Changing Yourself
By crazyredhead
@crazyredhead (954)
United States
June 26, 2009 10:57pm CST
Have you ever felt like you changed and really wanted to change back?
When I moved away from home - I became extremely focused on my goals. I have very specific goals and have dates that I wish to reach them on. Normally, being focused would not be a problem. I have however come to realize that being as focused as I am has made me become an extremely controlling and bossy person which I do not want to be. Does anybody know how I can take care of this? And just saying "relax" or "go with the flow" does not help me because it is not that simple. It took me a lot of work just to let my boyfriend pick the CD on our hour long road trip yesterday.
I have an issue, help me resolve it?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@thyst07 (2079)
• United States
27 Jun 09
You know, I kind of have the same problem. I moved away from my home state a couple of years ago, left behind all of my friends and family, and found myself in a situation where I just want to get done with school so that I can move on with my life and go somewhere other than here. My personality has changed quite a lot, and not really in ways that I like.
I guess that consciously recognizing the ways in which we've changed is a good first step. Maybe the next step is just to take a bit of a time out- a day or even part of a day to set aside the goals that we're so focused on, and make an effort to cultivate the personality traits that we want. In your case, maybe you could go out for a special day with your boyfriend, and make a rule for yourself that he gets to decide things. If you can do it for a day, it may become easier to do it at other times. And now that I've said that, I guess I need to schedule a day to take my own advice. :-)
1 person likes this
@crazyredhead (954)
• United States
27 Jun 09
I like the idea of going out for a day and having him make the decisions. I guess I think it would be easier if he had his license and a car. I am going to try really hard to change back to the way I used to be. I used to be so "go with the flow" and now I'm "NO, IT HAS TO BE DONE THIS WAY!" and I hate it.
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
28 Jun 09
That's kind of funny the way you put it but most people go through that at some point or other in life. You just have to relax and not take certain things as seriously.
It really is that simple; think of the sereneity prayer and just do it. Just like meditation takes a certain kind of focus learning when and how to (when is very important) relax and not sweat the small stuff is good for your health!
Make a conscious decision about the change you want and just choose to be that way and you will. You just lost a bunch of weight; how long did it take for you to get focused on that and see it actually start to happen? You made a commitment and you stuck to it. Simple, just not easy.
Understand that the more you try to control life the more it will end up controlling you and learn how to let things go that are not important or that do not concern you. As soon as you do it a couple times you will like it and you'll keep doing it. It is like learning to say no and not feeling bad about it.
