May have another eye surgery

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I am real depressed because I was hoping I could fight this option I am still feel like I can. My son has had three surgeries in the first two years of his life. To me that seems excessive but its his health and I feel like its my fault. His first surgery was tubes but I believe that was genetic because I had tubes. His second surgery was a tear duct probe. His third surgery was repeat tear duct probe with insertion of tube. THe tube was there three months. The whole time his eye didn't get better. So when he went to the eye doctor a few months ago as a follow up I told the doctor it was no better. It constantly drains clear fluid to the point where people will come up to me saying oh what a cutie has he been crying. NO he hasn't been crying thats the problem. Then he gets eye infections often. He has had two eye infections in the last month. As soon as the first one was gone I was like okay no big deal then over the weekend it came back. I am desperate for other options. I hate walking into the hospital at five in the morning. My son being taking away from me while both him and me are crying. My son being put on anestesia while I am worrying will he wake up. Then hearing the crying for half an hour as he tries to recover from the anestesia. Watching the bleeding from the area of surgery. I just can't take it. So my son has another appointment today. THe doctor has already requested another surgery but I am going to ask him other options. Which I may not have any but I just dont feel like this is helping. My sons vision may also be at stake. Which my uncle had the same problem growing up and is blind now. My son is already far sighted but the doctor says he may outgrow it. This is very emotional for me because I am a young first time mother and never expected this in a child. Sorry so long but I had to talk about what I am going through.