What's The Dress Code That God Wants?
By jennysp8
@jennysp8 (855)
United States
July 1, 2009 7:40pm CST
Of course I'm being smart with the subject question but seriously...I'm pissed.
I have a 5 year old son that is going with his father this weekend. Today, actually like 10 minutes ago, I get a call from his father informing me that my son will be attending a Baptism with him on Sunday. (4 day notice) and that I need to send him with dress clothes.
Ummm....grrrrr...
I told him what I have and "that's not good enough" he says....
I do not regularly buy my son all kinds of dress clothes unless I know FOR SURE that we are going somewhere to wear them. I mean, with the way he grows out of clothes, dress clothes are something I would normally buy on an "as needed" basis...and he is leaving with his father Friday and I don't get paid until Saturday and the idiot won't fork over any cash to take his own son shopping...
We don't go to church. Let me just clear that up...so no, I don't have a stock pile of dress clothes for my children. I teach my kids our beliefs on God, etc and teach moral values. I also teach them a little bit of what different religions believe (@ proper age level).
My ex has taken him to church hit or miss and I don't mind. He goes in tan or blue pants and a collared shirt....which is apparently find for that church..
Now..all of the sudden - that's not good enough....not for this church
Now...all of the sudden - it's not appropiate enough for God....not in this church
Apparently God cares about the clothes you wear.
I'm so pissed!!!!
I don't even believe in Baptism....so this is just extra irritating for me. Not trying to slander those who do believe - like I said, I don't mind that he goes and learns about it all as I am about allowing my children to grow - love - learn and make their own decisions based on intelligence and what they feel in their hearts - - -not try to force feed them something and tell them they will burn in hell if they don't believe it.
What is your opinion?
Should someone be turned from a church function because of a "Dress Code"??????? Maybe I should let him go in what he has and if they treat him badly (which apparently I am told will happen - mind you my son is 5! - 5!!!) then he can start to learn about nasty people and their materialistic mindsets. Jerks.
5 people like this
20 responses
@mkrishna22 (465)
• India
2 Jul 09
well, God has not told us a lot of things that we are doing these days. But, there are a lot of people who lay down rules on behalf of God for us.
well. what to do...
@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
3 Jul 09
You made a good point. There are people stepping in "lay down the rules"...but where did they get these rules from? Like you said, God hasn't said much about what we are doing these days....so in my opinion, these "rules" are just someone's opinion that they want everyone else to follow.
Thanks for the response!!
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
2 Jul 09
As far as I know modesty is all God requires. Introducing soeone to the hypocrasy of any group is the best thing you could maybe do for them If they chose to become a part of that group or to not to be a part of it then they will be making a most inforned decision.
If I was in your shoes Id simply tell the guy he child as no such clothes so he should be prepared to do some emergency shopping when he picked up the child, if it is so imprtant to him. I would also still pack the best of what I have.
Church is a fantastic place. If only we were able to get past all the human barriers which some figure we must mount to get to God.
@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
3 Jul 09
I too believe that church could be a nice place if it wasn't for all of the people out there trying to control others - get rich - and slander those who don't follow. If more people started practicing what they preach, churches could be a nice place...
Thanks for the response!!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
2 Jul 09
I really doubt the church cares about what your son is going to be wearing. I imagine they'll be focused on the child getting baptised...or they should be anyway. It sounds to me like your ex is just giving you a difficult time. Pants and a collared shirt should be just fine. If not, I would tell the ex to buy what he feels is suitable.
1 person likes this
@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
3 Jul 09
I hope so. Part of me wanted to buy the stupid clothes just because I want to "protect" my son from the nasty people. But, I decided against it. Hopefully nothing will happen but if it does, it will be a good lesson for him to hear.
I did tell my ex to take him shopping but that won't happen. Beyond child support (which is not always there as he's been to court 2 times in past 4 years) he has never bought him a single piece of clothing. He won't do anything that's not court ordered.
Thanks for the response!!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
3 Jul 09
ya ...my ex is like that...He doesn't pay child support at all (long story) and doesn't help out at all. She was recently in a wedding on his side of the family and initially, it was set up for me to take her in to get her gown and fitted & all. I didn't mind that part but paying for the gown....I put my foot down. It actually worked...he paid.
1 person likes this
@freethinkingagent (2501)
•
4 Jul 09
The problem is not with the church but with the boys father. Send him in what ever you like, the people in the church do not look down at people for their dress, Obviously the father is embarrassed by his son. The father is obviously one of those dress up pretend christians who thinks it is more important what you ware on the outside than what you beleive on the inside, you know the kind Jesus spoke about, the people who broaden there borders on there tunics? Any way your son would not be shamed by the church, only by his father, I wouldn't subject my son to this mans shame.
@dorothyDauphinee (534)
• United States
2 Jul 09
as an ordained minister i can emphatically say that the GOD i worship is far more interested on whats on the inside(in your heart) than what you wear on the outside only man cares about that!this is just one of many things that have separated me from organized religion even though I fully worship my God and Jesus!
1 person likes this
@AcousticSoul (1309)
• United States
2 Jul 09
that's true but have you ever wondered why there is a dress code. can you imagine a women coming in for a Sunday service with a really short skirt on or a really low cut blouse... its distracting not only for men but for women. I feel people should be dress appropriately when they come to serve God its only respect. not saying you have to have on the best but just dress nicely
1 person likes this
@Boofybutt (316)
• United States
2 Jul 09
I always tell people "If God intended us to wear clothes we would have been born with some on"
My kids are 8 and 6 so I know all about them growing out of clothes faster than you can buy them. I always figure if someone doesn't like what I put them in, or they want them to wear something else they can go buy it themselves.
2 people like this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
2 Jul 09
Since your ex is the father of this child (I assume) Why does he not buy him some clothes to wear to church. That is what i would say to him "If he needs dress clothes that i don't have then you buy him some. He is coming with the clothes I have for him. If he doesn't like it then tough. Your son is his to.
1 person likes this
@AcousticSoul (1309)
• United States
2 Jul 09
Hi Jennysp8 I don't think its the church or the people in the church,I think its just your ex being egotistical. He wants your son to uphold a certain look I think it is rude.... him being the father and all and not willing to buy the clothing he needs for his son. so If I were you I wouldn't worry about it, send him with what he has and let his Father do the rest. its his event right... I don't think the people at the baptism will look at him in a wrong way its just your ex acting silly
On the other hand. I come from a religious background of going to "church" (as some people call it) all the time. My house of prayer has dress code standards and some people don't understand because they feel God doesn't care about the clothes. which is right but in our eyes its about being suitable and dressing appropriately. now that makes me mad. when people judge me when I uphold the values of my house of prayer...
when you step into the temple of God's House its not okay to just wear anything, such as pants short skirts and open toe shoes. When you work in an office there are certain clothes you must wear so whats different its a code of ethics to follow . At my house of prayer the women are to wear dresses and skirts with closed toe shoes and stockings. the men should wear dress pants, dress shirts and ties. its a form of respect. but to each is own most people who don't agree don't come and that's understandable because my way of worship may not work for someone else
1 person likes this
@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
3 Jul 09
I think I said enough at your above comment. I just wanted to mention that I don't look down upon you for your beliefs or the way your church likes to run things. I just don't think that others should be looked down upon because they don't believe the way you do.
Like you said, you don't like people disrespecting your beliefs. But what if a person doesn't believe in the dress code or doesn't understand your dress code and showed up one day to church? Not you personally - but think of the others in your church? Would they welcome that person open arms? Or would they talk about it or give dirty looks? Isn't that doing the thing you hate? Putting someone else down because of their beliefs?
Thanks for the response...and you're right about my ex!
Thanks again!
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
2 Jul 09
I would tell his father to buy your son what is needed. It's his problem, not yours. Personally I feel that God (assuming his existence) couldn't give a rat's patootie about what people wear - his own son wasn't big on dress clothes from what I understand. Folk dress for each other not God. If people are nasty to your son, then that simply goes to prove that they are not a fit group for the likes of a well raised 5 year old and he will quickly learn the truth about churches. It's about the people that visit, not the deity that they pray too in so many places.
1 person likes this
@LovesTravel (303)
• United States
2 Jul 09
In my opinion, you don't have a problem. Your ex has the problem. It's real simple. If your ex doesn't like the clothes you have for your son, then he will need to provide something more "appropriate." (Sheeesh, the child is 5. Suits are not required. In summer, even kahki shorts and a collered shirt would do.) And if Dad doesn't see fit to buy the child what he thinks is appropriate, then what you already have on hand will have to do. It's his choice--and his problem.
1 person likes this
@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
3 Jul 09
You're right. My ex is the problem. He is a nut case. Plain and simple. He likes quoting phrases from the Bible and applying them how he sees fit but in the mean time doesn't have a clue as to what the text actually meant.
He for sure won't take my son shopping. I'd bet on it. :)
Thanks for the response!
@pyarebhai (199)
• India
2 Jul 09
myLot friend,Greetings to all.
This type of discussion command much deeper insight, only wiseman of that particular religion can able to answer. when answering generally, without insight in that particular important item of religious importance. it is better seek advice of the able person, who have good knowldge in this regard. SEasong greetings and all the best wishes to you all. Thanking you.
1 person likes this
@Gangabag (28)
• Netherlands
2 Jul 09
There are two parts to your issue here - the one regarding the dress code appropriate for a religious ceremony and the issue that you are being asked to pay for something that has been initiated by someone else (your ex-husband).
Regarding the first point, I would feel with quite a high level of confidence, that God really doesn't care what a person wears, certainly not to a baptism ceremony. Of course the brethren who are organizing and participating in the ceremony on the other hand care all the more. I would argue that if someone is participating in such an event, they need to take into consideration what is expected of others, but this should be maintained within reason. The brethren in turn must take into consideration the means of a participant and be flexible in what is acceptable to the occassion.
The second issue is more straightforward. If your ex-husband is the one who wants to take the child to this event, it's his responsibility to ensure that he is dressed accordingly. Why even worry about it? It's not your issue...
@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
3 Jul 09
You're right...he needs to be the one taking him shopping and picking out the clothes. It's his weekend. Why do I have to do everything all of the other days - and on his day's with his son? It's like he can't manage to lift a finger....
thanks for the response!!
@chikadee21ph (438)
• Philippines
2 Jul 09
The Lord wants us to dress decently when going to church. Unfortunately, people nowadays do not bother as to what clothes they are wearing when going to church. Some use a very short short with plunging neckline. Situation like this makes me sad as those clothes are really inaapropriate.
1 person likes this
@rameshkumaar57 (5908)
• India
4 Jul 09
Hi there jennysp8, I am a Hindu, so I cannot comment on your Church, but in some of our temples, mind you it is only a few, where they have a dress code. In this particular temples, the men have to be bare bodied and they must wear only a dhothi(This is a white cotton/linen garment, which you wear around your waist). Western wear(pants or shorts etc) is not allowed for both men as well as woman.
So I can assure you one thing,there are jerks in all the religions, and it is these kind of people who poison the young minds and create hatered and enimity amongst us.
1 person likes this
@dreamr802 (985)
• United States
2 Jul 09
Wow. Well I can understand about having your son dressed nicely for a baptism. Churches are very different. My cousins are Italian Catholic and their church is very formal so you are expected to dress nicely in slacks and a button down shirt for men and nice slacks/skirts/dress for women. Now on the other than I grew up Lutheran (we took my mom's religion) and since our church is so small and has no air conditioning it was accepted to wear shorts and tank tops during the summer months.
For a little kid especially 5 years old, what does your ex expect him to wear? A suit? I mean com'on. For a baptism, even Catholic baptism, tan slacks and a cute little shirt or a polo would definitely be acceptable. If your ex doesn't think that the clothes that you have for your son are acceptable, I would send them with your son this weekend and if he wants him to wear something "nicer" according to him, let your ex be forced to buy new clothes for your son.
Good luck.
1 person likes this
@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
3 Jul 09
I think that someone should be allowed to go into a church in ratty clothes if that's all they had...after all, church is supposed to be about more important things than clothes...but...I decided to pack a pair of nice kaki pants and a striped polo shirt.
I just think it's funny that he's all the sudden concerned about what clothes my son wears to this event because it's the "right" thing...when he has noooooooo room to talk about what other people do with their lives. He's the LAST person that should be judging others...
Thanks for the response!!
@xcrizzx (80)
• Philippines
2 Jul 09
Jenny, If God had a "DRESS CODE" then none of us would have been born naked.
We would have been extracted from our mother's womb wearing the best Sunday clothes with ties and shiny black shoes and thick dresses that would have required doctors to have tailors as nurses to expertly rip and sew back the dresses just to cut our umbilical cords...
These so called "society" that governs our government and churches have gone too far with their hypocritical ideas that they use "GOD" as an excuse...
Go figure...
1 person likes this
@Habeebi06 (63)
• United States
6 Jul 09
Jenny,
I like how you think. I think kids should be brought up exposed to different faiths. Just a thought, but the dress code really reminds me of Mormonism. If it is, get the exposure to that mind-control cult over with so he will hopefully never join it.
That is a really unChristlike way to ehave anyway. Oh, and I agree with the other posters who say the ex-husand should uy him more suitable.
Elizabeth
1 person likes this
@sumanadep (1228)
• India
2 Jul 09
Well God does not have any dress code...but visiting church or any holy place will have a dress code...dress code only mean that you need to be dressed in decent clothes because in there, there are people whom we respect...there are people who come there only for peace and to feel the presence of God...your dress may distract them...they come there with some belief and you need to consider them...and if you are not ready to dress well to go there...you can simply make you wishes at you home because God is everywhere....
1 person likes this
@jennysp8 (855)
• United States
3 Jul 09
I agree - Higher Power is everywhere and I don't believe that people have to be in a church to worship or pray to what they want. The thing is though, many churches claim to teach about loving everyone and sharing "the word" but then they don't want people in their church that do not follow their dress code because of a "distraction"? It seems odd and out of place.
If I was in church and was there for the purpose of worship or prayer - someone else and their clothing would not be a distraction because I wouldn't be there for other people - I'd be there for me...
It just seems that church has become more of a place of socialization than anyhting (most churches at least...not all)
Thanks for the response!
@createmoney (209)
• Philippines
2 Jul 09
the dress code that god's want, simply to say being modess.
1 person likes this
