How many people have actually took 1yr.to themselves?
By debster65
@debster65 (53)
United States
June 29, 2009 6:44am CST
Hi,
I am a new user her to My lot . I ask this question only because I never took this advice From my friends. I always felt I had to have someone a man to validate who I was.After being in along term relationship that lasted 6yrs I was wiped.I haven't really been in one since. At first this was not my choice. I kept saying to myself what the heck is wrong with me? Not until I got totally honest with myself, did I find that I am OK with out having a man on my side.
Today I know what I want from a relationship,I have boundary's which I never had before . Taken a 1yr or so was one of the best things i could do for myself. I know who am, what I like and what I will not put up with . I learned to love myself . I realized that I have to come first ( in a healthy way )or nothing else will work. Learning to love myself first I believe is a Big KEY to a long lasting healthy relationship and not in just an intimate one, but with all my relationships . I would really like some feed back on this topic .
Thank you & please feel free to add me as a friend
1 person likes this
3 responses
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
29 Jun 09
Hi debster65,
I think you have done the right thing, yes have to love yourself before you can love again, whatever the relationships you were in, its a learning curb, its life don't beat your self up or don't let anyone take away your self-esteem, as I have often seen this on my friends years ago and I would never let that happen to me. I got married when I was 27 years old and now I have been married for 29 years, I've had lots of heartbreaks in my time and once I had a boyfriend for 6 years before we left me for someelse. You are brilliant and just enjoy been single for a while and be happy.
Tamara
2 people like this
@lawana_f (326)
• United States
29 Jun 09
I felt that way for awhile, but after my second marriage I promised my children I would not remarry until that were grown. They had enough stepmothers that I promised not to give them another step-parents to deal with.
The first year was hard, but the second year was easier, and now that they are all grown I have finally decided to date again. It is hard on some of my kids even now. But they will be happy for me when they realize that they are not goiing to loose me to some man.
After living over 10 years without a man in my life, simply living for my children for all of their lives it is hard on them now, but not as hard as it would have been when they were younger. They had many step mothers.
I know know what I want in a relationship and have founf someone I think I can have that with. I am happy that I waited. It showed my children that they can be strong independent women and they are. They are all married and two have professional
2 people like this
@meandmy3 (2227)
• United States
29 Jun 09
I have done that before, It was after my divorce from my first husband, I in fact took two years off to myself. to just be single and have fun. to make certain that I was in fact really ready for a new relationship and had given my self time to heal from my divorce. It was a great time in my life. I had so much fun, and really enjoyed time with my friends and well myself.
