Should husband lets the wife manage his salary?

Okay, I understand your situation. Well, it seems that you did not really like her to quit her job. Just curious, is there any reason why she quit her job? From what I see from your description, she seems to mind a lot on this loss of income. Have you ever thought that it may be better for her to resume working, at least some part-time working, so that she will at least get some income to spend for herself? You may want to talk to her about this possibility too...

Thanks, your case similar as mine in early days. I thinks once the woman works and earn some income, she shouldn't quit the job. Every woman like to have their own income for their own needs eg: shopping.My wife, she used to work and the income all for her personal needs. Since day 1 of married, my account is joint with hers and all my saving transfered to her personal account. But when she stop working, she lost her personal income and she feel stupid if have to depend on me and asked me. Yes it is joint account but psychology is not hers. When the saving on her account depleted she become worry,in fact when I got a bonus I share part of it with her. She ever told me she want to see regular income bank in to her account and if I care to her there is no reason for me not to bank in my salary to her. I feel pity & sad for her and immediately I asked my company to bank in to her account except my company expenses / reimbursement bank in to my joint account.

Classic reason got kids, looking after the kids. But once yoou stop working for years, it is not easy to re-enter the workforce. For woman to giving up the career need mentally to be prepared.

hehehe...i think you are right paying! if you save some for yourself "without her knowledge" it might lead you to a trouble...coz even if you have good intention in doing so...she will still think that you are not honest to her and you are hiding something from her aside from the money...hehehe well its the sad truth! for some atleast...

Honesty in relationship is important. But my father told me don't be always too honest to your partner. Yeah, canot give her a nice surprised gift :-(

I expected the guy will give this answer. The word "without her knowledge" is a big problem. I did have some saving with intention one day will give to her as present when reach certain amount. But when she notice I have extra money without her knowledge, she though I'm going to hide some money. Now I can't buy some gift for her and she is not happy :-(

Thanks Dalia, creating a joint account is a good things I did this also but not good enough for our case. I read an article that even in US in 1950's-1960's the family situation was similar like some countries in Asia, where woman stay at home looking after the kids & husband. The wife has a trust on the husband that he will look after her & kids. And interestingly it was teach in the US school something like home economic subject. If you have this mind set, as a woman you don't have to know and you won't interested in your husband income. My late mother never know how much was my father income and she didn't bother. My father will ensure the income is enough for the family if necessary he will take another job or look for other source of income. But in presence day,my wife look at my father as a stingy husband. :(

Thank for your opinion and sharing experience. I'm not that good husband.If i 'm good, should be able to manage this situation like your hubby. When she stop working, I did not make any plan to let my wife become the custodian of my income amd how to manage it. I just want to make her feel secure to see some money flow to her account without make her aware its not all hers. Since day 1 of married I'm the one who always settle the bills, and her salary was for her. The situation change when she is not working, I thinks she has difficulty to adjust and to see the fact that almost 40% of it will flow back to me.

ah okay...i think she will not learn if she will not experience doing the budget at home...i mean i think you should involve her in paying the bills so that she'll understand that its not easy! its true that after stopping going to work its really somehow difficult to adjust when it comes to money matters but again...you can still do something...talk to her nicely and make her understand the situation and maybe you can do some adjustments in budgeting at house... i don't know...i hope that she have a broad and open mind to understand your situation and the difficulty in budgeting and of course of paying bills... :-)

My wife opinion the husband is responsible with house hold expenses,She look after the children. I like shames coment on what his dad did. See whether can train her, may be let her see this mylot.

It is important to discuss this problem with your wife. It is up to the couple whom of them are going to handle the finances. You are a good husband because you let your wife to handle your salary. I think you should also talk to your wife that you need to pay your bills in time or if she allow you to handle your salary.

oops, this comment should come from guys, interesting. Hmm, I can learn how the other woman thinking. Thanks med.

Thanks Agv, I won't take it back from her, but try to explain her carefully on the longterm impact. Mylotters give me a lot of feedback.

Nope. The man responsible for this. If doesn't works, means he couldn't manage properly. If this is a corporate world, the CEO made a wrong step and miss managed. Now, his duty to fix it may be need to call consultant to advise him. This forum is one of my step to fix it. Thanks for your comment.

I can relate to everything towards the discussion in relation to managing finances.It is somehow a difficult at first on how to solve the conundrum of how to manage the budgeting of the expenses and bills because my husband is the one who handle his atm. I am currently working and my salary is already arranged for food,gas,some bills if the money he has is not sufficient to pay the rest..i will be the one to take over.My only concern is,at first,right after our wedding..he gave me his atm and for me since it was my first time to experience it(bec in my life when i was still single and even had a serious relationship i never encounter such thing that my bf will give me or entrusted his finaces to me cuz we are not husband and wife,and it is a different situation now) and have the chance upon to keep it with me and hand me over his money,atm and the fact that I am his wife I think have the right..but lately he took it from me it is just because i withrew a little money to spend for my personal use and food without informing him first he never trust me anymore.I just thought at first that thre's no need to tell him before I will do that cuz he know for a fact that time I am out of budget...for my allowance and for our needs to be sustained.I was just so sad that our common friend told me that the reason why he is not giving me his atm it's because I might give my family part of our money..well it is just came from our friend's mouth I haven't confronted yet my husband about that,I don't how to say or ask him if it's true,he might be suprised cuz he is nice to my family..well,i will give him the benefit of the doubt.just now I asked my husband that he should give his atm and trust me in budgeting the money we have bec.as a wife and future mother of his kids I need to learn on how to ,staring now.I was so aggravated before but not telling him i felt that way because he don't trust me.I don't know....you know what your wife is lucky because you trust her.you talk to her,he will understand everything most especially it is a money matter.you can deduct your allowance but informed her and asked right away that she should give you money to pay bills..or let her manage the bills and asked if you need something she should give it to you.that is what i am doing whenever my husband hand me over the money and asked if he need something i will just give him enough he should spend for something..i feel so important and resposible...good luck..

I don't mind to received very little allowance from her as long as she take part on all the household expenses/bills. Ah, sometimes she is very childish. I impress with all of lotters wise comment, you are much younger than my wife. Thanks.

Thanks cowgirl, Pre-agreement prior to married or stay together is important to have common understanding.We have lack on this area. Trust definitely needed but we need to anticipate others like bad mood swing too.

Since she stop working, money never been enough no matter how much I earn. Yes, its make her feel secure but in other way it become her power. There are 2 things that I've concern / worry in this marriage life: Money & Job. Worry that I'm not able to look after the family. If something that make her not happy she will play this card. She know that I love her & family very much and I wanted to take care of them well. And I will frustrated if I don;t have any income to support the family (pay bills etc). I'm kind of person can sacrifice myself for her & family. Let say, if she is the one who manage the family expenses even tough she delay or stop my allowance, I won't worry so much because I know she has more than enough money for family expenses, Looks strange our relationship?

It is direct transfer from my company to her account. Actually, I prefer her to put aside for house hold expenses first and just give me a bit for my personal expenses the rest for hers.But this is not her type. Thanks.

Wow, he is very lucky to have some one who willing to manage family account. He just work to earn more money for you :-) I've a trust on her, when the things happened I always remind her that I trust her very much to be the custodian of my salary. Thanks.

It is not must for both to know the detail how much he or she earn. OF course the man will be the main player to take care the family expenses and if required the partner can help to contribute. Thanks.

In the short term she won't suffer, because she control the cash.Her cash flow never disturb. But in long term, yes both of us will suffer the bank will chase us, the utilities, phone will terminated by the the time may be too late. I've warned my wife on this scenario hope will open her mind. Thanks.

This is actually what I want. The wife is responsible to manage the family account and the husband to remit accordingly and ensure sufficient. The issue she never want to take this role.It is not easy because you need to balance between expenses & income. If she did this, it will make my life easier and she lost the power. As i mentioned above, I can survive without allowance from my wife and it won't make me worry about her. I think she look at me as "outsider" not part of the family. She never 'realized' by doing this as 'punishment' to me will impact to family in long term. And she knows that I will do everything to protect the family.

Hmm interesting. My account is joint account, her account is single. She can see mine but I can't see hers. You are right before start the marriage don't hesitate to discuss or set a rule on financial matter especially if only one person working. thanks.