to do things that a couple does and see for yourselves. Like sharing the bills, buying groceries for the both of you, etc. The experience can help you once you get married. But then again, it's still really difficult to foresee what will happen when you do. In the end, it really depends on the both of you. It is important that you compromise, meet each other in the middle for it to work. No matter how young or old you are.