Need Advice !
By shaggy007
@shaggy007 (36)
India
July 4, 2009 7:09pm CST
I love this girl whom i met 7 years before..we are bff's ..we got into relationship a year ago..we love each other a lot but there was a problem recently..we share a long distance i stay in India whereas she in U.S.
Girl is really simple and i can talk a lot about her so ill cut it short.She is sweet,caring,loving,my bff and love of my life..recently we had a problem ..her parents caught her while talking to me second time(she was caught once before) and told her to cuttoff relationship with me
because of my surname which her parents dont like it..she is confused between love and parents..she dont want to disobey her parents but at the same time wants to marry me..she decided to be my best frnd again and told me to forget everything about love..i just cant do it :(.. i decided to complete my further studies in U.S.
get a nice job and convince her parents..but she says her parents are not gona like me so she tells me to forget her..i told her parents probably wants to study..(we both are doing graduation)I told her its time to stick together and fight..its love afterall..but she said she sont want to disobey her parents and betray them..i told her whatever decision you have taken i respect it bcoz i respect you..i'm no1 infront of your parents love..she wants me to find another girl for myself(this hurts both of us)i told her once my studies are over i'm coming back for her..
she keeps me drifting away from her ..which i dont like..we are still bff's
this girl still loves me and i love truly respect her and love her..i also respect her parents..i dont wanna loose this girl :( please help me :(..when im wid her im happy..but wen she is not around i get numb..
should i wait for her to get heal from recent thing?or shld i continue being as her bff?i want her back..
PS : In our relationship we never had a single fight !
1 person likes this
4 responses
@Caramel0788 (73)
•
5 Jul 09
You know what? I feel your pain bc I just had my family to turn their back on me for being with someone of another color (which is stupd) We live together and are happily in love. Everyday I wake up and look at this man and I couldn't be happier. I wouldn't know what I would have done if I hadn't left the "nest" to be with him. He told me the same thing that you told her and I thought too heavily of him so I had to have him as much as he wanted me. We fought against my family and they have finally realized that they're not going to run MY life bc they don't agree with the guy that I date. This person has never gotten in trouble and treats me like a queen. (when the other dorks were a**holes...ooh I can't say that on here can i? SORRY!) But you think about if she's willing to be with you and if you two can be with each other 24/7 and learn to be even stronger after you get in a fight. Then if she tells you she's ready, you go and get her. Don't wait a minute longer ya hear?
@shaggy007 (36)
• India
5 Jul 09
Hello Caramel.
Thank you.I draw inspiration from you.I never give up.
1 person likes this
@bournecaindelta (2477)
• India
5 Jul 09
Hey, it's easy for you guys to say, but for people in India it's a lot harder. I don't mean to support them or go against you, but in my general view, I have noticed that people here are so hell bent on pleasing others that they forget that it's their life and they should be doing what they want rather than what others want. I have heard people break up because their uncle's grandfather didn't like the boy/girl. I'm like c'mon that old man will live for like three or four years max. You gonna live with your partner for like all life.
For people in India or for Indians in general, parents decision is final. They don't even make an effort to convince their parents about it. They get married to someone whom their parents like and then suffer all life long.
bourne
PS; Just my thoughts, no hard feelings. I'm an Indian btw.
@eLsMarie (4345)
• Philippines
5 Jul 09
gosh! i never knew how Indian parents are really that strict. this situation is very hard for the both of them so i guess they should part ways... however, if they're really willing to fight for their relationship, then i guess the guy should prove himself to the girl's parents. anyways the problem is with the girl's parents and not the girl that he's having a relationship with.
1 person likes this
@smallcloud (338)
• Malaysia
5 Jul 09
wah, ur story sounds bad
but i think u should fight for ur love or else u will feel regret of this
i know maybe the parent is really determine to stop u two continue
but i think there sure got some ways something to change the opinion of the parent toward your surname
being break up of the surname it sounds a bit funny so u cant be lost of this fight
u must solve the conflict of the parents. maybe before happening something that make them dislike the surname
jus go to find it
it is ur true love if u think then go to fight
dun make urself regret
no matter what the result, at least u work hard for this before
1 person likes this
@shaggy007 (36)
• India
5 Jul 09
yes..i am working hard..im already saving my money from lunch and stuff( bcoz i dont get pocket money so i look for alternatives).. to go get her back and talk to her parents after i complete my studies..trust me i wont ever let this girl go..but she is trying to drift me apart..she is stuck and confused..
1 person likes this
@unuzzz (1273)
• Indonesia
5 Jul 09
Hi there,sorry to hear what had happened to you..
But I don't get it, her parents doesn't like you because of your name?
I don't understand about indian culture, but I think it's ridiculous..
*sorry, no offense :)
You should fight for her..
You're in a tough situation, but you two must recognized each other feeling first..
By knowing how deep the feelings each of you have, I believe you two will get stronger and stronger facing obstacles in front..
And I think you should be patient
too, it won't be easy to get into the family
But love will find a way.. :)
Good luck to you two
Cheers !
1 person likes this
@shaggy007 (36)
• India
5 Jul 09
Its ok..its not bcoz of my name its because of my surname..there is stuff like religion and caste ( which we both don't know that much )..she is really confused..i want to convince her but when i start talking abt those things she try to drift me apart..
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@kang_artha (88)
• Indonesia
5 Jul 09
long distance is a hard situation, some people will be broke up when have relation with long distance..but if you love her dont make this situation became a problem. Wait for her and someday she will be yours
@shaggy007 (36)
• India
5 Jul 09
im not only waiting for her..but im also going soon there to get her back..
1 person likes this