How are you with your 'body image'?

How sad to have been put down so much, Cynthiann, that you couldn't believe your husband when he told you the truth! The fact is that not everyone can be called pretty but every one of us has some beauty, which is sometimes only visible to the right people - the ones that matter, of course. One of the best ways of finding a person's beauty is to call it out by telling them they are beautiful (or handsome, of course, in the case of boys). Now I come to think of it, I don't remember anyone telling me I was handsome and I seem to have always thought of myself as rather plain and gauche. I do remember how "36-24-36" used to be called 'the perfect figure' and I remember how I used to look in puzzlement at the stars in the magazines (this was in the '50s when I knew little about girls) and think that they were really way too curvy ... certainly not fat but, in my eyes, at least, somewhat well-endowed. Ordinary people - real people - weren't like that at all! These days, I believe, those measurements would be rather out of fashion and many would rather emulate the grandfather clock than the hour-glass!

Blessings and hugs ;) What is your son? A butcher? LOLOL

Yes, it was a nightmare of a chilhood but that is past and I am over it. Just wish that I had known that I was beautiful. It is different now. I met a male friend a few days ago that I had not seen for a long while and he told me how pretty I looked with my new hairstyle and I accepted the compliment because I know that my inside beauty is now showing outside with age. Does that make sense? I have confidence now but not then. Thank you for your kind words, I appreciated your response. My son said a few months ago that if I lost 20lbs he would put me up for auction!!!! Meaning that I am looking good at this time of my life. Blessings.

Your height matters quite a bit when you are quoting your weight. 135 sounds quite acceptable for an average height of 5'6"+. It's also to do with the distribution, of course, and the right kind of exercise can certainly do a lot to help there. In the end, though, it's something to do with adjusting your own perception of what you want to be towards what you are. There is no need to be complacent or uncaring. If you are very much over or under weight for your height (according to recommended figures), then it is certainly worth doing something about it in the way of dieting or exercise (mostly the latter). On the other hand, if your partner doesn't want you any different, then why should you worry?

I think that changing your body shape because you (yourself) have an issue with it and it's actually uncomfortable is fine. What I think is not right is having some kind of image which really belongs to someone else because you are not (genetically) that shape. We are not all Aphrodites or Adonises nor are we all models or athletes. Because I know you a little (and your sisters and mother as well), I know that you are exactly what you say - a great person and someone it would be great to meet and spend some time with!

Perhaps it's just because there are less unattached males about who see themselves as your peers than there used to be. They are there, I'm sure, Dawn (though they may not be desirable in a number of ways ... more 'complications', the older we get ... that's another story) and they may have found that the wrinkles in their fingers and the lack of breath make it harder to wolf whistle. Yes, I know that guys do start with the looks, especially when younger. The sensible ones learn to use the eyes more as they get older ... I mean eye contact, of course!

Naw, they're all looking at younger women. lol But seriously, yep lots of complications, and not just marriages and children, but attitudes, health problems, etc. etc. PS the joke is that the sensible ones are already all taken! :-)

I would have said that you were putting the male point of view entirely if I hadn't just looked at your profile. I agree that every woman should like and value themselves (but many don't, which is the point of this discussion, really!). I suppose that, yes, it is (and should be) the women who attract their men, rather than the other way round. Ultimately, the object is to find a suitable father for their child - even though, these days, nothing could be farther from many women's minds - and so it should be the female who chooses, not the man. Do women, therefore, want to be other than they are not because of their own body image but because they are looking to attract the 'right' male?

No, friend, I am guessing that your bum is sagging a bit and is overshadowed by the pot. I have that trouble too but have been encouraged somewhat by women who say (honestly, I have to believe) that they don't mind about the belly at all ... though they do like something firm to grab behind. I think it takes Allsorts and if you are looking for one with the blue bobbles on, then that is what you will get ... if you dip your hand in the packet often enough (and like liquorice however it comes).

Thank you for BR. Karen