I want to change my situation

Well buddy just remember this "nothing is permanent except CHANGE" so every body at some point or the other should change and it is a must for the benefit of an individual. Well in your case it is not going to be an overnight change, so it will take some time and please be patient. And guess what "YOU ALREADY STARTED TO CHANGE AND THAT INTENTION MADE YOU JUST POST THIS DISCUSSION" you are surely going to change and there is absolutely nothing to worry. A piece of advise that don't wait start acting now and follow your intuition. Aim high like stars and you will surely land on moon at least. Be consistent and determined. keep your goals fixed and then don't deviate and the world will follow you. Every thing will be fine. Keep Smiling Take care.

You don't really state much details. Though my suggestion to you is, get a job, get out in the workforce. Sure you can make friends in school and such, but a lot of good trustworthy friends can come from any job. My job has helped my social problems so much better then school ever has.

Hi there Pine Tree! I think that you should start changing little by little. No one can totally change over night and that wouldn't be healthy at all. I think that the simplest, smallest thing that you can do is to smile more often. It would make your face look lighter and will make other people think that you're approachable and friendly.

Dear, first of all "no man is an island" - this means we are not alone and when you said that you are alone - this is false dear. You have God with you, you have your confidence and if you take me as a friend as from now, then I am with you too. Having many friends don't make life easier and better dear....it is having genuine and sincere friends that make life more beautiful...even if you have only 1 or 2 but sincere friends - this is enough, then you will not lack any more friendship...Life will be beautiful...You well said that it's not easy to trust a new person...you can start decorating your life as from now....know people, real or virtual, understand them, give them some time for a chat...in this way you will discover them....with time, you will trust them....and by the time you will trust them, they will not be new to you- they will be well-known to you..Your solutions are in your hands dear....start from now, give life a chance...and the first step is to change your way of seeing life....see life as an opportunity, not as a weakness....don't hope, make it happen.....!!!Target people you are knowing online, try to be good friends with them...and among a list of friends, maybe you will find only 1 or 2 sincere friends. Something is better than nothing...so give this a try dear...I am with you too.. Best of luck dear

No one can guaranty the actions of another. If you are not willing to give the benefit of the doubt about people, can you ever see the goodness in anyone?? Life is about risks but without risks, we can never grow. It's not a bad thing to lose or fail as long as you learn from it all. All winners are losers too. They just focus on the winning and see the positive in life. If you are truly lonely, remember unconditional love is the best thing around. Give it to everyone and you will attract it back to yourself! You see. There is no problem here. I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!

Change is good - well the kind that you're looking for. I was like you once, though I can't say I've changed much (or a whole lot) I've taken a lot more steps. I must say. I can't really tell you what your problem is because I don't know you - only you know yourself. But self-assessment would be good for you. Try and figure out why you feel the need to be a wallflower - are you insecure? Just shy? Whatever! Figure it out - and work it out from there. I like to read psychology today (psychologytoday.com) - they have articles about personalities and such. Once you've figured out a lil bit of why you act the way you do. You can figure out what you need to do in order to change. Another one - what do you enjoy the most? Join a club in your area regarding your hobbies. For example, me - I like to run so I would join a running club. Though I'm not part of a running club yet - I met this cool chic at the gym and we're now good friends! Good luck -and remember, change is good!

You know, you remind me of myself. I was in the same condition. Have lots to do, but don't know when to do it, in what order and how to do everything. All of these have been my concerns. There are a lot of people whom we call friends but only a few of them are trustable. What you need buddy is a friend. A friend who'll be very true to you and tell you whats good and whats not. You'll eventually start knowing whats going on and how you should handle it !

I want to change my situation! Hello Pinetree, Just wanted to say that the first thing that you can do to change your situation is to acknowledge that you have a problem. I love you honesty, I can't tell you exactly what to do but it's always good to try to surround yourself with loving and trusting friends. It seems like in this world, everybody is so career driven. It's almost as if we put career first then family and friends next. I wonder if you are a believer? I can honestly say that being a believer has helped to make a difference for me. Anyhow you will get a feel for good and bad people. It mostly comes with age. If you find people that you really like, just ask them if they will add you to their friend list. Some of them you might even want to meet up with in real life. I"m not suggesting it but it's totally up to you. Anyhow just continue to show yourself friendly and you will make lots of new friends. If you need further help you might want to consider consulting with a counselor. They can offer you some really good advice. I"m happy to meet you and I'm happy to be your friend. Take care and stay peacful!

I have a great idea for you. Work on personal development and relationship building. I would like to invite you to join a group I am in for just this kind of thing. It is free to participate, there is some work involved, book report type stuff, and talking on the phone to 400 of your "closest friends" in a totally positive encouraging atmosphere, though, if you can not call in due to money restraints on your phone bill, you can use skype, or listen to the calls, because we record them for review. If you are interested, simply send me a personal message. I make this offer to anybody who reads this post. Aside from that, I will be your friend also, you can ask me any question you like, and I will give you my answer as I see it. We can learn about each other, and help increase one another's confidence and positivity. Cheers.

I'm not a psychiatrist, but I play one on the internet. *rimshot* Seems to me like you have trust issues. I came to this conclusion because you mentioned it was difficult for you to trust people you don't know. Normally, I'd have to charge you $300 for that synopsis alone. I'm in a good mood though, so this one's on the house! In all seriousness, your situation sounds a lot like my situation. I've been burned by peope who I thought were my friends in the past. My outlook on the world around me is more than just a tad bit cynical. One thing you have to remember is that people can't derail any aspect of your life. Your thoughts end up doing that instead. Don't dwell on things that may have gone wrong in the past. Just live in the now, and don't worry about what may happen or what has already happened. If you live in the now, you'll find it a lot easier to fraternize with, and become friends with other people. I hope this post will be of some help to you. I'm not afraid to admit this advice was lifted(or "remastered", seeing as I'm not quoting the man word for word) from one of Wayne Dyer's books.

Did you know that the negative emotions you have for other people is not really for them, its you. Like what you said, you find it hard to trust other people or new person, its actually you , you dont trust yourself, you dont trust yourself that people like you or that new person will like. you dont trust yourself that people see you as nice person, you dont trust yourself that you are lovable. The first thing you should is to love yourself and trust yourself. I know its hard and i know you will disagree but try it, there is no harm in trying. Tell yourself every morning that you love and trust yourself and smile. smile when you wake up in the morning, in front of the mirror. By the way, try reading inspirational books. it will help with what you feel right now.

You said you have some friends I am sure they have other friends. Maybe you could have a get together with your friends and have them invite their friends you do not know. If you have your friends around and meet the new people it will be easier to make new friends. I was a shy person when I was younger but as I got older I grew out of it and meeting new friends came easier to me.

Oh my God, seems you have isolated yourself from the world. This will never help you survive girl, you need to expose yourself to the world, get to know people, make friends, some acquaintances to fill in that void in your social life. Don't just sit back and think its not easy to trust a new person as you'll never know a person if you haven't talked to him/her. How can you judge a person without knowing about him, and there are so many people who aren't frank on their first meeting. Just go out, meet people and you'll see a new life.

The simple fact that you have posted online about wanting to change is a step in the right direction. I would suggest that instead of trying to trust some as soon as u meet them, just hold off on worrying about that and have some fun first. If they are the kind of people you should trust, it will happen naturally, with little effort on your part. It may take some time, but eventually if you enjoy being around someone, you will grow to trust them. The best advice I can give is just go out and meet new people and don't even worry about trusting them. Just be yourself and see what happens.

I been there long time ago,I had to talk walk God in order to trust ,pray, and wait.Life is to be lived !I left on a plan to ca one way.12 years there and many states later lesson learned there just one way to go ...live life without fear.Iam now a firefighter .no fear !~