Why my to-be mother-in-law always asks my boyfriend to find a secure job?
By Butterfly007
@Butterfly007 (182)
China
July 5, 2009 9:10pm CST
I just want to know why?
I am not a girl who value money very highly, but I think young people should struggle for a better life by themselves, this doesn't mean I am insatiable. I and my boyfriend buy a bouse by ourselves and all my salary is used for repaying to the bank. Now he is working in Xue Da Education and Since corporation, in which you work more and get more. But his mother always wants him to work in an ordinary high school and get 2000RMB per month. I wonder why? My boyfriend just doesn't want to work in that kind of school coz he thinks there is nothing to arouse his enthusiasm for working. He told me not to care about what his mother said, But frankly I don't feel well when she says I am anxious for success and value money very highly. I just have to show my bitter smile coz if I were a kind of person as what she thought, I won't encourage and support her son to do what he likes and be happy although we are poor. I won't buy a house using up all my money but ask for nothing from home! I just want true love and struggle together with my love for a better life, am I wrong? Or should we just prentend to ignore the debt and loafing?
3 people like this
13 responses
@meandmy3 (2227)
• United States
6 Jul 09
Your MIL is just concerned about your future and the future of any children that you may have. Sometimes we have to make decisions as to what to do regarding a job etc that will result in a happier life for us down the road. I know you are greatly concerned about this, but if your fiance can provide a better life for you and your future children should he not try and do so?
@Butterfly007 (182)
• China
6 Jul 09
I understand all but I can't accpet that she says I value money too much. It's not the truth. You never understand how sad I am to hear this coz I have been trying all these years to struggle a better life by myself and never thought about how to reap without sowing or just marry a rich guy, things like that. I tryed my best to support my boyfriend and not to bring pressure to his famaly economically. I feel pain she did me an injustice.
1 person likes this
@iamsolucky (1241)
• Philippines
6 Jul 09
yes, we go like this most of the time, " money is not important, as long as we love each other it would be good". But it dont work like that my friend. Your mother in law knows the suffering and joy of being in a situation like that thats why she is giving advices. Love is there, no complain, but how can you deal in this world without stable job and good money to buy things. Parents and oldies have thier unique experience and they only give us advice based on that experiences. many couples ignore the fact that stable income will also a great help in establishing family. You cant feed your children with love always. There is always material things involved. And materials things can be bought by money. And money can be achieved by having a job.
I hope this advice will also help.
Happy mylotting and smile always
1 person likes this
@airakumar (1553)
• India
6 Jul 09
Probably, your ...mother-in-law wants to see you both happy in your life. She loves you both and has little concern about your future. She is a mother and you must understand that whatever she says that is for your benefit. She has experienced more life than you, where you are just a beginner. Do not misunderstand her, try to understand her. You are not only going to be a wife of someone but also a daughter-in-law. You have certain responsibility towards her to get her understand. She is not wrong. All the best!!
@jojhane (36)
• Philippines
6 Jul 09
You know what Butterfly007 (35) our parents wants a better life for our future and the future of your family right? But one thing you need to do since bought of you have a work, you should explain to your mother-in-law soon to be that you will both work out for the betterment of your life..
1 person likes this
@hiucheekeong (88)
• Malaysia
6 Jul 09
every mother want the best for their child, i think your boyfriend's mother would be no exception. either you or your boy friend think is right or wrong, her good intention shouldn't be wirte off. you must understand that she's not your mother, is nature that she not understand you, just need more communication, that's all.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
6 Jul 09
as a mother of three wonderful children, i too would want the best for them. i want to find jobs that they love, doing what they love, while getting paid an amount they can live a comfortable life with. i don't know if it's so much about the money for me, i just want them to be happy. don't take it personally, she only wants what is best for her child.
@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
6 Jul 09
HI,
I think your future mother in law wants your future life getting better than now. I understand what you expect but I believe old people, especially his mother concerns about this.
Right now, you are not married yet, so thing is still stable... But after your married then thing might change. If the job brings you more money then you should look for it cuz now this day, it is hard to get a job that make good money.
well, if you are happy what you have now then we are happy for you... first thing that you should do is doing what your first thought tell you.
@ShellyB (5241)
• United States
6 Jul 09
I think that she just wants security, which is hard to obtain with today's economy.
I think the best thing is to listen and well prepared to hear good advice from the woman for years to come, she feels she has a right to say things and give advice because it is her son and you are with her son.
Some moms are like that.
@pxm204192 (160)
• China
7 Jul 09
i support your point. but in this world, the money must have for all of us, but it is enough for us to support the ordinary people, i have a admire that you have a such value idea that whatever and however the case is, you should conque the problems with your love the most,it is very valuable thing with your husband, i think so, that is very valuable for you, you and husband are together to share your good things and bitter things, the most important things is to share with of both of you, then, only through this way, you and your husband can built your own emotional foundment, the family of the people can built such like this, do not pay attention on the other people,even for your mother idea,their ideas can be from your idea,but can not be decided from that,the most important one is to share with your family with your other half. do not interrupt your true lover emotion on the customal ideas or money rule in the society. this is prioeless treasures for you.
@cathywright (35)
• United States
6 Jul 09
Your Mother-in-law to be just wants her son to be able to provide for him and his family. It's not necessarily you, she probably does'nt want the two of you to have to move in with her. Seriously. Been there, done that. Encourage your fiancee as well girl!
@kirstinmomof2 (63)
• United States
6 Jul 09
You should do what makes you happy. Moms always want the best for there kids. If he's happy with his job then there is no reason to change it.
@KawaiiInu (143)
• Uruguay
6 Jul 09
She probably just cares about you two, and is just concerned about your future.
1 person likes this
