What do you do when your partner pisses you off? Help before I kill him.......
By dloveli
@dloveli (4366)
United States
July 7, 2009 6:36am CST
I shouldnt say kill. These days people take that in the literal sense. I dont know what is going on but he is bothering the sh** out of me! I am currently enemployed so we are financially struggling. When he had the same circumstances, I picked up the slack, no problem. I am really wondering whether we can make it thru. He is so jealous of my time spent doing anything else. When I try to be near him its always something. WHat do I do? I love him without a doubt. He is my soul mate. We are just having hard times right now and he doesnt want to hear complaining. I can be obnoxious so I try very hard to watch what I say. I am not a bad person. I try to do the right thing for everyone else before myself. I dont want to lose him. I feel as if I am always the bad guy. I make him feel bad. I talk to him too much. What? I do like to chat but I can also control it. He makes it seem as if I am always at him. This is why I need to work. So we dont get on each other's nerves. I honestly dont know how much more I can take. I know it's easy to say leave him. How many of you would just up and leave someone who is not only your lover but your best friend. We still act like we just met. He doesnt care who he tells that he loves me. I need some helpful hints... Tell me, what you do to stop or avoid and argument? If youre going to say leave him, make sure you would do what your implying I should do. I am asking what you would do?
2 people like this
10 responses
@khayshenz (1384)
• United States
9 Jul 09
Ahhhh - you too??? Yeahhhh - me too. Well, my hours are reduced. So during those days that I'm not working - I call him or TRY to call him or tell him that I want to see him. But he works nights - and day time, he sleeps. So he either doesn't answer or doesn't pick up or just gets mad because I don't respect his "sleeping time" even though I make sure that I give him ample time.
Hang in there - don't trip too much! We women - we trip easily when our significant other is mad at us. I'm sure he's not planning on walking away. Just be more accommodating, I guess.
Like I said, we're on the same boat. So I'm making it up as I go. Good luck!
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
9 Jul 09
Thanks for the advice. The sad part about my relationship is that before he was with me, he had more than one all the time. Now that we are together I know he loves me by the fact that it is just me, he pays all the bills, it really is his apartment. Why would he move me and my children in if he could use this as a meeting place for all his women. I tell myself how I should appreciate what he gave up for me. I do. But come on its been 5 years. I was thankful and have now moved on to aggrivated. It always the same" I can do what I want its my house." By this he means if he wants to slam doors, be an as* he can. Its almost sickening. He is so set in his ways. We have been living together since our first day together. It is unusual but we knew it was right. I only hope it is still right. thanks for the well wishes. I hope your mate realizes what a good woman he has. It sad when the woman act like stanks they run after them. When we act as we are supposed to they take us for granted. Go figure.... Good lUck to you too my friend. dl
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
8 Jul 09
That would normally be a good idea. He is really annoying the hell out of me. I have two children that live with us. He gets up in a bad mood and begins slamming doors and if I say anything. Its my house he says. F you and your house. My kids deserve a good night sleep. as much as it would be if his family was here. I dont know why but I am thinking it might be over soon. I hope not but I must be honest. dl
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
11 Jul 09
This is a time when relationships are stretched to the limit...you already know that. Your partner feels like sh!t and so he takes it out on you because he loves you so much...by hurting you, he hurts himself. You need to get him to talk...you need to sit down somewhere quietly, away from the home if possible and get him to open up because he really feels bad that he is not doing his thing to support his family and he feels like carp. You can't say or do anything right at this stage so tell him how you are feeling and tell him you want to help him feel better about everything. Leaving or separation should NOT be an option.
Could he maybe do some volunteer work? He will be meeting new people and perhaps a job opportunity will eventuate...it's quite often not what you know but who you know. You two are not alone...thousands of families are going through these crises and leaving doesn't improve anything. You have each other and you love each other, that's a very good thing.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
7 Jul 09
This sounds like I could have written it. I actually called a friend last week and told her that I might kill him when I got home. Our problems are linked to finances the same as yours. I am working and he does do some side work, but he is home more than I am but never does anything to help me out. I seem to voice my opinion about things more than he would like me to and then it is an argument. I hate it,but it is the way it is. He has been out of town for a day or two working and I hope that he stays a few more as I need a break from him. I will try to figure out a way to stay but I am like you and really feel that I can't take much more. He seems to think that I can do everything and work and never get tired. I can't do it.
@furbs178 (6)
• United States
7 Jul 09
Financial troubles can make or break a couple. I would say sit down and talk with him and make sure he know its going to be a conversation and not just you or him venting and complaining. Try to come to some compromise. Try to actively look for jobs and show him what you have applied to, to show him you are trying to do your part while he does his. He probably feels very stressed being the sole provider and trying to make ends meet which is why he says things about your time spent "doing anything else." Make sure that if you are on a budget you do your budget together every month, and if you are not on a budget, get on one! You have to be very strict about it to. This can help alleviate some financial headache, which will in-turn alleviate relationship headache. A true relationship involves a lot of sacrifice on both sides. Make your side known to him but also make sure you find out what his side really is.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
7 Jul 09
Thank you very much for the advice. Its funny sometimes you have to take a step back and listen to someone else. You have given me a few things to do and think about. We are on a budget and we dont stray from it. One of the problems is that he doesnt want meto work. Of course I have to work. He likes to spend alot of time together. So do I. I also know he likes things his way. We need to compromise. Its funny they say you always end up with someone like your daddy. This is soooo true. If my dad had a twin it would be my fiance. lol thanks for the advice. I am going to try my hardest to save us from ourselves. Happy MyLotting. dl
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
7 Jul 09
I would never say leave him on this note.
People always have those bad times. I had plenty thru the years when hubby was out of work 4 months of teh year and we only lived on his unemployment check.
adn things got pretty hairy sometimes to get food and all.
but we hang in there and really had a great life.
and I would just say maybe go to another room for awhile if ya think you are bugging him.
@ShirleyBillingsley (1544)
• United States
7 Jul 09
The first thing that you need to do, is slow down, take it easy, and simply relax, for a change. You are totally stressed out right now. Make you a picnic basket..yea, i know, that is what i said..a picnic basket! Grab a blanket. Load up the car, and just take him, and get away from everything, and everybody, just the two of you, and go have just a relaxing and fun time. That's it. For right now.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
7 Jul 09
Sounds like you are just going through a rough spot, hang in there, you know you have a good man and there are not that many around. Find something to interest your self, if you are the one not working give some time to the community and let that be your social outlet for a while, Who knows you may even find employment that way, I did. Blessings
@srganesh (6340)
• India
7 Jul 09
The financial crisis is the thing disturbing you and your partner.Some people cannot digest they are left without enough money and so they start to lose their temper and yell at anybody.They just don't know that they can be happy with the relationships despite the money involved.So,for the time being remain cool,avoid conversations and live like a stranger to him.By and by he will realize his mistakes and turn towards you.That is the only thing left for your love heart.You can't act indifferent against your love.Hope he realizes soon.Cheers!
