Will you trust again in somebody who lie to you once?

I have a couple of things to say about this. The first is about trust. Trust is like respect, it has to be earned. I let people prove themselves to me before I let them know anything truly personal about me. I have learned over my short life time how to guage a person based on what they do, and how they carry themselves. My assessment of a persons character is only minimally based on what they say. We put too much emphasis on verbal communication in this society. We've got a million different technologies all centered on making connections and yet the divorce rate is above fifty percent and the teen pregnancy birth rate is rising for the first time in twenty years, not to mention it is almost impossible to get a burger and have it my way in most cities I've been to. Verbal communication is a shroud that stands between you and what the other person is really saying. If you want to know if someone is lying to you pretend you are in a poker game and you are trying to figure out what the other player has in his hand. He's not going to tell you that he's only got a pair, he bluffs instead and raises like he's got Aces. But what are the tells? Have you ever seen someone who was obviously depressed but when you or someone asked the said they were okay? Thier shoulders are slumped their head is hanging, thier face looks greived and tourtured. Which information is more accurate? I'll give you an example: I met a woman earlier this year who is definitely a liar. I went to school with her son who was adopted by another family as well as his siblings when they were all too young to remember, it was only serendipity that brought the fact that this woman is the biological mother of my friend to light. I knew him very well when we were in school and he told me some personal details about his adoption status because we have that in common. So I knew his background better than she thought I did. She verbally insisted in our conversations that she had raised her children. I know that no mother's heart ever abandons her baby, but in fact she did not raise them. During this particular conversation I noticed her bearing. Her forehead was drawn together as if she was feeling some regret, as if her words were only a wish, a wish that she had gotten to raise her children.And she repeated her story several times adding more and more minute details as if it would add plausibility to her claim that she was perfect as a mother and was persecuted by others who didn't want her to be happy. (That is another sign that someone is telling lies, blame, if they take no responsibility for something that they should be or are totally responsible for then they are not sincere.) I had a few conversations to try to determine what kind of person she was, but she beat me to the punch and proved what kind of person she is. I won't go into all of the details but she is definitely one of the easiest cases of disfunction to unofficially diagnose as I could have hoped to find. The other thing that I wanted to address is the fact that we all lie. Wether is is to hide something shameful, or to protect a loved one, or to keep a secret, or to make a surprise for someone, or just because it isn't anyone else's business, we all tell lies. There is something worse than a liar. A liar is always obviously manipulative. Even if you get caught up being manipulated at some point you realize and recognize that that is what is happening and you take steps to change the situation. The thing that is worse than a liar is someone who beleives lies without any compunction. Someone who never asks why and just beleives whatever they see on t.v. or whenever someone who is more powerful than they percieve themselves to be, they beleive it blindly. These are the ones who do the most to spread slander and the lies that liars tell. So what do you think? Have I used to many words to express my opinion on this topic. Do you think I'm being honest?

well, yes i can understand how it feels regarding chronic liars,it is very difficult to stand them. and i am not sure how you can handle them as well. i have one of my relatives who is a chronic liar, and i have tried to tell him several times to get rid of this habit. but, it has not really helped as he has not changed much. well, you can avoid them if they are outsiders,but what if they are your family ?

Yes , i will choose to trust them .... everybody lives in the world would say some lies ,and some of them are beautiful lies.... If u would say lies , why not forgive that guys lied to u..,,

i would trust him again if he has a good reason to do it! And there are pitfull lies, that have the porpuse to make you feel better, like if you ask somebody if you look good in a dress and he say you do, even though you dont!

When someone lies to you once, and you know they did, let them know very clearly that they have lost your trust. If someone blatantly lies to me, it damages my trusting them, and they must re-earn my trust. I don't just hand it to them.

It is not a generall rule that people of few words are not lieing , niether people who talk to much are necessecery lieing. You dont have to prove to any one that you are not stupid. just listen to what any one is telling you, judge what you are hearing, if you like and beleive what you are hearing respond to it , if not just ignore it, Even better if you know the perosn lies to mucht dont listen to them from the begining, and if the person is not like that and you felt they are lieing just confront them right away, dont waste your time , inturrpet them and close the supject. Easy as that for me.

No way to rely on them again. But nowadays there are a lot of people who use lies to get what they want. How to avoid!! Maybe when you meet him just try to look at the other side or just don't pay attention to him/her. I have some problems too and after I did this, they understood that they are not welcome anymore. Hope this will help. Cheers and have a nice day.

the truth is it's very hard to trust someone who lied to you once. you will always have that feeling deep down that the person is untruthful. but sometimes if that person, chooses to change and you are willing to truly forget and forgive,..it is possible to trust again.

I think I might trust him/her again but I would reserve the reliability of his/her credibility since he/she has lied before, it is not easy to make somebody trust you completely again, it needs time and actions to prove if it is true to trust again. I think if somebody that has lied to me before and want me to trust him again, I will say I trust and check out if it is true later.

It is very difficult to trust a person i he or she has lied to you once and hasn't been able to justify the lie. The feeling of dis- trust always lies within you for that person.... If you have patched up again then you may force yourself to trust him again but there will be a feeling of insecurity always in you..... I am a straight shooter... i don't beat around bush.... If i don't want a person around me i don't try to avoid him. I just tell him on his ace .. i don't like you don't talk to me don't be around..... that makes me kind of rude but you gotta treat such people right and this is the right way. But most of the time i don't get involved with someone so much that his lying to me hurts. You gotta keep a limit to friendship and all... If you want not to get hurt...

It depends on the situation. Some people lie to protect the ones they care about. It does not make it right but you do understand their intentions. But some lies should never be told. Once they are they can't be taken back. Trust is vulnerable. It is hard to get back once it is gone. I hate lies. Lies hurt and the truth usually comes out in the end anyway!

It is a betrayal of trust when someone lies to you. I think I would still give a chance to someone who has lied to me. But what I am going to give is just one chance. If in case he does it again and lie to me, that would be the end of it all. I believe that I cannot go on and be with someone who is a congenital liar.

You know, sometimes life teach us that we must to be wise, and understand what really happened when peoples lie each other. Is very hard when somebody who you love lie on you, this really hurt, and what is very bad, we lose trust in people., and others will pay for somebody lies.

To my opinion, liars will remain liars.. they won't stop. Of coz in the initial stage, I believe what they said, but once I found out they lied (I don't mean white lies) or cheat, I will shut them off. And I will tell them straight what I have found out, and ask them to stay away! I was cheated badly though and now it's still hurts badly!

I do not like liars. Plus i do not also believe them.I think the person who has this habit will always do so.

In my mind, as a friend, you should not give your friend a chance to lie to you. You should give him enough space. But even in this way, if it still happens. I still think it is not a big problem, if it doesn't hurt you a lot. My friend has ever lied to me, lead me in some troubles. I did not say anything. In this way, you can have more friends.

I think there is nothing wrong in giving a chance to someone who lied before. Because the one who lied to you may be your dear one. It is better to tolerate with one lie than repenting after loosing the one.

So do I.I will not believe them again and I don't want to listen whatever they say.I think,you can refute them and show the truth about something that they lie.They will know that you are not stupid.

depends on what lie he/she did.of course it so sad to know that we trusted someone who lied to us,and sad to know that after being honest some people lied.we can never judge a person by lying alone,he/she had reason for doing so.but if a person keeps lying and lying,better avoid him/her.a liar is not a good friend and may even put us into trouble.

there are this kind of people everywhere.the only thing we can do is to ignore them.when people lie to me,I always smile and keep silent.don't know if there's a better way to handle it