SC Governor Wife May Forgive Affair
By LeavaoDe
@LeavaoDe (349)
United States
July 2, 2009 4:54pm CST
Hi. Ok first let me say that forgiveness is divine and helps in the healing process but I am a little confused I guess. He has a affair, says he won't when he gets caught by wife and continues to do so. I understand his wife saying she may forgive him. That's good for her. My thing is to hear your husband tell the world that at least he can die knowing he had met his soul mate, how can you forgive that? You want to work on the marriage and try to fall in love with your wife again, is that possible? She may forgive you but could she get over that?
My question to my fellow myLotters is: Does this whole make sense? What is your opinion of this matter?
Thank you
2 people like this
7 responses
@dogsnme (1264)
• United States
2 Jul 09
Well, politicians are of course human just like the rest of us. I don't necessarily believe him when he says he is sorry for being unfaithful. Maybe he is sorry. I wonder if maybe he's sorry he got caught. As for his wife, I admire her for saying she will forgive him. My brother's wife cheated on him and also got caught embezzling money. He forgave her because it is the Christian thing to do. I admire him for that and I also think he made the right choice. As for someone admitting they cheated on their spouse and expressing remorse while at the same time saying they met their soulmate in the process is pretty disengenuous to me. I might forgive someone in that situation but it doesn't mean I would remain married to them. Forgiving is one thing but forgetting is a different matter all together.
2 people like this
@LeavaoDe (349)
• United States
3 Jul 09
Hi. Thank you for commenting. You are so right...forgiving is one thing but forgetting is a different matter all together. I've never been cheated on so I don't know how I would react. Forgiveness can help heal too.
When he first said he was sorry, ok he's human but when I read he said he had met his soulmate and it wasn't his wife well I started to think that the "I'm sorry" was because he got caught.
I feel sorry for his kids though, to have this all in the public.
Happy myLotting!!!
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
3 Jul 09
Things like this just never make sense to me. I mean, if I really love someone & I want the relationship to work then cheating just isn't in the equation at all. If I did cheat I would have to step back and re-think my relationship. I'd question myself as to if I even really loved that person anymore. If I truly thought my soul mate were the outsider that I was messing around with then in all fairness to myself, my soulmate and current partner, I'd have to opt to end the relationship and be with my soulmate. Considering how I feel about love, I would find it very difficult to live with someone who cheated on me....maybe impossible. If they admitted to finding a soulmate elsewhere, there wouldn't be a chance in continuing the relationship. I could forgive but not continue on. Everyone is different and some people don't put as much importance on love in a marriage as they do other things. Some stick it out for money or appearances or because they think it is best for the kids. It makes me wonder how much they care even for their own happiness.
@LeavaoDe (349)
• United States
3 Jul 09
Hi. Thank you so much for commenting. Cheating in a relationship to me is something that shouldn't be done. It's just plain lying, IMO. If you love someone and are in a relationship be it a good one or a bad one then cheating as you said isn't and shouldn't be in the equation. Some people think differently and are different. No individual is alike. I think you stated the way I think perfectly...in all fairness to myself, my soulmate and current partner, I'd opt to end the relationship. If it should happen then it's the only thing to do.
My problem with him is he stated he found his soulmate (not his wife) and then he says he will try to learn to love his wife again. That is just wrong to me. It's not fair to her or his children. Did he think about these things before doing it or saying these things? I honestly don't think so.
You're right that people have their reasons and something I wonder if they think about their own happiness too. But that is a double edged sword too because sometimes they only thing about their happiness.
Anyway, thanks for commenting. Happy myLotting!!!
1 person likes this
@LeavaoDe (349)
• United States
4 Jul 09
Hi. It would be salt in the wounds by saying that. Also if I wasn't his soulmate mate then I wouldn't want to be with him no matter how much I love him. I too would always wonder and know that his love was for someone else....Ah no that aint happening. I wouldn't do it.
Happy myLotting!!
@the_vicar (1477)
• United States
3 Jul 09
She needs to ask herself...."what's missing in the relationship that he feels he needs to seek the time and attention with someone else"? If he cheats on her onece he will do it again unless whatever is wrong is fixed. I am wondering how this cheater can maintain his job when he let down the people of his state?
Women tend to want to keep the family together.....Hillary certainly forgave Bill for all his trysts....but I also have to wonder why Bill had to go through such public scrutiny and this guy gets nothing but sympathy from the Republican Party? Isn't that a bit hypocritical?
1 person likes this
@LeavaoDe (349)
• United States
3 Jul 09
Hi. thanks for commenting. She probably did ask herself that when they were in counseling. Who knows? He will do it again no matter what he says. Seriously he tells the media that he found his soulmate who isn't his wife and she's suppose to think that he won't cheat again. Please I don't think so. He says that he has to try to fall in love with his wife again...oh come on...I don't think so. I think that given the opportunity that he will cheat again and most definitely with this person again. Hillary did forgive Bill and I wonder that too but not all of the Republican Party is giving him their sympathy. Yes it is hypocritical of those who are. There are those that backed him that are calling for him to resign. He is supposed to be this great man that stood for family values, etc that helped to get him elected by the people in the state. What he did was a disgrace. I think that there is a double standard to the Republican Party sometimes. When the Democrats do something that is wrong they go after them but the members of their party do it and it's ok? What is wrong with this picture?
:) Anyway, thanks for commenting. Happy mylotting!!!
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
3 Jul 09
Well for everyone to be able to move one I guess we start forgiving the ones that offended us. But, that doesn't mean that the person who offended us won't have to go through it scot free at all. Wife should not also forget that the offense is indeed painful and he should also face any consequences he may as a result of his being unfaithful to her. If the wife does decide to divorce him then it may just be the price he has paid for his undoings.
1 person likes this
@LeavaoDe (349)
• United States
3 Jul 09
Hi. Thanks for commenting. I think you are right the person that did the offending won't get off scott free. Being with his position this maybe his downfall. Even with divorce I don't think he will pay for what he did. Nothing he can do or say is going to fix the pain and embrassment of what he did.
All the best to her and the children.
Happy myLotting!!
@clutterbug (1051)
• United States
3 Jul 09
I remember a radio show I heard once on a Christian station, and the speaker said that forgiving someone doesn't mean that the relationship should continue, sometimes the relationship has to end, but forgiveness can still take place. In this case with Governor Sanford, he has made it clear that his fling is his soulmate, that to me is a red flag to let him go his merry way, and forgiveness will help in healing so that Mrs. Sanford can move on with her life. Thanks for your time.
1 person likes this
@LeavaoDe (349)
• United States
3 Jul 09
Hi. Thanks so much for commenting. You are so right. Exactly what I've been thinking. Mrs. Sanford can move on with her life if her forgiving him will help her heal. It is a big red flag to me to that he has made it clear that his fling is soulmate. Why put his wife and children through everything if he knows that? How can she keep going in the marriage when he says things like that and that he has to try to fall in love with his wife again.
Happy myLotting!!!
@cbantly (236)
• United States
2 Jul 09
It's not like this is the first time she has had to deal with his infidelity, and that is what really bothers me about her response right now. He has repeatedly shown that he is not loyal to his wife and family, so why "forgive" him now? OR is the forgiveness more for the public eye than it is behind closed doors. I'd be very interested in knowing what conversations have been going on outside of the media's view. At least he was cleared of using taxpayer funds. I do applaud her for not standing by him and being a doormat, although that seems to be changing.
1 person likes this
@LeavaoDe (349)
• United States
2 Jul 09
Hi. Thanks for commenting. You're right that she has had to deal with his infidelity before and that who thing bothers me too. He's already been caught cheating but continues to ask permission from his wife to go and see his mistress. I DON'T GET IT! If the mistress is his soul mate and he was so intent on seeing her why not just handle a divorce quietly as possible then in public eye.
I was thinking the same thing about if the forgiveness is for the public eye. It would be very interesting to know what was going on behind closed doors. But for the family's sake (the kids) that should be kept private. I too applaud her for not standing by him and being a doormat. You're right it seems to be changing.
Happy myLotting!!!
