any explanation why there are persons who are LONER?

This is an excellent discussion. I love people very much and would love to have many friends yet I find myself needing solitude a lot. My idea of a good time is not shared by most people and I have a difficult time communicating how I want to spend time with people. I like gardening, sitting at the beach, taking walks, sitting at cafes, going to a movie or play, window shopping, antiquing, going to diners, taking a train ride, wrapping presents, reading greeting cards, and things like that. I also enjoy quiet and quiet conversations and most people generally do not like that, and/or most people talk very loudly and like high action. My needs tend to make me end up spending a lot of time alone. I think that every gentle person has different reasons for wanting to have a lot of alone time. Unfortunately, this need is often misunderstood as anti-social behavior. I don't think it matters whether people like you or not, because this is not something that anyone can control. What matters is that everyone respect each other's differences. It is more difficult for quieter/gentle people to find other people to spend time with but it is possible. I am on a journey now to look for places and people that will respect me and my character for who I am and I visit those places. You will start to realize when you go to different places that there is a place for everybody, and if people say they don't like you, you may just not be around the right people or at the right place, at the right time. Not every place that works for me, may work for you, or for someone else, nevertheless I found that I felt pretty comfortable in Scotland. I don't know why, but generally people there seemed to respond well to me. Perhaps it is because there seems to be a fondness of writing there, and writing is a solitary activity? I don't know for sure. I also found people in Seattle to be very friendly, and they didn't seem to mind seeing others be introspective. Enjoy yourself, there are lots of nice people out there, they are just not easy to find.

Cainam! Who ever said that to you is mean! You shouldn't give them the time of day. I used to be a very shy which made me very akward in social situations. People would mis interpret my shyness and think that I was a snob. Are you shy honey? Maybe that's why this person read you wrong. Oh, and everyone gets bored with their life at times. doesn't matter if you are a loner or a social butterfly.

I dont agree with the person that said that at all. Im a loner in a way. I would rather be home then out all the time. Yet I get calls from people all the time asking me to go out. Sometimes I go and sometimes I dont. Im also on a pool team during part of the year as I love to play and during the season lots of people enjoy my sense of humor and we hang around and talk. So I wouldnt say Im not liked. If you like you and enjoy being how you are dont worry about what others say or think as normally they really dont know how things really are.

hi there cainam, First of all...I can't believe that someone was rude enough to come out and tell you this. That was just plain mean and I'm betting that this comment hurt you and has you cutting yourself apart and isolating yourself. Look...I like solitude....I NEED lots of alone time. just how I am. I also love people. I don't have any kind of exciting life at all. I work, take care of my daughter and my home. I have a couple of very close friends whom I fit into my schedule regular. It is really rare that i go to the bars or parties. I don't get the feeling people don't like me and neither should you. I doubt you are boring but I bet you are very self concious about it which can make you try too hard. The person that said that too you was not anyone you'd want to be friends with anyway. Any person worth hanging out with would have pulled you in and introduced you to people...made you feel comfortable. Just smile and be friendly and I don't think you'll have a problem making some good friends.

it is good to spend time by yourself.you can gather your thoughts and think of what you really want.however, humans are naturally social beings.there should be a balance between 'me' time and time with others.it may be an exaggeration if you think no one likes you.you can try befriending other by seeing to whom you're most comfortable with.

i can't say that i'm a loner but i do like to be alone sometimes. this happens especially when i'm going through a rough time and i just want to be alone so that i can think. i don't think that there's anything wrong if you're one because i think that there are just those people who value their peace and serenity more than other people do...

That is me! I am a loner for a few reason's. The biggest reason I like being alone! I was meant to be aloner! I don't have to answer to anyone! I can go and come back with out having to tell anyone! I have my privacy! I don't have to fight over the remote or anything else! I became a loner awhile ago because it became a necessary! I was contantly being taken advantage of by emplyers and people who said they were my so called friends! I got so digusted with it I become more of a loner then I was! It is a security blanket and a defensive statagy! It works for me!

Ask yourself first, do you like the way you are, I mean being a loner? If you answer yes, then don't bother much about what other might think because truth is you can't please everyone. Even a cheerful people face that situation. Just live your life. If you answer No, then you might want to change or add something in your life to make your life not so boring. That is just my opinion. Happy living!

Humans are undoubtedly social creatures, but the word 'social' can take on different meanings for different people. Everyone enjoys time to their self every once in a while, and I think everyone needs something that makes them feel 'not lonely'. You are a loner, but you are not lonely, correct? You achieve this through a medium other than social contact with people (that is, assuming you are a happy loner.) An example is that sometimes when I am driving, I prefer the radio instead of a CD because it makes me feel less lonely. It's as if someone else is there, because I know radio stations are run by real people. Maybe you feel as if you 'know' the people on television or whatever you spend your free time doing. You could even 'get to know' the characters in a book, or feel as if you understand them or the author. There's pretty much endless possibilities.

Being a loner is a great avenue to be with yourself, it does not directly imply that you are weird or something. I am a loner to some extent, but I don't consider my life boring. In fact, I sometimes feel a lot more happy being with myself that with other people partying and the like. Being loner is also being safe, I mean most of the time you are more away to problems caused by reckless speaking.