Desperately seeking Nigel
By Wizzywig
@Wizzywig (7847)
June 30, 2009 7:06pm CST
My friend has sent a wedding invitation to me and 'guest'. She said I could take my son or 'anything'. I asked if it would be OK to take a small giraffe called Nigel - and this was, indeed acceptable to her on the understanding that he would not drink enough alcohol to cause him to be unsteady on his legs. My problem now, is that I don't actually have a small giraffe, never mind one called Nigel, in my circle of aquaintances. Does anyone know where I can find him?? ... none of this fobbing me off with one of your spanked pandas on stilts with their neck stretched either!!
1 person likes this
4 responses
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
1 Jul 09
This is an extremely smart move if you ask me! 
Low maintenance, no pressure to start or continue a conversation; and you get two of everything without Nigel ever complaining or getting funny about any of it! Being able to find him presents a serious challenge though because you've committed yourself now and can't turn back. Have you looked in the airing cupboard? What about behind the DVD rack just to the side of the National Geographic documentaries? If these locations come up empty, my last bit of advice is to ring around all the mental institutions. If Nigel's a popular choice for wedding dates, he's probably depressed and being monitored. I'd be depressed to if I was used like this on a regular basis! Does he even have a chance of getting some action? Poor little fellow. 
Low maintenance, no pressure to start or continue a conversation; and you get two of everything without Nigel ever complaining or getting funny about any of it! Being able to find him presents a serious challenge though because you've committed yourself now and can't turn back. Have you looked in the airing cupboard? What about behind the DVD rack just to the side of the National Geographic documentaries? If these locations come up empty, my last bit of advice is to ring around all the mental institutions. If Nigel's a popular choice for wedding dates, he's probably depressed and being monitored. I'd be depressed to if I was used like this on a regular basis! Does he even have a chance of getting some action? Poor little fellow. 1 person likes this
There'll be a few freaks masquerading as giraffe's by the way, so be prepared for that.@James72 (26790)
• Australia
1 Jul 09
Craigslist is probably the best place to start because giraffes can reply with photo's! I can only assume that any car owned by a giraffe would be a convertible too, which is pretty damn cool actually! Given that you're a self confessed weirdo yourself then, will you be dancing "freak to freak" instead of cheek-to-cheek at the wedding? (The cheek-to-cheek would be impossible with a giraffe anyways unless you wanna dance pressed up against it's butt cheeks) 
I can only assume that any car owned by a giraffe would be a convertible too, which is pretty damn cool actually! Given that you're a self confessed weirdo yourself then, will you be dancing "freak to freak" instead of cheek-to-cheek at the wedding? (The cheek-to-cheek would be impossible with a giraffe anyways unless you wanna dance pressed up against it's butt cheeks) 1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
1 Jul 09
Obviously, the next best thing to owning a convertible myself is to be chauffeur driven by a suave sophisticated giraffe... (actually, he doesn't even need to be suave or sophisticated - I dont think I'm in a position to be that picky!!)
A "self-confessed weirdo" ???? What DO you mean ... 
and how do you know that I'm not tall enough to dance cheek to cheek?? Remember I have requested a small giraffe and I could be over 6 feet tall for all you know. Or, I could hang onto his neck and swing round in large circles scattering confetti... or dress in a silver sparkly dress and be the disco mirror ball thingy ... or, or, or .... - either way, I'll be sure to post the photos after the event
and how do you know that I'm not tall enough to dance cheek to cheek?? Remember I have requested a small giraffe and I could be over 6 feet tall for all you know. Or, I could hang onto his neck and swing round in large circles scattering confetti... or dress in a silver sparkly dress and be the disco mirror ball thingy ... or, or, or .... - either way, I'll be sure to post the photos after the event1 person likes this
@sujitcool2007 (2)
• India
1 Jul 09
i think i dont know where nigel is but i can help you if you meet me....
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
1 Jul 09
When you do finally find a giraffe named Nigel and invite him to the wedding, I hope he accepts. Then, you can put a video camera on top of his head and get a unique perspective wedding video for the happy couple.
Unfortunately, the only Nigels I know are fictional people on television shows. I suppose we could ask the writers to write a fantasy sequence where one of them becomes a giraffe and goes to the wedding with you. 
Unfortunately, the only Nigels I know are fictional people on television shows. I suppose we could ask the writers to write a fantasy sequence where one of them becomes a giraffe and goes to the wedding with you. 
