SHE DUMPED HIM!! THANKS FOR YOUR HELP! Just wanted to keep you posted...
By dloveli
@dloveli (4366)
United States
July 11, 2009 7:02am CST
I had started a discussion the other day about my daughter and this Dork she met a little over a month ago. He turned out to be a real ignorant Mother F'er. The other day was the last straw. I didnt want to be a tyrant and demand my 21 year old daughter stop seeing him because I am not in charge anymore! I was very proud of myself in the way I handled it. Usually I flip and go to the extreme. Thanks to friends at myLot and your kind words of advice, I let it go after I had talked to her and let her know my feelings. Alright so I nagged her about my feelings. I tried?.. Last night she came in and said the words I longed for. " Mom, I did it! I left Junior," or Dork as most of you know him. lol She even gave back the lap top. I was very impressed. She loved having her own laptop. I am going to help her get her own in a few weeks. I dont want to tell her now so she thinks Im doing it because of him. Dont tell her!!Anyways he kept calling her NOW he loves her! I thought for sure she would've felt bad. Nope. She said as if he was bothering her( I thought it was a nice touch) "can I call you back." Just wanted to share my happiness with you. Afterall we were in it together. thanks again MyLotters. YOU'RE THE BEST!!!!! dl
8 people like this
19 responses
@ElicBxn (63595)
• United States
18 Jul 09
I'm sorry I'm coming in on the end of this story, but at least it has a happy ending! I hope she stays strong, sometimes they get lonely, but it sounds like you have done a good job raising her to think for herself, at least once in a while.
21 is still young enough to not know any better, but it sounds like she's figuring that out!
2 people like this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
14 Jul 09
I am glad she did it. It seems if you push the fact you don't like them, the more bound they are to prove you wrong. Good luck to her and I am happy for you.
2 people like this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
14 Jul 09
Thanks thorough for you kind words. I know that to some it may look like I am trying to run her life. Honestly maybe I am a little. When I was her age I had her already and was being terrorized by her dad. THis guy was exhibiting some abusive qualities. They had only been together for about a month. They should've still been in the prince charming stage. Doing everything he can do to impress her. Instead he was yelling at her as if he knew her for a million years. He still has no right to yell at her no matter how long. I am ecstatic about him being gone. Thanks again dl.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I regret to say that it isnt over. There has been mnore drama since then. We now have the baby's mother pulling up as my daughter gets out of the car. I knew it wasnt over. I will keep praying on it. Its not my life. SHe is 21. If she chooses to go thru this, I only hope what's at the end of the rainbow is worth it. dl
1 person likes this
@daylite (5)
•
11 Jul 09
I read your story and please don't mind when i have to say something, it's acutally a question. Your daughter is 21 and u still tell her whom to meet and with whom to be with? I personally think, it's time for u to let your daughter make her own decisions. There is nothing worse on GOD'S green earth when parents break a loving relationship cause they can't stand the guy. It's obvious u didn't like Dork but it was your daughter's decision not yours. I have one question for your daughter? Do love this guy? Ask your own heart if u do.
2 people like this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I totally understand where you're coming from. However, this isnt by choice. There is nothing I would Like more than to let her go, so to speak. She moved back in with me 4 months ago. When she did my life as a woman stopped. SHe insinuates herself into every part of my life. I wouldnt be so involved if she would not tell me all these things and put me into it. Ever since she has been here my house has fallen apart. She is messy. She can be rude, inconsiderate. Things I didnt teach her. SO let me tell you being in her business is the last thing I want. Since I started this discussion the dork's baby's mother has come to MY house. MY daughter has been hurt. My younger daughter has been put in the middle. Its a nightmare! How can I not be involved. What do I do sit by and watch my house and children fall apart? Oh No! She put me in it and now Im here. If she wants to I have told her I would help her find a place of her own. She wants to be with me. I love my kids. If you could meet this guy, you would say that someone needs to jump in. I have never been involved in anyones business unless they ask. I cant sit and let her possibly be attacked. After the incidents with his ex, I have to watch out for my family. I hope you dont think I am a busy body. I just want my children to be safe. Thanks for your response. I respect you for saying it. I am going to show her your response and let her answer the questions herself. She is also a member of MyLot. So she can read it as well. thanks friend and Happy MyLotting. dl
1 person likes this
@cyberfluf (4996)
• Netherlands
11 Jul 09
I know from personal, teenage, experience that trying to keep your daughter away from a guy that is a 'loser' doesn't help. When you are young and in love you don't allways see what's good for you and what's a healthy relationship. I guess it's a fase we all go through and eventually we learn what makes us happy; even though having a healthy, loving relationship requires an effort aswell. The reward it gives us is makes it very much worth the while.
You did wonderfull, this is one of the hardest things for a mother to do. To let her child engage in something you know is not good for her. Now she has learned a valuable lesson on her own. Great job, congrats.
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
14 Aug 09
I am so glad she dumped the dork. Nothing worse than a nice woman in love with an idiotic man. I don't understand how it happens. I'm glad you were able to make your feelings known, while still understanding that you are not "in charge." This is an ability my mother still needs to work on, when I do something she doesn't exactly agree with.
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
11 Jul 09
That is wonderful that she dumped someone who was not good to her or for her. So many women hang on because they feel incomplete if they do not have someone in their lives.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
27 Aug 09
It's always great when kids can see things for what they are on their own. At least now you know she's level-headed enough to see ppl for who they are and that she can take care of herself.
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
12 Jul 09
Well that must be such a relief for you! I have 4 daughters and have watched them go thru their fair share of toads. It is really hard to stand back and watch, isn't it? Now let's hope the next guy your daughter hooks up with is more worthy! 
1 person likes this
@sjvenden27 (1840)
• United States
11 Jul 09
That is so awesome!! I am so happy for you and your daughter.. You did a great job, you were there for your daughter but no over bearing.. Because that could of pushed her to stay with him.. Being a young adult and wanting to have control of her own life... The laptop will be a wonderful surprise for your daughter... I am happy to hear that some of the younger generation still picks a better life versus material things... I have seen a lot of that going on; it is pretty sad to say... Great job 
@GardenGerty (160713)
• United States
11 Jul 09
You had just the right hand on the situation, I think. I am glad she is looking for something better, and getting along with her own life in the meantime.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
11 Jul 09
That is wonderful to hear. I am trying to get my 17 year old daughter away from a loser too. She has sneaked to see him many times. I gave her and him a chance and I am done with that. she needs to meet a good guy and not these losers she picks out.
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
11 Jul 09
Hehehe... convey my congratulations to your daughter. And perhaps you would like to tell her that a particular Mylotter commented that while choosing one's life partner one ought to listen to one's head, not one's heart. :) I am glad she took a wise decision. And I am really glad you are going to give her a laptop.
Cheers and happy Mylotting 
@devmitra (274)
• India
11 Jul 09
hey,its lovly to hear that..iam nw here and i didnt knw all abt it so well,yet,i knw a mothr always wanna chooses the best fr her children..im 21 yrs too and i knw hw it feels to gt rid of someone whos giving you a reason to be troubled..i say congo!! to you and pls say yr daughter nt to worry,cause,in the platform of life we gotta catch the right train of love,which will never cause trouble and will always keep us happy..bye fr nw..and all the very best to both of you..
