Is your partner being Over Possessive a deal breaker?
By cbeee3
@cbeee3 (2061)
India
July 9, 2009 2:21pm CST
..For me it would be a deal breaker for sure. My ex was over possessive and he also had double standards. It was ok for him to talk to women but when I spoke to men even at work, he would get worked up. It finally led to him abusing me and me dumping him.
Being protective and possessive till an extent is one thing.
I am mature enough to know the boundaries I should not be crossing.So I cannot stand a person who does not give me my space.
What about you? Would it be a deal breaker for you in a relationship, or would you think of it as him/her loving you more? Would you learn to adjust or do you think it would be better to walk on?
4 people like this
8 responses
@allisonbrk (155)
• United States
9 Jul 09
SUCH a deal breaker. I work with mostly men. I have friends that I grew up with who are men. No way I would ONLY hang out with my girlfriends. Any guy that tells me not to talk to other guys is soooo not worth losing life-long friendships over. Luckily for me, my man is in the same boat and has a lot of female friends. I trust him completely and I know he trusts me. I think he realizes that if I wanted these guys I would have acted a looong time ago. Definitely much better to walk on.
@cbeee3 (2061)
• India
10 Jul 09
Oh that is good to know! Trust is the key in any relationship. Without trust, there is no relationship! I agree with you. The very fact that I am with someone is a sign that I don't want someone else.
Besides, I am way too candid. So I don't lie. If I don't want to be in a relationship, I will walk out. I don't cheat on people and everyone who is anyone who is my friend/ partner knows that.
God bless and thanks a lot for your response!
Besides, I am way too candid. So I don't lie. If I don't want to be in a relationship, I will walk out. I don't cheat on people and everyone who is anyone who is my friend/ partner knows that.
God bless and thanks a lot for your response!
@mkrishna22 (465)
• India
9 Jul 09
yeah, i agree that he was not being fair to you. it is just too ridiculous and a flaw inhis pesonality, but is that reason good enough for me to dump him, i am not too sure. people have deficiencies in their character, but it the rest of their personality is ok, then i guess you should accept him with that. since, you know your ex better, so it is for you to decide whether he had other things which irritated you or is this the only reason. you are the best judge.
2 people like this
@cbeee3 (2061)
• India
10 Jul 09
Thanks for your response.
. I learnt from this experience only to know that in the future I cannot be with someone who is over-possessive as I cannot bear it. I feel suffocated.Tell me what hurts you and I won't do it. But when a partner gets over bearing and starts telling me who I should and should not talk to at every step, it is just beyond reason.
God bless!
. I learnt from this experience only to know that in the future I cannot be with someone who is over-possessive as I cannot bear it. I feel suffocated.Tell me what hurts you and I won't do it. But when a partner gets over bearing and starts telling me who I should and should not talk to at every step, it is just beyond reason.
God bless!
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
27 Jul 09
So someone abused you before.. what a real non-gentleman he is..
I dislike possessive partners too and there are also women like that. Men and women like that are aplenty and if ever I come across a very possessive partner, I'll run miles and miles away. I dislike possessiveness (the extreme ones) because they would suffocate our freedom and it will look kind of childish too. There's a saying that if you love someone, you are willing to let her/him go. I believe in that 100%..
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
28 Jul 09
It's either you are trying to get over and done with this comment or that you like me too much to be posting the answer twice.. 
I'm kidding, as usual. Ah, now I know where those 2 lovely poems came from, such emotions expressed. You are still active there, aren't you..? I will take a look at more of your writings and no, no I'm not going to bug you about the blog thing.. 
You will find someone that loves you for you and whom won't ever lay down a finger even on you. Mark my words.. 
I'm kidding, as usual. Ah, now I know where those 2 lovely poems came from, such emotions expressed. You are still active there, aren't you..? I will take a look at more of your writings and no, no I'm not going to bug you about the blog thing..
You will find someone that loves you for you and whom won't ever lay down a finger even on you. Mark my words.. 1 person likes this
@cbeee3 (2061)
• India
27 Jul 09
Hiya zed,
Missed ya *hugs*
Yes, on I had an abusive Non-gentleman guy.
Yup there are many out there like that, both men and women. I'm like, "dude, I know my limits, just let me breathe." Remember .."Let me breathe"? and "Those precious tears".He was my muse.Ha! At least 2 good poems and a whole lot of common sense came out of that relationship.LOL
I agree with you too. If you believe in your love, set him/her free. Else it is bound to fail one day or another.
Thanks for your response!!
Yes, on I had an abusive Non-gentleman guy.
Yup there are many out there like that, both men and women. I'm like, "dude, I know my limits, just let me breathe." Remember .."Let me breathe"? and "Those precious tears".He was my muse.Ha! At least 2 good poems and a whole lot of common sense came out of that relationship.LOL
I agree with you too. If you believe in your love, set him/her free. Else it is bound to fail one day or another.
Thanks for your response!! 1 person likes this
@cbeee3 (2061)
• India
27 Jul 09
Hiya zed,
Missed ya *hugs*
Yes, on I had an abusive Non-gentleman guy.
Yup there are many out there like that, both men and women. I'm like, "dude, I know my limits, just let me breathe." Remember .."Let me breathe"? and "Those precious tears".He was my muse.Ha! At least 2 good poems and a whole lot of common sense came out of that relationship.LOL
I agree with you too. If you believe in your love, set him/her free. Else it is bound to fail one day or another.
Thanks for your response!!
Yes, on I had an abusive Non-gentleman guy.
Yup there are many out there like that, both men and women. I'm like, "dude, I know my limits, just let me breathe." Remember .."Let me breathe"? and "Those precious tears".He was my muse.Ha! At least 2 good poems and a whole lot of common sense came out of that relationship.LOL
I agree with you too. If you believe in your love, set him/her free. Else it is bound to fail one day or another.
Thanks for your response!! 1 person likes this
@OConnell87 (1042)
•
9 Jul 09
i think in your situation i would have dumped him too because you're being prevented from demonstrating your rights as a human being.
2 people like this
@larish (2202)
• Philippines
10 Jul 09
I agree with you 100%. I would also dumped such person. It is true that we have grown to be mature enough to handle different situations. And being part of a relationship also yield that we have to be responsible for whatever actions we do. I agree with you when you say that "I am mature enough to know the boundaries I should be crossing". It would irate me if I will be with a person who are too possessive to the point that he will hurt me physically. I admire you for having the guts to break off with him. You really did the best decision. Keep it up.
1 person likes this
See you in another discussion!
@Iriene88 (5343)
• Malaysia
29 Jul 09
Dear cbeee3,
Yeah, it is not easy to live with people who are too possessive.
It is not healthy for a relationship. We should respect each
other and give each other the space needed. We will have our
own circle of friends and interest!
A very interesting topic and keep it up!
1 person likes this
@cbeee3 (2061)
• India
29 Jul 09
Hey there Iriene,
Thanks for your response!
I totally agree with you. There is no point being in a relationship with a person if you think the person is going to do something to harm the relationship.
I hope and pray people don't have to ever go through what I did.
Happy myLotting!
I totally agree with you. There is no point being in a relationship with a person if you think the person is going to do something to harm the relationship.
I hope and pray people don't have to ever go through what I did.
Happy myLotting!
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
9 Jul 09
I'm not in a relationship now but I couldn't stand a man who won't give me my space, either. I don't blame you for dumping him. I think it's better to walk on, myself. Like you said, being protective and possesive is one thing. Being too possessive is another. I think there's a happy medium in everything. Kathy.
1 person likes this
@khayshenz (1384)
• United States
23 Jul 09
YEAP! Definitely a deal breaker. I don't like being smothered - and in your case, that was beyond smothering. And I need room to breathe, to do my own thing, be my own woman. Anyway, my semi-long distance relationship has been great in this whole "smothering" issue. Because it's semi-long distance - we don't see each other everyday therefore no smothering. Which is good for both of us.
Sometimes we'll go 24 hours without texting or even talking on the phone! That's like once a week or so - but I'm glad that my partner is ok with that kind of space. Sometimes, I do wish that he was closer. =)
1 person likes this
